Body shaming - the struggle is real

I was at Singapore not long ago to attend a job interview. I didn't inform my friends of my trip there because I didn't want to make a big fuss out of it if I don't get the job.

I'm going to do this - Mean Girls Edition.

Since the interview was scheduled to be at 5pm, I took a morning flight from KL to Singapore on the day itself. Due to unforeseen circumstances, my morning flight was delayed for an hour and I reached Changi Airport at around 1.45pm. It was quite nerve-wrecking because my initial schedule was perfect and because of the delay, somehow, my schedule was f*cked up.

After rushing through lunch, I actually thought of checking in into the hostel I booked but due to insufficient time, I had to drag my luggage all the way from Changi Airport to Novena. Yes, the interview was at Novena. The journey took approximately 45 minutes and by the time I reached my destination, it was already 4.10pm. I had to hastily get changed and prepared for the interview in less than 30 minutes. I ran over to C. Fitness after I have gotten ready and headed to the reception counter, telling the receptionist I have an appointment for an interview at 5pm. Instead of greeting me politely, the receptionist's facial expression totally put me off.

"Where's your working visa?" she asked me.

I was taken aback and answered politely, "Excuse me, I'm here for an interview - I need a job and in order for me to get my working visa, you guys have to hire me."

"No working visa, cannot work!" she replied.

At that point of time, I was a bit angry but I tried to keep my sanity. I was VERY clear to the person who sent me the job interview email that I am a Malaysian and currently based in KL. How on Earth can this rude receptionist demand for my Singapore working visa?

I repeated, "I am here for an interview."

Period.

My expression changed - I am not someone who could tolerate nonsense and idiots.

"You go there, you sit, you fill form."

I was thinking, "WTF! What kinda staff do this place actually hire?!"

It took me around 5 minutes to complete the forms. I handed those forms back to the receptionist and I was told to have a seat and the interviewer will be attending to me shortly.

I waited.

Waited.

Waited and waited.

30 minutes had gone by - that Mr. XXX finally came out to the reception and had the nerve to ask me, "Now who scheduled today's interview?"

I retorted, "You."

Obviously, it was him - why on Earth would I travel all the way to Singapore if I don't have any job interviews from any companies?

"Oh, you know what? You take a seat and I will come back to you in a bit," Mr. XXX told me.

At that point of time, I was annoyed. What kinda company C. Fitness is? How can someone scheduled the interview and totally forgot about it? Furthermore, I had to travel all the way from KL to Singapore for this kinda nonsense?

Fine, I guessed I had to deal with it - I waited again.

5 minutes passed by...

10 minutes were gone...

Another 30 minutes of waiting...

BITCH! I WAITED FOR THE INTERVIEW FOR 1 F*CKING HOUR! 

Never in my life had I met companies that treated interviewees like so - 1 freaking hour of waiting? No explanation or anything even after he showed up again? I thought C. Fitness is supposed to be customer service oriented now, how can they even have irresponsible staff like so?

Again, I tried to keep my sanity amidst of all the troubles I went through from the KLIA2 to C. Fitness in Novena.

Okay, here's the interesting part - the first thing Mr. XXX told me at the moment I sat down for the interview, "I'm sorry but the position of trainer has been filled."

I was ready to blow - what the f*ck was he thinking? I didn't go all the way to Singapore to be treated like a lower class person and I definitely do not deserve to be treated like that even if they didn't want to hire me. They should have informed me earlier if the position has been filled so that I didn't need to rush all the way to Novena for NOTHING!

I admit, I am a Malaysian and I am seeking a job opportunity in Singapore but we Malaysians do not go all the way to Singapore to be treated like dogs or servants. We have our integrity and we certainly do not deserve to be treated like that, C. Fitness.

Then, Mr. XXX further said, "You know what? We will be opening another trainer position in either March or April this year, why not you come back by then?"

BITCH!

After what I have gone through earlier, did he really think I would want to go back to C. Fitness again for another interview?

HELL NO!

"If you don't mind, we do have a position as a sales consultant. I'm not sure if it is going to interest you."

Hello, Mr. XXX, I didn't go all the way to Singapore just to get the position of a sales consultant. If I wanna do sales, I would just settle down in KL. I was thinking too, I could be mean too by telling him to go to hell because my parents certainly didn't send me to universities just to end up as a sales consultant. I am not looking down at sales consultants but I am seeking a job that is related to what I have been doing. I am not a good sales person and I never will be.

Of one question that really made me angry, "I'm wondering how are you going to travel from KL to Singapore on everyday basis if you get a job here?"

Bitch, please!

That was like the stupidest question I have ever gotten in my entire life! Now, have you seen anyone who travel from KL to Singapore on everyday basis just for a job, Mr. XXX?

As I was prepared to leave, he stopped me, "Since you're already here, why not do a body analysis? Who knows you'd stand a better chance to work for us?"

I knew it was nothing good but I went ahead because I wanted to know the result as well especially after all the CNY munching. When the result was printed, he sat me down and finally told me the reality that HE IS NOT HIRING ME but in the WORST WAY ever!

