Skinny Pig by Uno @ Plaza Arkadia, Desa Park City

I have been frequenting Desa Park City lately and I came across a newly opened non-halal restaurant somewhere in April - Skinny Pig by Uno.

If you're wondering, Skinny Pig is managed by the people of Uno Group. I managed to do some research and got to know that Uno has been operating in 1997. I thought to myself, "Since the eatery has been there for more than 20 years, the food shouldn't be bad."

Then, last Saturday, when my cousin came over to KL, I've decided to bring him to Skinny Pig by Uno at Plaza Arkadia, Desa Park City.

We were one of the few earliest customers that particular day. I was kinda glad that the environment was really nice. Well, it's Plaza Arkadia, of course it's nice! Anyway, setting the environment issue aside, we proceeded to order few items on their menu, one of them being MaMa Belly since we've seen their advertisement on Instagram.

Being avid fans of Hakka style pork, all of us couldn't resist this dish as we all love, love, love deep fried pork belly.

Basically, we ordered few things:

1. Lamb Ragu
2. Pork Ribs
3. MaMa Belly
4. Iced Americano
5. Pepsi
6. Gua-Pel
7. 100 Plus

I have read reviews that their portions can be quite small but setting those negative reviews aside, we thought we would like to experience it ourselves by going and eating there.

When our drinks came, one of my cousins actually felt a bit disappointed that Gua-Pel isn't freshly squeezed juice. Well, if you're wondering, it's not stated on the menu whether it is bottled or freshly squeezed.

~ Gua-Pel @ RM12 ~

We made no noise because we thought, well, this could be miscommunication since we didn't ask the waitress. No biggie...

Then our main dishes came...

~ Pork Ribs @ RM38 ~

Pork Ribs is served one, yes, ONE piece of butterhead lettuce with one quarter lime. We were like, "What??!!"

It was seriously disappointing because we went to Naughty Nuri last weekend and we ordered Pork Ribs as well. The portion was big enough for our entire family of 6 but this one... it wasn't even enough for one person! The price that they charge is about the price that Naughty Nuri charges. WTF?!

Then, Lamb Ragu came...

~ Lamb Ragu @ RM22 ~

The portion for Lamb Ragu was alright but then again, the bread it came with sucks! Well, honestly, it was served with one piece of toast, cut into 4 halves. The bread is just like the normal Massimo or Gardenia bread loaf sold in grocery stores! I was half-heartedly thinking, "Is this even quality food that they charge us for? For this amount of money, I might as well buy Massimo or Gardenia bread outside!"

On the taste, it was quite good.

Then, our last dish came - MaMa Belly.

~ MaMa Belly @ RM22 ~

To our HORROR, the pork belly was served on almost withered lettuce and shredded cabbage!!!

What the freaking hell is that?!

MaMa Belly looked so freaking pathetic to the point, my cousin's jaw dropped and said, "WTF? This is the nice advertisement you've told us about?"

To be honest, I was a bit embarrassed... I was the one who suggested that we should go to Skinny Pig and the dish that my cousin ordered totally looked half dead. We talked about it and decided not to make a big fuss as we could write a review later on their Facebook.

As soon as I got home, I went to my laptop and wrote a review, expressing my dissatisfaction towards MaMa Belly. I wasn't expecting compensation or anything but merely an explanation on why their advertisement is so different from the real dish - the quantity of the pork belly especially. Within a few hours, the team at Skinny Pig replied to my review and this is how they replied.

Instead of rectifying the situation, the person behind the computer screen said we ordered the wrong dish. Our supposed-to-be MaMa Belly was not MaMa Belly but instead, it was Crackle 'n Pork Salad. WTF is wrong with these people?

Are they stating we do not know what we ordered? We specifically pointed at MaMa Belly when we ordered and we even double confirmed our order of MaMa Belly with the waitress and she repeated correctly. Even when we paid the bill, it was printed on the bill that we ordered MaMa Belly!!! That particular person has the gut to say we ordered Crackle 'n Pork Salad instead?!

If we were being served Crackle 'n Pork Salad instead of MaMa Belly, how should we be certain of that since there is NO ILLUSTRATION on the menu?

~ Picture obtained from Skinny Pig's Facebook ~

Are we supposed to be mind reader? That was our first patronage to Skinny Pig and they made us really uneasy, unhappy and mad at our decision to even go there in the first place!

To make things worse, this person 'explained' to us that Crackle 'n Pork Salad is served with crispy croutons, roasted pumpkin, dried cranberries and almond flakes, alongside with a dressing of honey and mustard.

WTF is that explanation?

Do you even see almond flakes, roasted pumpkin, dried cranberries, crispy croutons or even the dressing in the picture above?

Does this person even know what is on the menu?! How dare he or she gave invalid explanation?

All that I could see is a few pieces of pathetic pork belly with low quality vegetables. How can you, a restaurant managed by Uno (since 1997) serve this to the customers? The person behind the screen said only, "It saddened us that you and your guests did not have pleasant dining experience." 

Is there any apology for the mistake?

Oh, yeah, the apology is - let's try to play the BLAMING GAME!!!! Oh, it's the customer's mistake that the dish she ordered was Crackle 'n Pork Salad. The salad is actually quite nice as it is served with crispy croutons, dried cranberries, roasted pumpkin and almond flakes. Not to forget, we have our homemade honey and mustard dressing as well! Hopefully the bitchy customer doesn't catch my mistake - teehee!

No, you're freaking wrong - there wasn't any apology but all that I felt was - we were being blamed! I responded by confirming that we ordered MaMa Belly and it was RM22. Let's say if we really were being served with Crackle 'n Pork Salad, the ingredients that the person behind the screen mentioned were not served in the dish AT ALL!!! Now, whose mistake is it? Me, again?!

When family and friends from my Facebook actually commented on that, Skinny Pig by Uno has the nerve to totally remove my review!

Probably their policy is - if you can't settle the issue, DELETE THE FREAKING COMMENT!

Like, what?!

Is this how Skinny Pig by Uno handle dissatisfied customers? Is this even professional of them to completely throw out customer's reviews and comments instead of trying to improve based on what people commented?

So, they think they are good enough that they can delete customer's reviews and feedbacks, huh? Bravo, Skinny Pig, for being so freaking unprofessional!

Body shaming - the struggle is real

I was at Singapore not long ago to attend a job interview. I didn't inform my friends of my trip there because I didn't want to make a big fuss out of it if I don't get the job.

I'm going to do this - Mean Girls Edition.

Since the interview was scheduled to be at 5pm, I took a morning flight from KL to Singapore on the day itself. Due to unforeseen circumstances, my morning flight was delayed for an hour and I reached Changi Airport at around 1.45pm. It was quite nerve-wrecking because my initial schedule was perfect and because of the delay, somehow, my schedule was f*cked up.

After rushing through lunch, I actually thought of checking in into the hostel I booked but due to insufficient time, I had to drag my luggage all the way from Changi Airport to Novena. Yes, the interview was at Novena. The journey took approximately 45 minutes and by the time I reached my destination, it was already 4.10pm. I had to hastily get changed and prepared for the interview in less than 30 minutes. I ran over to C. Fitness after I have gotten ready and headed to the reception counter, telling the receptionist I have an appointment for an interview at 5pm. Instead of greeting me politely, the receptionist's facial expression totally put me off.

"Where's your working visa?" she asked me.

I was taken aback and answered politely, "Excuse me, I'm here for an interview - I need a job and in order for me to get my working visa, you guys have to hire me."

"No working visa, cannot work!" she replied.

At that point of time, I was a bit angry but I tried to keep my sanity. I was VERY clear to the person who sent me the job interview email that I am a Malaysian and currently based in KL. How on Earth can this rude receptionist demand for my Singapore working visa?

I repeated, "I am here for an interview."

Period.

My expression changed - I am not someone who could tolerate nonsense and idiots.

"You go there, you sit, you fill form."

I was thinking, "WTF! What kinda staff do this place actually hire?!"

