Thursday, September 13, 2012

Not so much of a drama queen

A friend once told me, "Angel, your life is freaking dramatic - it's just like, you're in a drama! How do you feel being the leading actress?"

Erm... drama is like, totally out of my league because first and foremost, I never thought my life is dramatic or anything. Regarding my feeling as a leading actress - neutral. I lead my life my way and that doesn't make me any drama queen because I don't yell and scream, "Look at me, I'm putting on a show!"

It is just that, lady luck is never with me when it comes to love and relationships. 

Today, I do have a confession to make. If you are my new readers and you don't know one of the facts about me, well, here you go...

Don't worry, I am really not a drama queen and better still, I'm way past my teenage years!

Every year, when September comes, my mood is very much affected even though so many years have passed since those good old days. It's not that I want to think about him especially when he is getting married soon but his bride isn't me. I guess I shall be remembering September the 13th each and every year for God-knows-how-long.

Mum has been asking me quite a number of times that if I were given a chance to be with him once again, would I choose to walk that path or the path I am walking now.

Seriously, I never thought about her question... maybe I am just ignorant because I chose to run away from reality. When reality sucks, I am sure none of you wanna know it, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yada, yada, yada, complain all you like - I know reality is a bitch and even though I ran away, I am still very much aware of what has taken place so, I am not so much of a coward after all.

Okay, as of mum's question, if I were given a chance to be with him again, my decision is still to walk away. I don't want to have anything to do with him. Lemme just tell you why I am glad we did not end up together despite him, being a girl's dream guy.
  1. Irresponsible
    I was dumped at the KTM station and left there to rot at 12am where there were hardly any cabs to hire when he promised to pick me up but chickened out because he went to play badminton with his friends instead. Then, he never even bothered to check if I got to my friend's place safely.
  2. Jumping into conclusion
    Okay, heartbreaking piece, "What kinda friend are you to bitch about me in front of your friends? Why did you even use foul words to describe me?" A piece of truth - I did not use foul words nor did I bitch about him in front of my friends. I said he was an idiot because he chose to trust someone who he had only known for 3 days instead of me, who had known for 3 years.
  3. Assuming, "I am right, you are wrong."How about a speech that goes like this, "Sometimes, being good-looking is a curse. Maybe it's because I am quite good-looking that you've been pursuing me. Am I right?" I got a fright of my life trying to figure out how to answer that retarded question of his. I mean, yeah, I used to be so into him but did he need to be so straight forward?
  4. I am not Mr. Perfect but I want you to be Miss Perfect
    Honestly, this is the reason I hated most about him. He told me not to do this or that because it was wrong if I were to do so but in the end, he was the one ended up doing so. His excuse was simple, "I cannot control myself."
Look at it this way.

Nobody is perfect nor do anyone want anyone to be perfect. My philosophy of life is as simple as A-B-C. If you demand me to be little Miss Perfect, I would almost demand you to be more than just Mr. Perfect. Let's put it this way.

If I were to get married to a guy who tells me, "I don't like fat girls because I am a perfectionist."

My answer would be simple, "Okay, I will stay slim and slender but after marriage, don't let me see your beer belly peeking through. If your waistline goes beyond 32, I will freaking divorce you because I am more just a f-ing perfectionist!"

Get what I mean?

You have your expection and I have mine - if you want a relationship to work out, respect each other! This doesn't only apply to relationships alone, even in friendships too!

Aih... why do I get so worked out?

Whatever it is... I am trying my best to forget this very day so... wish me luck for next year!

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