"Let's take a look at your body fat percentage here - 36.1% and that is way too high. In order for you to get the position as a trainer here, your body fat percentage has to be 23% or less. Let's do it this way - give yourself one month time, lose some weight, lose some fat and come back to us. You have my email so, keep me updated, okay?"

F*CK YOU SO VERY, VERY MUCH!

To someone who has spent more than 10 years of her life trying to lose weight, that was exactly the most shameful and disrespectful thing to be said ever!

All my life, I struggled to lose weight and only last year alone, my weight was at its lowest. I gained back my long lost self-confidence and then, Mr. XXX totally murdered it. If you don't intend to hire me, please be honest and just let me know that the position has been filled, there is no need for you to bring me down to my weakest and literally murder me.

If you're thinking it was my own fault to apply for the position of a trainer in a fitness center was my fault - did they even state the requirement in their advertisement?

Things like 23% or lower body fat percentage, fit, slim and slender should be in the advertisement!

Mr. XXX totally made me felt so ashamed of myself with my weight. I felt fat and ugly. My self-confidence was lost again.

People may tell me, "It's okay, you don't deal with Mr. XXX or other Mr. XXXs on everyday basis, so cheer up."

Do you actually know it affected me emotionally and mentally? For people who have been trying so hard to lose weight, this kinda body-shaming discussions totally murder them. I felt it at that point of time.

If I could lose weight within one month and my body fat percentage could be less than 23%, why would I be working with you? I would go into modelling, you idiot! I'm just a typical human being, searching for a job and the way Mr. XXX treated me was certainly not the right way to deal with people. Nobody deserved to be treated like that.

On the topic about going back after one month for another interview - whatever!

I am not interested in Mr. XXX or the company any longer. I may be better off searching for a job elsewhere.

One thing that I learned on that very day - there are people out there who will bring you down no matter how good you are.

The reasons I quit my job - Part 2

After much procrastination, I'm going to blog about part 2 of the reasons I quit my job. If you're interested, you can read about part 1 where I stressed on how important it is for a boss to treat his or her staff right.

In the entry, I am going to discuss more on issues related to management - the 7 deadly sins of bad management. I will relate some of my personal experience in my previous organization to these sins.

Now, the keyword is being consistent to each and every staff within the organization. When the organization is small, it is easy to be consistent but as the organization grows bigger, somehow or rather, one would notice the management being inconsistent. They begin to choose sides. If you're lucky and valuable to the company, the management will try to suck up to you. However, in my previous organization, even idiots get sucked up just because they have higher qualifications. 

The management failed to understand each staff is unique and despite the uniqueness, they have to be treated equally. If you begin to choose sides based on merely your race, religion and belief, sooner or later, you'll lose the staff.

The second deadly sin would be forgetfulness - where you promise your staff something and then, you forget about it. It doesn't matter whether it is done intentionally or intentionally. If you have the guts to promise the staff something, by all mean, you should carry out your promise.

My previous management promised a raise of above 4% of annual increment for all the staff during staff meeting but when we received our payslip, we had a shock - the increment was below 4% and on top of that they gave excuses like, "Oh, you're not the HOD and you haven't done as much as the others." Some of us even got an increment of less than 3%.

It doesn't matter if one particular staff is working his or her arse off or not. If you've promised something, do it! 

It is sad to say but sometimes the management is okay but there are certain people within the management who are selfish. These are people who play politics within the company. The reason for doing so is simple - to advance and to climb up the corporate ladder faster. These are the people who are selfish and they would care less about what would happen to others as long as they get what they want and what they think they deserve.

There were people who played politics in my previous organization. In fact, I was one of the victims. In order for this particular lady to get promoted, she began to back-stab everyone. Then, I was warned to not even wear spaghetti strap outside of the management. My idiotic boss told me, "Sometimes, if the management doesn't allow you to wear shorts, you are not allowed to wear it even outside working hours."

There is NO and WILL NEVER BE a one-size-fits-all thing. A bad management will never understand this because their mentality is to hire just one person to do everything. In a way, it's cheaper but they have never thought about the effect it may have on the company in long term and to the staff himself or herself.

My previous organization - hired someone from background A and expected her to do things related to background B, C and D. When the staff questioned the management, the management said, "In life, there is not perfection. I hire you and I expect you to be able to do all that."

They had never given a thought whether or not that particular staff would be able to perform given the field wasn't related to her first degree.

Complacency is yet another deadly sin of a bad management. It is when the company is overly pleased with themselves to be aware of what has taken place in the surrounding. 

What happened to me was - during a meeting, I remember my boss told us during a meeting, "Even if you quit, we have nothing to lose. It's easy for us to find someone to replace you." He made a mistake - yes, it is easy to find someone but it takes time to train someone. Soon, bosses of other departments began to use the same statement to staff who wanted to resign.

Positive part of it - staff leave and good luck in finding the right person who would stay.

Training should be conducted to all staff from time to time to ensure staff are well exposed to the new things or technology in each field. Information should be shared to everyone within the organization without choosing sides - that is opaqueness. You do not choose whom you would share a piece of new information with.