It took me around 5 minutes to complete the forms. I handed those forms back to the receptionist and I was told to have a seat and the interviewer will be attending to me shortly.

I waited.

Waited.

Waited and waited.

30 minutes had gone by - that Mr. XXX finally came out to the reception and had the nerve to ask me, "Now who scheduled today's interview?"

I retorted, "You."

Obviously, it was him - why on Earth would I travel all the way to Singapore if I don't have any job interviews from any companies?

"Oh, you know what? You take a seat and I will come back to you in a bit," Mr. XXX told me.

At that point of time, I was annoyed. What kinda company C. Fitness is? How can someone scheduled the interview and totally forgot about it? Furthermore, I had to travel all the way from KL to Singapore for this kinda nonsense?

Fine, I guessed I had to deal with it - I waited again.

5 minutes passed by...

10 minutes were gone...

Another 30 minutes of waiting...

BITCH! I WAITED FOR THE INTERVIEW FOR 1 F*CKING HOUR! 

Never in my life had I met companies that treated interviewees like so - 1 freaking hour of waiting? No explanation or anything even after he showed up again? I thought C. Fitness is supposed to be customer service oriented now, how can they even have irresponsible staff like so?

Again, I tried to keep my sanity amidst of all the troubles I went through from the KLIA2 to C. Fitness in Novena.

Okay, here's the interesting part - the first thing Mr. XXX told me at the moment I sat down for the interview, "I'm sorry but the position of trainer has been filled."

I was ready to blow - what the f*ck was he thinking? I didn't go all the way to Singapore to be treated like a lower class person and I definitely do not deserve to be treated like that even if they didn't want to hire me. They should have informed me earlier if the position has been filled so that I didn't need to rush all the way to Novena for NOTHING!

I admit, I am a Malaysian and I am seeking a job opportunity in Singapore but we Malaysians do not go all the way to Singapore to be treated like dogs or servants. We have our integrity and we certainly do not deserve to be treated like that, C. Fitness.

Then, Mr. XXX further said, "You know what? We will be opening another trainer position in either March or April this year, why not you come back by then?"

BITCH!

After what I have gone through earlier, did he really think I would want to go back to C. Fitness again for another interview?

HELL NO!

"If you don't mind, we do have a position as a sales consultant. I'm not sure if it is going to interest you."

Hello, Mr. XXX, I didn't go all the way to Singapore just to get the position of a sales consultant. If I wanna do sales, I would just settle down in KL. I was thinking too, I could be mean too by telling him to go to hell because my parents certainly didn't send me to universities just to end up as a sales consultant. I am not looking down at sales consultants but I am seeking a job that is related to what I have been doing. I am not a good sales person and I never will be.

Of one question that really made me angry, "I'm wondering how are you going to travel from KL to Singapore on everyday basis if you get a job here?"

Bitch, please!

That was like the stupidest question I have ever gotten in my entire life! Now, have you seen anyone who travel from KL to Singapore on everyday basis just for a job, Mr. XXX?

As I was prepared to leave, he stopped me, "Since you're already here, why not do a body analysis? Who knows you'd stand a better chance to work for us?"

I knew it was nothing good but I went ahead because I wanted to know the result as well especially after all the CNY munching. When the result was printed, he sat me down and finally told me the reality that HE IS NOT HIRING ME but in the WORST WAY ever!

"Let's take a look at your body fat percentage here - 36.1% and that is way too high. In order for you to get the position as a trainer here, your body fat percentage has to be 23% or less. Let's do it this way - give yourself one month time, lose some weight, lose some fat and come back to us. You have my email so, keep me updated, okay?"

F*CK YOU SO VERY, VERY MUCH!

To someone who has spent more than 10 years of her life trying to lose weight, that was exactly the most shameful and disrespectful thing to be said ever!

All my life, I struggled to lose weight and only last year alone, my weight was at its lowest. I gained back my long lost self-confidence and then, Mr. XXX totally murdered it. If you don't intend to hire me, please be honest and just let me know that the position has been filled, there is no need for you to bring me down to my weakest and literally murder me.

If you're thinking it was my own fault to apply for the position of a trainer in a fitness center was my fault - did they even state the requirement in their advertisement?

Things like 23% or lower body fat percentage, fit, slim and slender should be in the advertisement!

Mr. XXX totally made me felt so ashamed of myself with my weight. I felt fat and ugly. My self-confidence was lost again.

People may tell me, "It's okay, you don't deal with Mr. XXX or other Mr. XXXs on everyday basis, so cheer up."

Do you actually know it affected me emotionally and mentally? For people who have been trying so hard to lose weight, this kinda body-shaming discussions totally murder them. I felt it at that point of time.

If I could lose weight within one month and my body fat percentage could be less than 23%, why would I be working with you? I would go into modelling, you idiot! I'm just a typical human being, searching for a job and the way Mr. XXX treated me was certainly not the right way to deal with people. Nobody deserved to be treated like that.

On the topic about going back after one month for another interview - whatever!

I am not interested in Mr. XXX or the company any longer. I may be better off searching for a job elsewhere.

One thing that I learned on that very day - there are people out there who will bring you down no matter how good you are.

You're just too picky!

This is the topic that I am quite reluctant to talk about for the longest time.

I have been trying my best to avoid it because I know if anyone within my circle of friends start to talk about it, I will be the first or probably second target in the conversation.

You want to know why?

It's all because I am 30 and I am still single.

Okay, welcome to my life!

True enough, over the years, I have series of unhappy events when it comes to relationships and most of the times, I did blog about it.

Personally, I think there is nothing wrong with me, confiding in my blog because certain times, when you talk to people about your story, people do not understand your situation and that makes everything worse! To me, my blog is a person to whom I could go on and on about one thing and he doesn't respond negatively to me - if you're not happy reading my blog, you are always welcome to leave.

Okay, here comes the real thing.

I have been getting a lot of questions from people around me, "Angel, why are you still single?"

At this age, I do get it when people question you about it but the thing that really makes me angry is when people ask me the next question, "Are you too picky?"

First of all, let me tell you this - when you direct this question to a person who is single and still searching, the person being asked may not tell you anything but it could be offensive to them.

I hate it when people label me as 'picky'.

My argument is that if you think I am picky, why not we divert the question to yourself for a bit? If you are not picky, would you end up with your current boyfriend or husband? If you are not picky, would you just randomly choose a stranger and marry him or her?

The answer is a 'no', so, quit labeling other people as picky when you do not know their stories.

I know I can complain a lot about being single but at the same time, I refuse to do something about it.

Do you know why I refuse to do something about it?

If you do not know why, let me tell you again - I have had enough experiences with jerks and assholes who were only eyeing money and sex. My life is not about lending my money to any guys out there and it certainly has nothing to do with sex or even one night stand.

Sorry to those who are practicing this but seriously, if you come to me just because you are thinking about sex without string attached, my only sentence to you, "TO HELL WITH YOU!"

If you love sex or one night stand so much, go and find yourselves some professional prostitutes out there because one thing I know for sure, I am not one of them.

If you're thinking of preaching me that I should know how to satisfy a guy sexually, then, I will advise you to stop trying to preach me because I am a lady with high ego and I am not going to listen to your preach since I have my own life to lead. Seriously, I have no interest in wanting to know how you perform blowjobs on your boyfriends or how good you are in all positions in bed - save it to yourself!

To me, finding the right person is more important than any other things in this world and if sex is bound to happen, let it happen with the right person so that even if you guys do not end up getting married, still, it happened without regrets.

Once, a friend came to me, telling me, "Angel, I envy you because you are still single and you have no worries about relationships."

 You are not me, how would you know I have no worries about relationships? Sometimes I just do not talk to people about my relationship problems because I believe certain things shouldn't be spread.

When you are in a relationship and at the same time, your friend is single, stop telling him or her, "I envy you because you are single - you don't realize how troublesome relationships can be."

In that case, break up with your current partner and stay single!!!!!

Why do you even need to worry when you can break up?

Don't tell me, "Oh, you wouldn't understand my dilemmas - we've been together for almost 10 years and breaking up is not an option." 

Quit telling me also, "We've been married, it's not as easy as you've thought."

Sure it sounds easy to me when you are trying be 'envious' over me, being single.

If it is not easy, quit telling people how 'envious' you are - it doesn't work that way! Certain things may look easy to you but it is NOT that easy for the person who is actually going through it. Quit telling people that they do not understand your situation because you do not understand their situations too.

Worse still, I hate it when people tell me, "Maybe the time is not right, when it is right, Mr. Right will appear."

Hey, do you think Mr. Right is like a wizard whom can appear and disappear as he likes? If you are unsure, save the consolation to yourself. I do not appreciate your consolation at all because it irks me. It makes me feel like you are trying to laugh at my misery.

You do not know what I have been through so, don't just jump into the picture and tell me something offensive. It would be better if you switch to another subject that is less offensive.

I do not mind people telling me about their relationships but I get annoyed and angry when people try to label me as picky and stuffs like that. I have been in pathetic relationships with wrong guys and if you are gonna tell me I am not trying hard enough, you should just commit suicide!

Lesson of the day for all of you out there:

1 - Do not tell your single friends that maybe they are too picky - it's not your call.

2 - If you are gonna preach them, make sure you can tolerate it if they preach you.

3 - Stop trying to sound professional when you are not.

Goodbye, 2014 - you have been mean to me!

Right before we slipped into 2014, I had been telling myself that 2014 would be a good year and everything would be starting fresh but it appeared that I was wrong - wrong in so many ways.

I used to read blogs talking about new year resolutions and now, in 2015, I noticed that I have stopped doing so because I have stopped caring about what other people are going through, be it good or bad. First and foremost, you cannot be labeling me as selfish or anything because you are NOT me to begin with and you do not have the rights to judge what I have gone through in 2014.

However, there is indeed one thing I want to point out - know who your friends are.

On the surface, some people may appear to be friendly and sincere but, ask yourself a question, "Can I trust them?"

If this question has been lingering in your mind for quite some time already, I can tell you, "No, you shouldn't put 100% trust on everyone aside from your family."

Fake friends are everywhere.

In terms of friendship, I guess I am quite idiotic - I tend to trust people easily but throughout 2014, I guess I have learned quite a number of things in friendship.

Some people are waiting for the right moment to bring you down.

They would be the cause of all the problems you would be going through.

Friends like so - you may want to forget about it. You will eventually see that friends like so are going to bring more pain to you than joy.

It broke my heart but what can I do? I don't like making enemies but sometimes, life doesn't go the way you wanted it to be.

Life is cruel but fake friends are more than just cruel...

Accident happens!

Happy Saturday!

It's confession time!

The other day, when I was online, I was pretty much in a bad mood because everything went wrong and that included my blog settings. I was getting so freaking pissed with all the blog settings and in the end, I accidentally deleted my main albums in Picasa. Then, I was like, "Oh, sh*t!"

Only then, I realized Picasa is somehow linked to my Gmail and it is also linked to my blog. I was like, "WTF?!" 

I tried emailing Google and Picasa but up to today, nobody replied my email.

I guess I won't be getting all my pictures back... 

I'm so sorry, fellow readers - for the missing pictures in my previous entries.

Lulu, you will be dearly missed!

I have always been a cat person all my life.

Back then, when I was a kid, I remember, we used to keep 13 cats. In the end, mum had to give the cats away because we did not have any space at home to keep all cats. We ended up keeping 1 to 3 cats and every four months, when the new batch of kittens were born we would choose our favourite cats and keep 1 or 2.

Lulu came in as the last batch because my brother neutered her when she was just a few months old.

Since then, Lulu grew bigger and bigger.

Our love towards her grew because she taught us to be patient and more caring towards animals. She used to rescue unknown kitties and brought them home to feed them until my parents were shocked of the sudden presence of these kitties. They had to give away these kitties.

I guess, it is indeed true that animals are loving towards each other.

Our Lulu was the most patient cat that we ever had.

She had the best temper and never really did get annoyed or angry at us. She would purr loudly and requested for tummy rub all the times.

She would come into the house and waited for us to wake up every morning outside of our room's door.

After breakfast, her daily activities would be to lie on the sofa and sleep. In the afternoon, she would wake up for her lunch before sneaking away. She would re-appear during dinner time and then on, she would stay with us in the living room until the next day.

During those days when my brother wasn't around the house, Lulu would sit in front of the room, staring blankly into it, half expecting my brother to be in the room. This had been her habit because my brother always brought her into the room with him whenever he was around.

I remember how it always melted my heart when I saw Lulu waiting right outside the room. I used to tell myself, Lulu, you've make us love you each and every day!

When Toto came few months ago, she felt threatened.

She fought for attention even though we did give her attention. I still played with her and even hugged her to sleep from time to time.

Over the few months, somehow, Lulu learned to perhaps like Toto a little bit. She began to approach him.

This made us appreciated her more - she was willing to share our attention and love with Toto.

My heart sank when I got back today and stupid sister announced to me that Lulu had passed away.

She had been sick for the past 3 days. We had brought her to the vet twice and still, she was not getting any better. We have tried so hard to nurse her to health but I guess sometimes things are just not meant to be.

We are really going to miss this beloved cat of ours so, so much.

Dearest Lulu, there will be no other cats in this world that could replace you presence in our hearts. We love you and thank you for every little thing that you have taught us during the 7 years you have been with us. Rest in peace, our dearest cat.

Made in China

It never really struck me before that I own quite a number of products be it beauty-related or non-beauty-related that are made in China. Yes, iPhone is made in China and some parts of Samsung products is also made in China. I don't have any issues to that but when it comes to skincare and cosmetics, I do have my preferences. Well... let's just say I prefer skincare products made in Korea.

I am not stating Korea has the best skincare and make-up products. It's personal preference, remember?

Honestly, I do own beauty related products made in China and no doubt, some of the products are my favourites. Take for example, NYX Cosmetics.

Everyone loves NYX Cosmetics because they are very affordable and best of all, some of the products even made it into magazines or runways.

Even the infamous Sigma Cosmetics has their products made in China as well.

The Paris Palette that I have is not cheap... it retails at USD$59 and yes, it is made in China. I know there are people who are really bothered with the issue, "If it is made in China, why is it so expensive?"

Even my favourite eyeshadow primer from MUA is made in China!

Will have a separate review on that later.

As far as I know, even though some of the products from big companies are made in China, these products need to go through certain examination and they need to meet certain qualifications to be able to categorized as 'safe' products since these products are not tested on animals. Well... we all pay for our safety, right?

Well... hopefully what I think is right.

So, I have no issues at all with that. It only struck me while I was still with a cosmetics company last year, a customer approached me and said, "I want to get any skincare that is not made in China." 

I was surprised because obviously, he entered an all-Korean skincare outlet and wanted something that is not made in China. Then, it struck me suddenly when he said, "I used to use Hada Labo before I realized all products from Hada Labo are made in China. China has the highest rate of animal testings and their products are not safe to use!"

My colleagues and I were surprised because honestly, when I buy something, I never bother to check where it is from. So, that taught me a lesson. No, I am NOT indicating China-based products aren't good but well, let's just say we have our own preferences.

Okay, let's not debate on whether or not we should buy made-in-china products and shift our attention to what happened to BFF and I last week.

I went out with BFF for our cosmetics shopping at KLCC the other day when BFF went to Guardian Pharmacy to check on some products. Somehow or rather, we were talking about Bio-Essence products when the Bio-Essence promoter approached us. We had this very disturbing attitude and conversation with her when BFF asked her if Bio-Essence products are worth the prices and if they are good.

Well... for sure the promoter will promote her brand to death because that is what she does for a living. When BFF mentioned about 'made-in-china' and 'if the products are safe' topics, her expression changed. She started bombarding BFF with her who-do-you-think-you-are attitudes and condemning BFF.