When I applied for training, although my immediate boss approved my application, it was rejected the moment it got to the higher authority. That was the only time I appreciated what my previous boss did - to approve application to attend training. The reason given by the management for rejecting my application, "We would conduct an in-house training soon for all the staff."

Three months went by - there wasn't even news about the training. One day, when I called HR and inquired about the training, HR told me, "Oh, the training was conducted last month. I didn't see you signing up?" I was flabbergasted. There was an in-house training but some of us weren't even informed about it.

It is utterly important for the management to include praises if any staff has done well in his or her job. Sometimes, these staff just thirst for a word of 'thank you' or 'well done'. A bad management will never address appreciation to the staff but they will think that it is due to themselves that the company has been doing well. 

My previous organization - they kept all the praises and at times, they would even thank the wrong person. Imagine you were me, you did something but instead of getting a 'thank you', the praise went to another person who didn't do much. 

It was truly devastating for me to stay on in the organization. I was hurt mentally, threatened, ignored and totally being treated like I am an idiot. I didn't see how much they value my effort and work at all. I ended up resigning after 2 years of going through nonsense and bullshit.

At this point of life, I am happy - after I quit my job, I traveled a lot and came to understand a lot of things.

The reasons I quit my job - Part 1

Before you jump into conclusion and start pointing fingers at me, let me clarify few things:

1. I have never stated I hated teaching or educating others.
2. I have never stated I hated my previous job.
3. I have never stated other jobs are easy.

Read the disclaimers above before you pass your judgments.

True enough as an educator, I often get these kinda kind remarks from people around me:

"A teacher has high salary."

"It's so nice that you have so many holidays."

"Teaching is an easy task - you just need to go into the class and start blabbering."

Let me clarify the statements above.

First of all, a teacher doesn't have high salary be it you are in government or private sector. Those teachers who earn a lot are those who run tuition centers outside. They teach and earn at the same time.

Who on Earth made the statement that an educator has so many holidays? We are not students so, how are we going to enjoy all those school holidays? When your children are having their semester breaks or year-end holidays, we are still working our arses off. We have to travel to our institutions to carry out our tasks before the beginning of a new semester. To make the matter worse, we have so many examination scripts to mark when your children are enjoying their sweet time at home.

Which idiot thinks that teaching is an easy task that the only thing we need to do is just walk into the class and start teaching? We need time to prepare our teaching materials as well as teaching aids? We are not robots and we can't be pre-programmed to teach because your children differ greatly. Different individuals require different teaching approaches. Furthermore, we have to prepare lesson plans before the class. After class ends, we have a report to write as well.

Even when being an educator is not an easy task, I have to admit I love teaching. I love sharing my knowledge with others and best of all, I love to be able to stand on the stage and deliver my lessons.

Just for your information, I was a lecturer and my job required me to deliver lectures to foundation as well as degree students. The reason why I love lecturing more than teaching in primary and secondary schools is that the students that I deal with are adults and they pretty much understand what is right and what is wrong.

Some of you may ask, "If you love your job, why did you resign?"

I'm not sure about others but the sole reason of my resignation was due to my immediate boss. Let's call him Mr. Fearful, shall we? A lot of researches proved that the main reason why employees resign is due to fact that they have bad bosses or managers.

Throughout my two-year service with that institution, I have came to learn a lot especially on how Mr. Fearful handled his staff. I told myself that one of these days, if I ever have the chance to become a boss or manager, I will never repeat his deadly mistakes.

A boss inspires fear while a leader earns respect.

Two years ago, when I first joined the institution, I never paid too much attention to Mr. Fearful. All I knew was that he was our boss and we needed to respect him. I didn't thought much of him at all until one year later, he began to showcase his power.

It all started with threats and more threats. More than often, before he started a meeting, he would read out employment's terms and conditions before anything else. To him, it was a reminder but to those who were present during the meeting felt like he was trying to impose to others that he was the boss and nobody should go against him.

On top of that, I remember Mr. Fearful threatened us by telling the staff to resign if he or she wasn't happy with the job and that it would be as simple as A-B-C for him to find a new staff to replace the the resigned staff in his or her jobs.

A boss is impersonal while a leader is compassionate

Mr. Fearful often told us we had to learn to be more understanding towards another person but then again, from as far as I understood, he was more impersonal then compassionate. He often thought very highly of himself.

Once, he made this statement, "Sometimes, you have to choose between your family or your job."

What was he trying to imply? Was he trying to tell me if I were to choose my family over my job, I should resign?

A leader will listen and poisition himself in your situation but Mr. Fearful was expecting us to make decision exactly like his - eg. giving up his family vacation because of work.

A boss micromanages while a leader delegates

It did appear to me personally that Mr. Fearful always said, "I will delegate task to each and everyone of you." Correct me if I am wrong, when you delegate, your staff would have to agree with task delegated to him or her. Mr. Fearful would use the term 'delegate' but then again, it appeared to me that he was more towards micromanaging and staging everything on his own. Eventually, he would 'delegate' tasks to the staff.