Hey, hey, hey... I was there too and I saw the way she promoted Bio-Essence. No, she wasn't friendly to us. She talked to us as if we were inferior and that we would not afford to buy her products. Hey, c'mon, we are using SK-II, Clinique, Bobbi Brown and a lot other brands that are obviously NOT made-in-China, so who did she think she is to talk to us like that?

Yes, I am quite paranoid about what I put on my face so, my skincare products are NOT made in China. I always have in mind a deformed face so, I don't want that to happen to myself or people around me.


I had the urge to throw her out of her position at that point of time. BFF was just being nice and asking if the product really does what it claims that this was what she got. WTF is wrong with the promoter from Bio-Essence? Her attitude got on my nerve when she said stupid stuffs that she thought we didn't know like this, "Do you actually know what world we are living in now? Everything is made in China. Even your iPhone and Samsung are made in China. L'Oreal has the biggest manufacturing factory in China and countless other products that you may put onto your skin are made in China."

Bitch!

I do not put made-in-China skincare products onto my face nor will I condemn made-in-China skincare products. I don't think I am standing in the position to criticize or condemn these products just because I don't use them.

Hey, getting the made-in-China topic out of the context, is that how a promoter should treat her customers?

The thing that really made me angry was that when we went to other counters, that bitch of a promoter actually dragged her colleagues and finger-pointing BFF and I while gossiping. Hey, I am not blind, okay?! I saw everything. Even if she wanted to bitch about us, she could do so when we have left the place and not dragging her colleagues around and bitched about us in a secretly manner. That was just so unprofessional of her!

I told BFF from then on, I am going to condemn Bio-Essence products because of that bitch of a promoter who is so unprofessional and judgmental. I don't even know why Bio-Essence would hire someone like her - she is going to make Bio-Essence going doink with her attitude!

I certainly hope what other promoters from other brands know what they are doing. If they are dealing with a difficult customer instead of BFF and I, well... let's just say, "Bitch, good luck!"

Nay, nay, nay!

The fact is - I am uber angry now. In fact, I am furious!

I have this thought lingering around for a while now. I have been getting remarks like, "OMG, you're a student from UM, you must be super smart!" "UM is top university in Malaysia, your parents should be so proud of you!" 

Let me just be honest once and for all.

For 4 years being with UM, I have never felt so humiliated, disgraced and dissatisfied.

Best education, maybe but best administrative staff, nay, nay, nay, nay, NAH!!!

I was supposed to be happy that I am graduating next Tuesday but honestly, I am NOT!

You know what happened?

All thanks to UM, I may not be able to join my graduation ceremony because they distributed the WRONG hood colour to me!

I mean, WTF?!

It's their job to make sure all the robes and hoods are correctly and accurately distributed according to faculty but what the heck happened?

The thing that I was angry most was that, the computer system was working fine when I arrived at examination hall but when it was my turn, the system just went DOWN, DOWN, DOWN! I basically stood there and waited for a good 10 minutes but the system wasn't back so, everything had to be done manually!

When I was asked which faculty I was from, I told them and double confirmed. One of the staff passed me a bag of attire and told me to check. True enough, I did check but bad thing was I couldn't make out the colour of the hood because I have no friends who are graduating with me. I couldn't even check online because my previous laptop was stolen. I was left laptop-less for 2 freaking months!!!

How can this actually happen to me? What kinda luck am I having?

I couldn't surf the internet properly as well because you know, internet connection in Sibu sucks big time! Yeah, partly, thank you TM, for the 'wonderful' internet service! I had to resort to phone calls but all those UM staff who answered my calls were, I am sorry to say this but, retards.

What is so difficult to provide me the information?

Instead of assisting me, they directed to all sort of different departments. I even ended up called Faculty of Dentistry - what the heck, UM, what the heck? I am graduating, I am not asking to seek a dentistry advice!

If the problems can be solved, I wouldn't need to waste a total amount of RM30 on phone call from Sarawak to KL just to inquire and in the end, I got nothing!

ZERO!!!

NADA!!!

I had to keep on calling my friends to check online for me because again, hello, TM, your service was so sucky that I couldn't even surf using my mobile!

I shan't talk about then but what the hell should I do now? I don't know if I can get the colour of my hood exchanged or not on Monday morning. I certainly hope someone would be able to guide and help me right now because I feel dumb - very dumb.

This is actually the second time I feel myself being really dumb. First was when I was bombed by my supervisor every time I met her due to my thesis. Every session lasted about 3 to 4 hours straight - imagine being bombed... what would you feel?

Yeah, dumb - like, how can I be so stupid not to be able to do what my supervisor wants?

Now, second time being a dumbo - collecting attire also I made a mistake.

WTF!!!

Please pray for me that I would be able to get my hood changed tomorrow or Monday morning, people. I sincerely need a lot of love and prayers now.

I don't want to miss my graduation because I know my parents wanna be there so much...

Not so much of a drama queen

A friend once told me, "Angel, your life is freaking dramatic - it's just like, you're in a drama! How do you feel being the leading actress?"

Erm... drama is like, totally out of my league because first and foremost, I never thought my life is dramatic or anything. Regarding my feeling as a leading actress - neutral. I lead my life my way and that doesn't make me any drama queen because I don't yell and scream, "Look at me, I'm putting on a show!"

It is just that, lady luck is never with me when it comes to love and relationships. 

Today, I do have a confession to make. If you are my new readers and you don't know one of the facts about me, well, here you go...

Don't worry, I am really not a drama queen and better still, I'm way past my teenage years!

Every year, when September comes, my mood is very much affected even though so many years have passed since those good old days. It's not that I want to think about him especially when he is getting married soon but his bride isn't me. I guess I shall be remembering September the 13th each and every year for God-knows-how-long.

Mum has been asking me quite a number of times that if I were given a chance to be with him once again, would I choose to walk that path or the path I am walking now.

Seriously, I never thought about her question... maybe I am just ignorant because I chose to run away from reality. When reality sucks, I am sure none of you wanna know it, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yada, yada, yada, complain all you like - I know reality is a bitch and even though I ran away, I am still very much aware of what has taken place so, I am not so much of a coward after all.

Okay, as of mum's question, if I were given a chance to be with him again, my decision is still to walk away. I don't want to have anything to do with him. Lemme just tell you why I am glad we did not end up together despite him, being a girl's dream guy.

1. Irresponsible
   I was dumped at the KTM station and left there to rot at 12am where there were hardly any cabs to hire when he promised to pick me up but chickened out because he went to play badminton with his friends instead. Then, he never even bothered to check if I got to my friend's place safely.
   
2. Jumping into conclusion
   Okay, heartbreaking piece, "What kinda friend are you to bitch about me in front of your friends? Why did you even use foul words to describe me?" A piece of truth - I did not use foul words nor did I bitch about him in front of my friends. I said he was an idiot because he chose to trust someone who he had only known for 3 days instead of me, who had known for 3 years.
   
3. Assuming, "I am right, you are wrong."How about a speech that goes like this, "Sometimes, being good-looking is a curse. Maybe it's because I am quite good-looking that you've been pursuing me. Am I right?" I got a fright of my life trying to figure out how to answer that retarded question of his. I mean, yeah, I used to be so into him but did he need to be so straight forward?
   
4. I am not Mr. Perfect but I want you to be Miss Perfect
   Honestly, this is the reason I hated most about him. He told me not to do this or that because it was wrong if I were to do so but in the end, he was the one ended up doing so. His excuse was simple, "I cannot control myself."

Look at it this way.

Nobody is perfect nor do anyone want anyone to be perfect. My philosophy of life is as simple as A-B-C. If you demand me to be little Miss Perfect, I would almost demand you to be more than just Mr. Perfect. Let's put it this way.

If I were to get married to a guy who tells me, "I don't like fat girls because I am a perfectionist."