A boss thinks of short term while a leader thinks of long term 

Mr. Fearful always thought it was easy to replace staff because everything on his mind was just, "You're not happy, you quit."

Little did he realize it takes time and effort to develop a staff. By replacing the staff from time to time, it could jeopardize the quality of education provided by the institution. Since he made the point it is easy to get a staff with a Master's degree or higher, easily, I guess he could offend people easily without considering how the whole thing could affect the organization in long term.

A boss behaves like a king while a leader is everyone's colleague

I do not remember if there was once Mr. Fearful actually mix and mingle with his staff unless there was free food and drink. Most of the time, he would only hang out with those of his friends who possess similar qualification as him.

To him, it could be nothing but in the eyes of others, he was merely looking down at the more younger and junior staff.

A boss focuses on process while a leader focuses on people

Honestly, from what I could remember, Mr. Fearful focused on getting the job done. Little did he realized that in order to get job done, you need your staff to fully support you. He focused too much on the process of getting his tasks completed thus, neglected the importance of maintaining a good relationship among the staff.

I do not remember there was even once he would show his empathy to his staff. Even in my issue, instead of trying to look at the bigger picture, he was telling me to understand his situation. Aren't you the boss? Aren't you suppose to reassure me that your decision is good and fair? Instead, he put me down by trying to threaten me and forcing me to choose between my job and family.

Honestly, after my previous experience of working under him, it scared the hell out of me of landing another job. Even after I quit my job, I had nightmares of him trying to threaten me. In worse cases, I would wake up with cold sweat because he tried to strangle me - he wanted me dead.

I was completely restless for 2 to 3 months after that.

Whenever people asked me about my work experience in that place where people deemed it's "prestigious", my only resort was to tell them that the place was good but the people in that place weren't as good as outsiders may imagine.

I am not stating all the superiors out there are bad. Indeed, I have met good ones who truly knew how to inspire and motivate others. I told myself, if there would be a day that I would become a boss, I will make sure I will not repeat Mr. Fearful's way of managing my staff.

Damage has been done - mentally.

Things I have learned at work

If you do not know yet, I have resigned from my job about 6 months ago and ever since then, life has been blissful. I am blessed to have chances to fly to several places despite not earning a single cent. Next month, I will be flying off to Seoul for another most anticipated trip. I have never felt so thankful in the past when I was still holding a job. 

Even people that I have met told me, "It's good that you have left that hell hole."

In fact, I do feel that the choice to leave that organization is by far the best decision I have made in my entire life.

Being in the organization for a full 2 years, I have to tell you all that it's more than enough. I know there are some of you who have been working 5 to 10 to 20 years with the same organization and I'm positive that you're going to tell me things like, "Oh, it happens in all organization so you've gotta crawl to learn to adapt."

My answer to your statement, "NO!"'

If crawling enables me to learn and to develop myself, I don't mind crawling but in my previous organization, I couldn't even envision my future at all. I have met too many idiots, two-headed snakes, ass-worshippers and so on - enough is enough.

Today, I am going to share with you, some of the things I have learned at work, hopefully to those of you who are reading this, you may benefit from it.

1. Possessing higher education does not make you a smarter person.

Seriously, up to this point of my life, even if I have a Master's degree, so what? There is nothing special with that piece of paper. However, there are certain people in the organization that behave like they have it all just because they have PhD. 

Remember, even PhD doesn't make you a smart person - learn to be humble.

2. Not everyone is fighting the same battle as you.

I know you are going to tell me to go with the flow but sometimes, I do feel going with the flow is going against my conscience when the flow is cheating another person. Why do I have to oblige when I very well know what other people is doing is wrong? 

Problems come when you have decided to go against them.

3. Not everyone is competent enough to hold their positions.

You may be a senior manager but then again, when your staff asked you a question and your reply is, "Eh, is there such thing? I didn't know about it! Too bad for you."

What the fuck is wrong with the HR for recruiting these kinda people to be managers or upper level management?

If you possess the qualification to be a manager, prove it! I'm not telling you to prove it by being an idiot.

4. Not everyone is your friend.

You may want to keep a low profile because backstabbers are everywhere. There are times people around you may seem like friends but think twice, they may be ones who are going to backstab you if you are not careful.

Learn not to tell everyone about everything. Learn to keep certain things to yourself. Learn not to talk too much too.

5. "Worshipers" are everywhere!

You have to bear with it. Sometimes, you will meet an idiot boss whom will mislead you but instead of correcting him, you will see people that goes like, "Oh, boss, you're very smart! We are going to follow you!"

So, if your boss is telling you to jump off the cliff just because he is an asshole, are you going to do so? Stop worshiping the ground your idiotic bosses or friends walk on.

6. There are differences between a "boss" and a "leader".

A leader leads while a boss orders around. You get the difference, right?

A leader will correct you if you're wrong but a boss warns and scolds you in front of everyone when you've made a mistake. 

A stupid boss will ask you to choose between your family or your job.