My answer would be simple, "Okay, I will stay slim and slender but after marriage, don't let me see your beer belly peeking through. If your waistline goes beyond 32, I will freaking divorce you because I am more just a f-ing perfectionist!"

Get what I mean?

You have your expection and I have mine - if you want a relationship to work out, respect each other! This doesn't only apply to relationships alone, even in friendships too!

Aih... why do I get so worked out?

Whatever it is... I am trying my best to forget this very day so... wish me luck for next year!

Once and for all

My mood right now - agitated and angry.

This entry is not gonna anything related to make-up, beauty or health. I'm a typical human being just like you all and I do have my ups and downs in life. 

Initially, this trip back to my hometown was not intended to be so long. One of my main intentions was to meet Sam. I did not know whether or not I would be able to bump into him but I took a shot. Erm... Sam and I have a lifetime stories growing up seeing each other as well as watching each other transform while being where we are today.

Honestly, one of the reasons why I am staying single after my previous relationship is because of Sam. I wanted to give both of us a well-deserved chance because we the chance to be together 9 years ago. Yes, 9 years is such a long time that none of you could ever imagine. 

Another reason is that, Sam is attached to a girl already and I do not wish to become the reason he breaks up with the girlfriend. I want nature to takes it's course, so, all these times, I keep a low profile as possible if we were contacting each other. Sometimes, I think I am the dumb one because I know he is attached but I do have a little bit of feelings for him especially after knowing how he feels towards me as well. I am scared because I'm not someone who would go after an attached or married man.

Before I came back, I told Sam I would be visiting Kuching for a day or two and he was thrilled and promised he would be taking a few days off to accompany me. I was happy and felt appreciated because never in my life had a guy taking leaves to be there for me. 

I was happier a week ago when he suddenly came back for Raya holidays. He said it was sudden because he did not plan on coming back. When he sent me a SMS saying he was on his way to my place at 12am, my heart dropped. I couldn't believe what I read. He had just taken a 7-hour ride back from Kuching and all he thought was dropping by my place for a visit? How can a typical girl like me feel not appreciated, right?

We met up the next day and that was the first time he came into my house to greet my parents out of courtesy. I couldn't feel more than happy. Just before he left, I jokingly asked, "Hey, Sam... we have only seen each other for less than an hour. Is it enough? Do you wanna see me again before you leave tomorrow?"

He stared at me with those eyes that would melt any girl's heart and told me, "I want to see more of you but I can't stay longer because I need to go shopping with my mum and grandma. Do you wanna join us?"

I was like... oh, okay, he asked me to join his mum and grandma for some shopping spree. For a moment, my heart stopped beating but in the end, I declined because I wasn't as courageous as I thought I could be. At the same time, the thought of him, still attached to his girlfriend, made me feel bad, so... I did not go out with him.

Well, everything else seemed pretty insane because talking to Sam over the phone after he returned to Kuching was dreamy and all that but those moments did not last long until we had quite a mind-boggling argument regarding what we are going through. He sent me a SMS about a week after his trip back home, telling me that he had broken up with his girlfriend.

I did not even think he would be courageous enough to do so because all these times, the Sam that I knew was a little... you know, obedient. When his girlfriend started to cry or taunt, he would give in. Honestly, I don't like girls like that and I am certainly not a girl who would sit on the floor and cry like a baby.

Two years ago, Sam told me the same thing that he had broken up with his girlfriend and that he felt a heavy burden being lifted. At that time, I wasn't feeling anything because I thought I had nothing to do with his break up and that whatever he was doing, they were not my concern. So, it was only 3 days later, he called and told me that they got back together. I went like, "WTF?! I thought you are tired of this relationship?"

He admitted that he was indeed tired of a bossy girlfriend that ordered him around and expecting him to move over to KL, into her place, staying with her mother.

Let's face it. If you are a guy and your girlfriend demands, "You cannot go back to Sarawak because I want you to move to KL and stay with my mum. I am the only child, so you have to understand my situation. I have a mother to take care of and since you are my boyfriend, you have to move to KL because Sarawak is too ulu and I don't like it there."

Guys and girls, if you are a fellow Sarawakian and people put you down just like so, how would you feel?

I don't hate Sam's girlfriend but I merely dislike her attitude of looking down at Sarawak and it's people.

Then, I got to know the reason they got back together was because the girl threatened to commit suicide if Sam did not return to her and that if she dies, Sam would need to take care of her mother.

Talking about nonsense, that girl is rubbish!

If I were Sam, I would dump her for good - psychotic bitch!

This time around, when told me he had broken up with the girlfriend for the second time, I doubted that would really be for good or not. Stupid sister was telling me, "I can play a bet with you - 3 days! Within 3 days Sam will go back to her psychotic girlfriend."

I told stupid sister not to tell silly jokes and bet on stupid stuffs.

Night fell... it was a little over 12am, about 3 hours later, when I got another message from Sam - that was less than 3 days bet as being placed by stupid sister. It read something like this...

"She called back and cried. She wants to get back together."

At that point of time, I was a little angry. I was angry at Sam. I knew I was not in position to be angry but he shouldn't even told me about the whole break-up story if it wasn't decided.

What are all these nonsense about breaking up, threatening and getting back together? Just because she knows how to cry and make life-threatening stories so Sam should get back together with her?

I couldn't stop wondering too...

What is wrong with the psychotic bitch and also Sam? Am I a toy for Sam to just lift the burden his girlfriend put on him temporarily?

I shall quote from Princess Jasmine of Aladdin, "I am not a toy to be won!"

I replied his message like this...

"I don't know what in the world you're trying to do and I am not interested whether or not you are breaking up for good. It's your decision and I don't want to know anything."

His answer was...

"Why are you angry? I still haven't decide yet."

By that time, I was more furious...

"I don't like it when you are giving me false hopes. I thought you would be serious this time around especially about US. In fact, when you told me you've broken up and I am the first one to know, I was over the moon and now, you're disappointing me!"

Perhaps, he was trying to get away from more problems and said...

"I'm having headache - drank too much. I'm heading to bed."

My last message to him was...

"All I know is, I don't like indecisive guys and I don't plan to know what you wanna do! Good night!"

He did reply but with an unhappy emoticon.

Who cares?! I was already feeling so disappointed with him. Think of it, first time trying to break up, the girlfriend threatened him that she would commit suicide. Second time trying to break up, committing suicide again?! WTF?!

Friends around me have been telling me that if the psychotic bitch wanted to really end her life, she would have taken her life by now and not clinging on to Sam.

Whatever it is, I don't give a damn about what they're going through. It is not my problem anyway and I don't intend to get together with a guy who disappoints me over and over and over again.

As complicated as my love life would be, I think I deserve better than Sam. 

Return, without a 'bang'!

As promised, I will be getting back on blogging track as soon as I get a new laptop and here I am now, blogging with a new laptop that is not mine but well... temporarily mine. LOLX!

If you are wondering why, my house was broken into my some asshole of thieves the day I got back home from KL and those bastards practically took everything. Yes, when I've said everything, it includes my traincase full of makeup as well as all my skin care products I've just bought from Clinique and Lancôme. Imagine how could I not gone weak on my knees when I got home from the church that very night and saw my living room in a mess with my stuffs gone. All my precious pictures in my laptop and external hard disk were gone too, thus, I was unable to even blog about it.

The whole experience left me really upset and moody because I treasure all my stuffs, laptop and pictures! All these years of memories were gone because of those assholes! I curse them. Yes, right, I really do curse them and their descendants that they'll all die ugly deaths! Do not blame me for cursing them because they even took the earrings my late grandmother left for my mother. You tell me, if you were me, how would you feel?

Whatever that is, I don't really want to know except that these people deserve to have their limbs amputated for stealing.

Anyway, thanks to these suckers, I have to spend a fortune to get new make-up and also skin care products. The downside to it, although I get to buy new products, I can no longer afford branded skin care or make-up products. FML!

I only had RM500 in my possession the day I went out to get new stuffs because a lot of brands I am using are not available at my hometown and I do not want to pay extra to ask people to post these stuffs back to me since postage would be hefty!