7. Threats will be thrown around if you do not comply to what your superior wants.

This happens when your boss doesn't get what he or she wants. 

"I don't care if there is no volunteer and if nobody wants to volunteer, I will randomly choose two of you to represent us and you are not allowed to decline."

Rings a bell?

Hello, boss, why not you volunteer yourself?

8. Courtesy may not always be available.

We all know we are paid to work but we are not well informed when people asked for help, there are no 'please' and 'thank you'. 

9. There will always be someone who is eyeing your position.

Face it - it happens everywhere. People wants your position even if they are not qualified. They will think of every possible way to throw you out of your position so that they could climb up and sit there comfortably.

10. Keep your life to yourself.

Do not, I repeat, do not approve friends at work. Do not update your personal life on facebook, instagram or twitter. It may stir the jealousy button and people may just report you.

Not happy? Eat on it.

There you go, 10 things I have learned at work.

I hope this entry will be able to help those of you who are going to be thrown in the working world.

Good luck!

The happy girl!

Happy International Women's Day!

It's supposed to be a happy day but somehow, I am saddened over the news of MAS Airlines flight MH370 from KL to Beijing lost contact from the radar at 2.40am this morning.

Let's pray for all the crews, passengers and their family members no matter where they are now.

Anyway, last week has been hectic - there were too many birthday celebrations - friends' and dad's.

Birthday cakes were great

I had some great companies and everyone was happy.

Not forgetting, food was great too!

All the pictures of the lovely food that we had taken make me salivate more...

Now, I am craving for the salmon and soft-shelled crab sushi!

No, I'm not pregnant, I am just craving!

Last week, there was a photoshoot for the university's website and because the shooting day fell on the same day as Ash Wednesday, I couldn't make it to make-up at home before headed to work since we woke up early for the morning mass.

In the end, I brought everything to my office.

 It took me 2 hours to put on my make-up that day. I guess throughout the history of me working here, I was wearing the thickest make-up on that day - plus falsies!!! Hahahahaha!!!

Anyhoo... finally, after searching high and low for the correct size, I have found my Nike Mary Jane!

I've been wanting this pair for the longest time and because outlets selling Nike shoes are limited in the town I am staying, it's so difficult to find a pair that is my size!

That's it for today - I'm gonna end this entry!

Have a great weekend and remember for #PrayForMH370!

Breathe, just breathe!

I have to admit - with my current workload and also the need to spend time on what I love to do, sometimes, I do find it difficult to breathe.

I do notice that I have less time to really blog about a lot of things in my life now. Even time spent on taking quality pictures of products has also decreased tremendously. No, no, no... that doesn't mean I will stop blogging - at least not for the time being. This is my interest and the only way I could let out if I were stressed.

Honestly, I get pretty annoyed when people who don't know my job label it as 'the easiest job with no worries or stresses.'

Believe me when I say, yes, I get that a lot from friends and relatives.

I beg to differ.

Put yourself in my shoes for a day and see what my day is like before telling me, "Your job is the best job because you get paid for doing easy tasks!"

However, I do not complain because this is indeed one of the jobs that I enjoy doing despite all the work and pressure the upper level gives.

Lemme just give you a glance at what my job is all about.

1. 1. I lecture but not teach because lecture and teach are basically two different concepts. During teaching, you can spoon-feed but you can't do so during lecture.
   
2. My working hour is flexible and that means I come and go as I like with the deal that I must finish what I need to do on that day.
   
3. Slides, baby, slides - those are the compulsory components in a lesson. It is not easy especially if you were asked to handle the courses that you have never dealt with before. I am the exact example of that - I was a Linguistics student and yet, I was being thrown to teach grammar and structure of English. That pretty much means I need to do a lot of reading. FYI, Linguistics and English Grammar and Structure are two completely different courses.
   
4. One lecturer will be assigned to handle around 3 to 4 courses max. It would be easy if the number of student is small but for my courses, since they are compulsory, I have to teach around 200 students every semester. Comparing to those who have smaller number of students, it is not fair.
   
5. Lecturers have to prepare assignments, progress tests as well as exam questions every semester. We have to submit these evaluation methods for vetting by Week 7 of each semester for each subject.
   
6. Contrary to what people believe - you can recycle your notes, slides and exam questions, we are told NOT to do so. Yes, I do understand in certain universities, this issue happens but we make sure our staff in the university does not commit this mistake. We are allowed to recycle everything but we have to make sure there is addition to that everything every semester. See what I mean? You don't get the same exam questions every semester, right?
   
7. Lesson plans are not easy to write - it is not like the typical primary and secondary schools' teaching plans. Ours are completely different. Furthermore, each faculty's teaching plan is different. I was assigned to lecture in two different faculties, hence, I have to be familiar with both teaching plans.
   
8. Lecturers get paid a lot - I am sorry to say that no, that is only a myth. Unless you are a professor for public university, then, you'll get paid a lot. If you are in a private institution, this rule does not apply. Thus, I conclude that I am not even close to being rich.

So now, for those of you who think my job is easy, you can re-figure it again.

I guess I'm gonna stop here for this entry. I need to take some time away from books and laptops just to breathe.

Happy day, everyone!

Goodbye and hello!

After today, a new chapter in my life will open.

I've been struggling everyday ever since work started - I don't have time for family and friends to the point my parents have been complaining that I don't really call them any longer these days and they are frustrated that I haven't even been spending time with my siblings as well. As for friends, exception for SH and Miss Soo, I don't really hang out with anyone because by the time I got home from work, I'd usually be dead tired to the point I don't see myself wanting to meet any of them.

Yes, I am as frustrated as my parents are - I am a person who loves hanging out with people but work has taken its toll on me. My working hour is too long and I get the pay that's peanuts! If you're wondering about my working hours, it's 10am to 9pm. That's a total of 11 hours per day.

Let's do some Mathematics.

24 hours in a day minus 11 hours of work minus 8 hours of sleep minus 1 hour of lunch, breakfast and dinner minus 1 hour to be on the road to and fro work minus 1 hour of showering and pampering in morning and night, I am left with only 2 hours to spare per day. Usually during that 2 hours, I'll do some clean up, laundry and cook.

Over the weekend, it'll either be church on Saturday or Sunday and then, stupid sister and I will go grocery shopping. Sunday is the only time I can sit back and enjoy but thesis is killing me slowly and silently. I am rushing to finish and wrap it up so that I can graduate by this semester!

Thus, I've decided, I am definitely NOT someone who can work for 12 hours a day or someone who can stand being tortured by bosses, hence, once and for all, I tendered my resignation earlier this month.

It's my LAST DAY of work today and yes, I am happy work has finally ended for me and I'm gonna make everyday meaningful by doing something good and also writing up my thesis until the day I graduate!

Goodbye, terrible low-pay-high-pressure job and hello, my new chapter of life!


Have a great weekend, people!

Horrible!

Yes, as the title would say it... I haven't been posting any beauty related entries. Reason is because I am busy with the dating game work and also unfortunately, my skin is in a horrible state that I think I will die if this goes on...

My skin has never been so flaky and dry before and now, this issue is getting on my nerve because my skin feels horrible at the moment I am writing this entry.

I guess there are a lot of situations that contribute to my dry and flaky skin. I've been exposed to air-conditioner like 12 to 14 hours a day and without proper skincare products, this is one of the worst factors! Secondly, due to long hours of wearing makeup products during work, I think also contributes to my horrible skin. Then again, the stress of not being able to perform at work gets on my nerve all the times!

With all these contributing issues, my skin has gotten from bad to horrible!

I thought it could be something to do with skincare products, so, I got them changed but this doesn't help at all! Sighs...

The mister said that my skin is really dry and it's peeling off like a snake's skin! Terrible! He told me not to wear too much makeup but then again, makeup is a girl's best friend, how can I not wear makeup?

I remember him telling me, "So, your dark circles are worse than mine! No wonder makeup does wonder - I thought you don't have dark circles so, concealer does really help!"

Now, you may laugh at me for wearing makeup so much. I don't even have the time to apply mask or doing anything to help. By the time I get off from work everyday, I'd be dead tired and after dinner, normally it'd be 10.30pm or 11pm when I get home. After shower, usually, I'll sleep like immediately!

Working life is ain't fun at all!

Hence... I've made up my mind. Right after I get my salary this month, Imma gonna go for facial and spa!

I should give myself a treat because I've been really trying to perform and working hard. Yes, I shall do that, so, wish me luck, people!

When my skin is in a better state, I promise I'll be back!

I miss these cool people...

It's been more than a month since I stopped working at Starbucks, The Weld. Boy, time does fly and it's coming to the second month in another few more days...

Come to think of it, I really miss those cool people I worked with...

I miss Manja's company because we used to go to work together if we were doing the same shift.

I miss Ahmad's stupid jokes especially when he used to cheer me up a lot when I was down with problems.

I miss Dee so much because she is like a sister to me, giving me advices after advices and being so caring towards everything I did and went through. She was always there for me whenever I needed someone to talk to.

I miss Amir because we were once known as the "Bodoh & Hodoh" pair when we worked in the same shift and because of this guy, I'm able to just get a step closer to somebody.

I miss Tajul for his supports and also the silly facial expressions he used to put up because all these cheered my day up a lot!

I miss Navin because now, nobody actually argue with me since I have stopped working. I just miss the way how he used to bully and tease me...

I miss Janet because we used to have so many things in common to talk about and with her, time just sizzled!

I miss Hairi because he was the first friend I got to know when I first started out in Starbucks last December. Hairi also taught me a lot and has been so patient all these times...

Geez... all those pictures just bring back memories after memories. Memory is weird. It will come bouncing back to you the moment you least expect it to come.

Well... I went back to Starbucks earlier in the afternoon for a visit and was tremendously glad to see Manja and Hairi around. I was hoping to bump into Dee because I've just got so many things to tell her. Haha... Let's say, I'll pay her a visit next time.