So, I picked up whatever that are available and I practically spent like RM474 on all the stuffs you see in the picture below.

Definitely not everything that I need but since I desperately needed make-up products for my BFF's wedding, I had to get something. I figured out I didn't wanna spend too much on irrelevant products this time around so, I ended up getting only those products I am familiar with and have been using. This includes products I have been loving exception for the new Shiseido liquid foundation and brush.

I have been raving the Shiseido foundation brush for quite some time after reading Paris B's review on it a few months back. I had no plan on getting one back then because I had my trusty ELF foundation brush but since I no longer had it, I wanted to get a really good brush that is worth every penny.

Anyway, that is a story for another day.

Aside from that, since Lioele Malaysia is having it's grand opening sales, I dropped by because of the 10% discount as well as freebies!

They gave away freebies worth RM88 with every purchase of RM100. LOLX!

Best of all, these freebies come with really cute and pink carry-around cardbox - I am a sucker for cute and illogical packaging!

I bought a concealer and also shimmer base. The lip pencil belongs to stupid sister. At present time, I am hooked to my Revlon Lip Butters so, other lip products may have to wait a bit.

Wanna take a peek what is inside the cute freebies' box?

Here you go!

In total, I've spent more than RM600 to get these products and I've yet to get any decent eyeshadows or primers. I guess I would have been a dead cow by the end of this month because my current skin care products are going to be used up in half month or so and FML, where the hell am I gonna find so much moo-lah to buy new stuffs?

Stories of interviews

Honestly, I am not someone who adores complaining, complainers or complainees but I do notice that I have been complaining quite a lot recently. Life is already bad and I can still sit down and complain to others.

The other day, I went for an interview at one of the prominent advertising company, I came home with my sky crashing upon me. That was the company I've been wanting to join since 4 years ago. My first application was rejected. I wasn't quite affected that time because I thought I should get over my masters degree first. This time around, I was asked for an interview. I went there with high hope that I am going to like everyone and everything in that company.

As soon as I stepped into the company, I felt like a stranger. Where is that warm and friendly atmosphere people had been talking about? Nada, nada, nada... nobody even said hi or anything. I waited for maybe a good 2 minutes and then, the HR Executive came out of the office and told me to wait.

Okay, I waited for maybe 10 minutes or so before I went into the interview room.

I was requested to do a 5-minute presentation. No big deal, I got it.

The next thing that shocked me was, only 3 questions were directed to me and not more than 10 minutes, the interview was over.

I mean, WTF?!

I travelled to their office for 45 minutes, paid RM10 for parking fees and then, 10 minutes interview with 3 questions? What the hell is wrong with them?

Further more, I was supposed to attend that interview 2 weeks earlier but according to the HR person, the director wasn't around, so, interview has to be postponed. When I went for the interview after the delay, hey, no director?!

If you wanna know, these are the 3 questions she asked me.

1. What do you know about the company and why do you wanna work for us?

2. What is your expected salary and when is the soonest you can start working?

3. Do you have any questions for me?

After those questions, it was buh-bye.

Heck... my thoughts on the company changed like 360 degrees after that. I thought to myself, hell, I don't wanna work for them. No matter how glamorous the company might seems from the outside, whosoever that is handling the HR jobs, no, they are not professional at all.

Now, I want to thank God that I didn't join their company 4 years ago and also yes, now!

Another story is that I went for an interview at another place and when I entered the interview room.

"The position you are applying for is XXX, right? I am very sorry but the position has already been taken yesterday."

I sat there and felt shitty. Yes, position was taken and why the hell did you ask me to go all the way to your company for nothing. They called me last week and told me to attend the interview and when I was there, what the hell was wrong with them?

Further more, it was worse when the interviewer said, "However, there is another opening as admin staff but your expected salary of RM3K is too high. Is it negotiable?"

I was already feeling WTF and they made it worse. The interviewer told me to go below RM2.5K.

If I were to spent 7 years of my youth to get 2 certificates and earn RM2.5K, why the hell would I want to waste my time studying?!

I do come to understand experience counts but have I no experience?

Grrr... I get agitated whenever I discuss about certain interviews!

Sticks and more sticks!

So, it's officially 11.11.11 and well... nothing special but I call it, Day of the Sticks.

Hahaha... The reason is simple, look at all the number one-s... they look like sticks! So, if sticks come in a bundle, fret not even if you're not attached or anything because for sure you know, you have the company of wonderful people around you!

Remember to thank God on this day that you're not a steak because steak is served in one piece per plate, hence being a steak is lonelier than being sticks. Hahaha.

Therefore, I've spent my day, fretting over this...


Yes, I was bitten by goddamn insects and the itchiness and pain got transmitted all over my legs and thighs. Fuck those insects!

Anyway, to divert you away from my ugly legs... I'm gonna show you one of my pictures taken at Empro Roadshow at Midvalley last weekend.


Not my best or slimmest picture but nevertheless, I like it.

Have a great weekend, people!

The green hornet - not!

Argh... I've been procrastinating in keeping my blog updated lately. I know, it's my fault but I have really been busy with work and also studies that have completely swallowed my personal and private moments with family, friends and also my fellow readers.

Still, I thank you with all my heart that there are still people reading, following and emailing me. Yes, I appreciate all your kind thoughts and words.

I do go through each comment and email, so, to this particular girl, Angeline, here's a shout out for you! I have visited your blog and glad to know you're a Sarawakian as well!

Lately, my life hasn't been smooth, a lot of disastrous dramas and issues came about. Yeah, I broke with Dr. Wong, been going through series of pain after the sudden breakup, having parents nagging over my youngest sister's issues, not being able to find time to just sit down and relax, getting news that Mr Dimples is gonna leave Malaysia for good and going through stupid communication breakdowns and arguments with my boss!

Now, you tell me, how many of you actually can go through so many things at once?

Stupid sister was telling me, "Your last resort is - alcohol!"


I should have killed stupid sister but nah, Heineken isn't my cuppa tea. Mr. Dimples was right, Tiger tastes much better than Heineken.

Lemme tell you what happened...

Earlier, when I first started out working at my current place, the boss was really nice to me so, when she asked if I would want to find a boyfriend, I told her jokingly, "Yeah, find me a doctor."

Then, little did I know, whatever I've told her was using to blackmail against myself. She went to her partner, who is the second boss, and told her, "Angel is jealous of you - you married a doctor but she couldn't find a doctor boyfriend. You're classmates but you're her boss now, so, she's envious that she hates you."

I mean, what the fuck is going on with her and her brain?

I am not envious that this partner of her who is also my classmate cum boss married a doctor. I mean, what's the point of being envious? I have my own ups in life that people are envious of too and of course what comes around goes around like karma does!

Then again, sometimes, the way how she talks to us really makes my blood boils. Yes, we are working for her but then, does she realize we are also human beings like feelings and emotions? It was too much of her when she went to another colleague and told her that I planned to brainwash that colleague of mine.

Hey, if I could brainwash anyone, I wouldn't be sitting here, working for her. I should become an infamous psychologist by now!

I've decided I couldn't tolerate this SHIT any longer so, I tendered my resignation! This job has completely taken most of my personal time and seriously, I have no time to even go out for social events at all. The job starts at 10am and almost every night, we'd work until 9pm. By the time I reach home after dinner, it'd be 11pm.

Now, you tell me, is this life crazy or what?!

Fancy saying I am a green-eyed monster!

FHL!

Then again, aside from work, all of a sudden, my supervisor from UM contacted me and I was pushed to finish my thesis by December 2011. Darn... 2 more months to December 2011 and yes, I regret for procrastinating too much earlier. If only I could be more hardworking like Ms. Soo and Ms. Gao, I've already graduated!

There goes the remaining of my free time and time to get to know a new boyfie in a week!

Talking about being happy, so, am I happy with my life in current state?

Dumped by boyfriend, family and financial crisis, unhappiness at work, pressures in doing thesis and bla bla bla... how do you expect me to be happy?

I am very unsatisfied with my current life to have to tolerate with these inconsiderate people around me!

My name may be Angel but I am no angel!

Sick and tired of being sick!

FML!

My body finally has decided that I am unable to take all the sudden turmoils and shocks any longer that it gave up on me last week - thus, I am sick.

It has been like more than 1.5 years since I last fallen sick and now, I am sick of being sick! I've been to the doctor's twice since Monday and believe me, you won't like it at all unless that doctor is your boyfriend or husband! I spent a lot of moo-lah because I'm down with dry cough, tonsillitis, fever, sore-throat and also flu.

FML, FML, FML!

Due to all the sicknesses, my ears are blocked to the point that I can't hear everything clearly and stupid tonsillitis and sore-throat have caused muteness to me!

How on Earth did all the sicknesses come together as one? OMG... This isn't fun at all!!!

I am sick and tired of being sick!

Oh, God, when can I be completely healed? I still need my job and all!

Life as it is...

I really hate to admit it but some times, life doesn't revolve around me. There are other people involve in the whole progress of learning what life is all about, hence, you will expect heartbreaks after heartbreaks.

I finally come to the term that no matter how hard I've tried to be a perfect daughter, I never will be. Among three of us, my parents put the highest hope, pressure and expectation on me. Ever since I was little, they expected a lot from me and honestly, until this very day, I am still feeling the pressure but what can I do?

Life has never been easy on me ever since I was little. I grew up as the fat girl next door, being jeered and looked down at. When I was in the growing up phase where all my female friends got into relationships with their dream guys, I was being thrown about because nobody appreciated me for who I am. All those talks about how special I was on the inside were mere craps!

Nobody ever know how I've cried myself to sleep or how I've to stand up on my feet to deal with all the heartbreaking surprises life has for me. It is true that things that don't kill you make you stronger because whenever I feel myself growing stronger, more issues seem to approach me, refusing to let go.

Regarding not being able to be a perfect daughter, at the same time, I think I can't be a perfect sister to both my brother and also sister. I am feeling torn in between where the parents are expecting me to settle all the crappy bullshits that my brother and sister have created.

Am I God or something?

I am not complaining but the fact is, this is way too much than what I can handle!

I am yet another typical human being with feelings and right now, I am feeling all the pressures building inside me. I can't breathe, I can't concentrate and I can't stay focus!

I wish I could just be dead at the moment I'm blogging all about it.

Talking about having someone with you to share your ups and downs with, dear God, why is that someone not here yet? I'm almost dead from all the torments and as much as I wish I could be a perfect daughter and sister, there are still things that are out of my comfort zone and thereafter, I will be brushing my hands off these brother-sister issue once and for all.

The thing about siblings...

You know how it is when you fell so hard for the first time and all along, your siblings were there to catch you so that you would not even be hurt even if you fell from the highest spot on Earth?


People used to wow when they saw the three of us, as in my elder brother, my younger sister and I, went out together for a day or night out. Between my brother and sister, I would honestly say, I used to be really close to my brother although we did argue and quarrel over the pettiest stuff you could never imagine!

Yes, over who would be the first to use the bathroom the moment we stepped into house from school, over who would have the last piece of fried chicken on the dining table, over the issue of watching Barbie instead of Sailormoon, over who won a fight and over a lot of things none of you could ever imagine!

Well, mum and dad got irritated of us and after quite some time, they totally just let us be. I remember the moment my brother left for USM to further his studies. When I was sending him off at the airport, I felt heavy-hearted - I knew there'd be less chance for us to argue because going to university means that you're ready to step into adulthood. I wish I could stuff myself into his luggage and flew to Penang with him but of course, that wasn't meant to be.

Even so, whenever every year's semester break came, I looked forward to it because my brother would always bring back some treats for me and stupid sister.


Three years later, it was my turn to go to university. Even though I didn't end up in USM with him, I did visit him at Penang occasionally. I remember, once I was down with food-poisoning after dinner, my good ol' brother went out and searched high and low for medication in the middle of the night because I was groaning in pain. There was even a time when I was so, so sick that he had to rush from Penang to KL just because I wanted him too! See... my brother spoilt me way too much!


Every time when people around me asked about my brother, I wouldn't be hesitant to tell them how wonderful he was just because not all elder brother could make sacrifices like how my brother could.

I have to admit that I am not someone with the best temper. It does seem difficult to make me angry but when I am angry, I tend to burst it out, all at one go. I am the kind of person who will keep all the petty stuffs to myself in the first place and through time, all these angers multiply. Unfortunately for both my brother and I, both of us possess similar trait and because of this trait of ours, we ended up with quarrels after quarrels but for always, he would be the one to come to me with all the nice words and some times, even presents so that I won't be angry at him for long.

I guess those were the days we all of us were still close to each other but through time, even though I hate to admit it but people change. This little fact applies to each and everyone of us, including my brother and I.

Our lives changed the moment my brother moved to KL and I moved in with him. Well, all fairy tales end and thereafter, come realistic and materialistic tales but never would I have guessed that in my life, I am not that person who falls from the highest spot on Earth by accident but I was being pushed to hell by my own blood-related brother!

All the angers that have piled up over the years finally burst because I really can no longer tolerate him. Okay, I may not be a perfect sister and I've never said I will be one but that doesn't give him the right to step on me just because he started earning for life already and I am still stuck with doing my thesis.

He might not have seen it when he labeled me as, lazy bum, but when I was working hard, did he see how much pain I've to go through? Did he ever has to feel the hardship of having to study and taking up 5 different jobs at one time? Did he ever has to work until 10pm and after which it was time to go home, you still needed to do your assignments until wee hour of dawn and sometimes, ending up not getting any sleep but traveling straight to workplace or university? Did he ever has to experience the feeling of having to bow down to your other siblings just because you need his help?

NO, HE HAS NEVER FELT ALL THE PAIN THAT I HAVE GONE THROUGH TO HAVE BROUGHT ME TO THIS WHERE I AM TODAY AND HE WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND HOW IT FEELS TO BE LOOKED DOWN BY YOUR OWN SIBLING JUST BECAUSE HE THOUGHT THE WORLD ONLY REVOLVES AROUND HIM!

I've never known my existence in the house has made him feel suffocated. I've never known I've made him felt threatened. I've never known that at the back of his mind, he's been scheming a plan so that both stupid sister and I would be moving out of our current place without having him to raise the issue.

Right... the reason that he has changed?

Initially, I thought it could be due to his stress at workplace but ever since April 2010, my brother has completely changed to someone that I have never expected him to be. When I first started taking up the job as part time lecturer at one of the local colleges in Kelana Jaya some time around May 2009, it was due to HIS PRESSURE that I did it because he promised I don't need to worry about not having transportation as he would be lending his car to me.

After a year or so, he told me, "From now on, you've to decide how you'll be traveling to Kelana Jaya from here because I will not be lending my car to you any longer since I need it for my own."

Suddenly, I was at a loss of words. It was like, all the times, I would drive to the college and suddenly, he was asking to dress up formally, carried my laptop and all the documentations and walk to the college? Hey, I wasn't a permanent staff at the college, hence, how the heck was I entitled for a free seat in the office? If I did not carry all the stuffs to and fro, where the heck should I store it since there wasn't even a tiny space in the staff room that was meant for us, the part-timers? I wasn't teaching only one students, okay? I have several classes to attend to and one student if they were to submit one assignment, by the time the number count stopped at 30, I would be dead from carrying their assignments back home!

Did he ever think on my behalf when he said that to me? Instead, what he said was, "That's your problem and I don't have the time to think for you. Further more, the car is mine, hence, if I need it, I have the priority!"

Imagine how I felt when he threw those words to me. Yes, he felt nothing but I felt something. In order to stand up for myself, I asked him, "Do you still remember the promise that you've made 2 years ago? You've said no matter what if I move in with you, you'll make sure I can travel to places I need and want to go with your car but now, you're backing out at your own promise? How am I going to travel out of my university especially if I have night classes?"