I was hoping to bump into somebody but somehow, Amir always tells me, "You always come at the wrong time."

I do?!

Hahaha... maybe I do. The weird thing is... I did not get to talk to him last time when he used to come for his Caramel Macchiato. Well, I just did not get the chance to talk much since I was working and there were others around. Bumping into him after working hours did not allow me to talk much too because I remember once, I was picking up my brother and rushing off when we bumped into each other.

I guess that's just what life is, right? Let's say, if time is right, I'll get to see this person again, just like how I used to see him last time.

Good night, people and wish me luck for my lecture tomorrow!

Deng, deng, deng, Imma going to strangle my students if they come late tomorrow! Muahahahaha... I'm truly a witch!

Volcanic desire

Not a good one...

Even the face-lifting charcoal mask won't help this time!

Maybe it could be because of my catching-up age that I get angry pretty fast these days even over minor or petty issues.

This morning, I had a volcanic desire to strangle and slap two stupid customers who happened to be tenants at Menara Hap Seng.

Fuck them! They can stick their smelly head into the toilet bowls for being so freaking stupid!

Lemme tell you what happened... I was standing at the counter, taking orders as usual when a lady came in after talking to her friend who was smoking outside.

Stupid Lady A : I want the breakfast set. One Venti Mocha with Sausage Omelet Sandwich.
Smart Me : I'm sorry, miss but the Mocha doesn't come under the breakfast set but you can choose between a latte or a regular coffee.
Stupid Lady A : How come? Then, I don't want the sandwich, just make it a Venti Mocha.
Smart Me : Okay.
Stupid Lady A : I'm a tenant, got discount, right?

After quite some time...

Stupid Lady A : What is this? Coffee Jelly Frappucino? Is it nice? Oh, I want that.
Smart Me : How about your Mocha?
Stupid Lady A : Change it to TWO Venti Coffee Jelly Frappucinos.
Smart Me : Oh, okay.

*dap, dap, dap*

Smart Me : Altogether, it's RM26.90 after your tenant discount.
Stupid Lady A : Okay.
Smart Me : I've received your RM50 and your change is RM23.10, here you go!

Five minutes later after which her stupid smoking friend came in...

Stupid Lady A : I said I wanted one Venti Mocha with one Venti Coffee Jelly Frappucino.
Smart Me : ..................................................
Stupid Lady A : You have to change it for me.

Damn... you see... I've already punched in her orders and even given back her change and that stupid lady wanted to change her stupid orders? I had to call my manager to re-punch in her stupid orders.

Stupid Lady A : Yes, one Venti Mocha with one Venti Coffee Jelly Frappucino, remember my tenant discount.
Smart Me : Okay, you stupid bitch!

There I was, punching in her NEW order after her previous order was voided. Fuck the stupid lady!

After which I've keyed in her NEW order the second time, her stupid friend joined into the conversation with her stupid words!

Stupid Lady B : Make it a Tall Mocha then, I don't want a Venti.
Smart Me : (losing myself but holding on) Okay...

*dap, dap, dap*

Smart Me : It'd be...
Stupid Lady B : You know what, just make it a Grande Mocha.

Fuck you, you stupid ladies! Don't you know it was all because of your stupid indecisiveness that I had to do refund and was voided so many times? If you don't even know how to place orders, go to normal kopitiam and drink your coffee kao for just RM2 or something!

I feel damn geram lor, okay? If I wasn't working at that time, I would be cursing those two stupid-lady-who-think-they-are-superior to death!

That was incident one. Lemme tell you about incident two, in which it got on my nerve as well.

Smart Me : Your order would just be a Tall Raspberry Blackcurrant Frappucino?
Stupid Guy : Yes, that's all.
Smart Me : It's RM12.10, sir.
Stupid Guy : (handed me his platinum HSBC credit card)

Just as soon as I swiped the card, all of a sudden, he added an order...

Stupid Guy : Key in this one as well.
Smart Me : Dammit Can I key in this transaction first since it's already punched in?
Stupid Guy : No, no, no, no... Put them under the same bill, don't separate them.

The thing is... as soon as the customer confirms his or her orders, we cannot add or deduct any item unless we void the cashier - that's not a good thing but I know some stupid customers, love it and always say, "Do you think it's my problem? Void your cashier if you have to."

These kinda customers can straight away die and go to hell rather than surviving on the face of the Earth to annoy and irritate people.

First of all, these customers, they never work as Baristas before, so, they don't know what kinda training we went through just to make their simplest cup of beverages! They didn't know what kinda troubles we have to go through just for them to take a sip of their favourite beverages.

All they know is, "My rights, my rights and my rights."

Fuck your rights. I will only tolerate if you are right but like the two instances above, they were at wrong since they very beginning for being indecisive!

Can you just be a little more considerate and CONFIRM your order. If you're indecisive, don't order anything and stop giving Baristas problems and headaches and even prolonging your time in the queue. If you love it so much to be the center of attention, just strip yourself and dance in front of the cafe!

I don't give a fuck about what kinda action they're going to take against me but then again, since I'm quitting, who cares? Fuck you and go to hell, you stupid people!