His answer was, "How would I know how you'd travel? That promise only valid 2 years ago and now it is not valid any longer."

For your information, my classes usually ended around 9pm and without your own transport, it was almost impossible for you to travel out in the darkness of the night. Walking to the nearest exit would take around 20 minutes or so!

Well, that is my brother for you.

It's like immediately, my heart sunk to the bottom of my feet when my own blood-related brother said those things to me. When I talked to mum about the issue, I just wanted mum to listen but little did I expect mum made it worse by calling and scolding him. I guess this raised his anger that he jumped to the conclusion that I was the culprit that did all the tell-tale to mum. He shouted at me so loud that his voice really shattered my heart into pieces! At that time, it was beginning of April 2010.

Hence, after that, my attitude towards him changed 360 degrees. Since he did not even try to talk things out with me and that was his choice, I obliged - what else was there to be discussed?

I stopped talking to him from then on until October 2010. In that duration of 6 months, so many things happened. I did not even try to borrow his car from him because I just wanna made it the way that he wanted it to be, "The car is mine, hence, when I need it, I've the priority!" Well, he wanted it that way, so why should I borrow the car from him? It was only sometimes that stupid sister needed the car, hence, she would go and pestered him for it like... twice every week.

In between, I did realize he tried to make up but I did not feel the need to because honestly, he made it so obvious that I was depending on him and his income when in reality, I did not. I earned on my own and he did not even realize it!!! Instead, whenever he called mum or dad, he would be backstabbing me in a way that he would tell the parents that stupid sister and I never helped him with housework and that we were lazy.

Okay, now how true could that be? I don't wish to comment but if he did think we were lazy, he should be thinking back - it was him who was lazy or were it us? So, the dried clothes on the hangers could fold themselves and the floor could sweep and mop themselves? Could it have been magic that the dirty dishes in the kitchen could clear themselves too?

Mum and dad even made it to the point to call stupid sister and me and scolded us for never helping around with the household chores. Ouch... that wasn't the reality but nevertheless, it wasn't important. I was disappointed, hence I just wished not to even discuss that issue with him. He could say whatever he wanted to and I didn't care.

I went back home to my parents on 21st of October 2010 and I did not even get him to send me to the airport because I just didn't feel the need to even talk to him since he did not even respect me as a sister. It was only on the 20th of December 2010, I returned to KL. I had yet to talk to him because I didn't feel the need to do so.

It was only until I wanted to help Jeremy that I finally had to talk to him. Why? Jeremy is the next best friend I have after Vince. So, I finally talked to him again after 8 months but I noticed something different about him - he was reluctant to talk to me and kinda ignored me even when I tried to ask him something.

So, I guessed it could be probably he was still mad at the fact that I did not give him a chance to explain what went wrong in April 2010, hence, I just let it be. I did not want to create more troubles. I tried to reconcile our brother-sister relationship by trying to be nicer, not because I was at wrong but it was because I thought we could still be like how we used to be in the good ol' days. Another reason was that I do understand the fact that sometimes, I needed transportation, so, I did not want to anger him.


Little did I expect, all the things I had done were fruitless and useless. Thing just got worse and I started to notice the obvious difference.

Whenever he went out, he would no longer ask stupid sister and I out together.

Whenever he bought something back for a meal, our shares were no longer there even though he did buy a share for his roomie.

Whenever he cooked something, it would normally meant for him and his roomie.

Whenever stupid sister and I tried to talk to him, most of the times, he would never even look at us in the eyes.

Whenever we wanted to ask for his advices and opinions, he would just pretend to ignore us.

Whenever we wanted to discuss something, the first phrase that would come out of his mouth would be, "Don't expect me to lend you my car, I will not do that!"

Okay, put yourself in my situation. If you were trying to talk to your siblings and he or she is physically there but ignoring you, would you be patient enough to just sit there and wait for him or her to respond? If this situation happens for once, perhaps, I could still tolerate but it happened several times already, in which, every time when I talked to him, he would act as if he didn't care.

Perhaps, he already hates me and stupid sister so much that he has decided to ignore us like totally. We did not know what the heck happened until 2 nights ago, we had the biggest argument in our whole life in which, EVERY LITTLE THING THAT HE HAS SAID HAS COMPLETELY PUT HIMSELF TO SHAME AND BROKE OUR HEARTS INTO PIECES THAT NO GLUE IN THIS WORLD COULD BRING BACK THE BROKEN PIECES!

So, all these times, stupid sister and I have been guessing hard what prompted him to change so much, all our guesses have been wrong!

Can you imagine how I felt when your own blood-related brother blamed you because he did not get a promotion? He shouted at me that it was because I borrowed his car so often last semester that he could not work in night shift and it made him did not get the promotion, thus I was the one to be blamed and I deserved to be treated so coldly because I was the reason that he failed to be promoted?


OMG... so all the times, the reason behind why he has been treating us like invisible is that I am the sole reason that he did not get the promotion he was supposed to get last year?

Okay, sounds great but has it ever cross his mind that he didn't get the promotion because of other issues? How can he be so sure I borrowed his car then? Why don't he just go and blame it on stupid sister or other people? So, all these while, he has been targeting me just because he thought I'm easily bullied?

Lemme tell you, I am not weak nor do I need to depend on you! I swear, one of these days, I'm going to make it big in this world and if the time comes, you can be sure, I won't even be addressing you as 'elder brother' any longer. I don't think I need a brother that is very demotivating, rude, disrespectful towards the younger siblings and think so highly of himself. Lemme repeat, no, I don't need a brother like that.

Readers, whosoever you are, do you know how it feels when your own blood-related brother refuses to stand up on your behalf when his friends humiliate you? Have you ever feel that before?

For once, I have and yes, thanks to my brother I've come across that experience - an experience that I will NEVER EVER forget this lifetime - the experience of being humiliated with him being on spot and did nothing. Obviously, it could be seen his friend was on in side when he kept on saying I was the one being disrespectful that a younger sibling shouldn't even raise his or her voice at the older sibling.

Listen, there is NO rules and regulation that younger siblings should never raise their voices and there is rules and regulation that an outsider like his friend doesn't have the rights to even open his mouth when we are in the mid of argument because his friend, has no blood-relation to the family! His friend is in NO position to even give comments such as, "I don't think your brother is at fault, you are at fault because if I'm in your brother's shoes, I'd hate it if my younger sister raises her voice at me."

Don't expect everyone to be like you. When I don't talk back, it doesn't mean I agree with you. When I don't reply, it doesn't mean you're right. When I keep quiet, it doesn't mean you've to rights to step on me.

When I am already talking back, I've already reached my utmost limit because all these times, I've been trying to control my temper no matter how my brother treats me or what he has said. Even if sometimes, I do feel like he shouldn't talk to us in a certain way, still, just because I need to travel around using his car, it doesn't give him the reason to look down on us!

Yes, can you believe that? His friend even told me that even if he is my brother, I cannot be dependent on him because I have to learn to be independent.

When I am asking for advices or suggestions, does it mean I'm not independent?

When I am asking for my brother to do something for me especially when I am busy, does it mean I am not independent?

When I wanna borrow his car to do something, does it mean I am not independent?

Even if I am not independent, his friend doesn't have the rights to even comment because the person I am dependent on is my own blood-brother and not the friend!!! He has no one to turn to but it doesn't mean I should be like him, having no one to turn to when I know I do have an elder brother around.

I daresay comparing myself to my brother, I am much more independent than him. I went through more traumas in life comparing to him.

I'm through a brother-sister relationship like that - I've completely come to the term that what that we've shared over the years from our childhood to adulthood, has completely be murdered by him. There will no return for every word that has been spitted out of his mouth, even the strongest superglue available is not able to glue back the shattered glasses.

Nevertheless, I'm glad I still have a sister to depend on.

From today onwards, there will only be two siblings - stupid sister and I.