Resignation

I have finally submitted my very first resignation letter today.

After that I felt so bad, just like I'm a villain in those fairy tales.

I don't like it a bit.

Actually I love my job at Starbucks, it's just that the job scope itself is too tiring and the pay isn't much. I don't mind if they pay like RM8 to RM10 per hour but my salary per hour is just half of that and honestly, it's a little depressing because when you check your salary at the end of the month, after your hard work, OT and all - you don't earn enough to pay your rental, utilities and also to cover your spending.

In May, despite of all the OT, back-to-back from 7am to 10pm, working 6 to 7 days a week, I earned less than RM500 and it was honestly a little depressing to see the amount of salary as I was trying to save for my Bangkok trip.

My total salary that month was RM469 to be exact.

Imagine working like an ant. The number of days or amount of time spent at Starbucks is nothing but it's just that the job is so tiring, especially when you've to do cafe every morning or night? At the same time, the cleaning tasks and all are really tiring.

Well, honestly, even at home, I don't do all those tasks but when I started work at Starbucks last December, I had to do everything. I don't complain because I have learned a lot, especially the right ways to do things.

Somehow, I also discovered one of the best things in life - friendship through work.

I appreciate all the little things that everyone has done for me and also teaching me to do whole lotsa things.

Sigh...

Just lemme me... I'll be fine in a day or two. It's just the aftermath of letting something you really like doing go, that's all.

The angels in us...

I've been abandoning my blog these days...

Argh... I can't help it... I've been really busy nowadays to the extent that I don't even have sufficient time to do the stuffs I like. Life sucks...

Anyway, since you all know Imma busy person, I won't go and on and on regarding my work instead, lemme tell you something else. Something like... we are just like a choir of angels!

I signed up for another voluntary work and it involved our preciously beloved Zoo Negara...


I was happy when I signed up for the event the other day but when the day finally came, I needed to drag myself out of the bed because the weather that morning was so damn nice to be in bed - I hate working or even volunteering on Sundays, particularly Sundays with such nice weather to be in bed.

Anyway, no time to grumble!

There were 5 members assigned to our group.



Damn... I'm so freaking ugly in the picture above, I know, right? Whatever it is, the center of attention is not on me, so, scram!

First, we were told to clean up the pigs' sty and I got so shocked. It was only when we got to our destination that I realized we were not going to clean up the pigs' sty, instead, we were given a chance to get up close and personal with sea lions, parrots, hyena and a lot more animals at the Multi-Animal Show area.


Alright, we are done about the animal show. If you're interested, go to the zoo and pay RM10 for the entrance, that's all about it.

It was really funny that Ahmad got so excited when he saw a bunch of monkeys right after entering the zoo..

Things were still okay between the monkeys and Ahmad until he got to see the ding-dong of one of the monkeys there... He was laughing so loud that those monkeys were staring at us. I bet if they were let out, they were surely going to pounce at us!

Anyway, few more pictures taken in aquarium...


I saw really pretty corals there but didn't manage to take a lot of pictures since I was dead tired and yeah, no mood to take pictures!

Oiks, take picture also needs mood, alright?

Lastly, few extra pictures taken like... everywhere in the zoo... I have a lot more but it's just I'm too lazy to upload so many since it's not like each and everyone of you will want to see them...

~ Pose aku nak jadi model ~

~ Pose aku nak act cute ~

~ The "we are family" pose ~

~ The "we are so damn cute and shiok" pose ~

With another bonus picture of all of us trying to be supermodels, in which, Ahmad succeeded in posing like Lady Gaga while me, it seems to me like I'm trying to pose for Darlie or Colgate!



Till we meet again, people!

I love you but I hate you!

I think most of my close friends are aware that I am doing 3 different jobs and at the same time, my third semester just started and life is hellishly hectic these days. Perhaps, with a little exception that sometimes, on certain Fridays, I get to see YT at Midvalley before class.

If you're not sure of my job scopes, I'm going to tell you what I'm doing for life and believe me, life sucks big time now because at the end of each day, I'll collapse to my bed even before bed time and slept for two hours or more before waking up around 8p.m. or so to get online and do some stuffs before going back to bed.

Well, people, this is my life and I'm going to tell you the story of my life!

It all started out with lack of Vitamin M. Even though my parents said I need not worry anything that is related to money when I'm studying but I'm one hell of an egoistic person that refuse to ask them for money.

I'm totally crazy, right?

So, it all happened one particular day when all of a sudden, my brother dragged me into Starbucks, The Weld and told me to get a job because I needed a life! Alright, now tell me, how many elder brothers out there are just like mine?

I applied and got the job about 10 days later. I was more than delighted to learn that I would start working the very next day.


The few days into working, I was dead tired because never in my whole life I had to drag and arrange around 24 tables with 96 chairs every morning if I'm doing opening and clearing and chaining them if I'm doing closing.


I was at the verge of breaking down to know that I've to go through a life like hell to earn like RM4.75 per hour and it was really sad because the main reason why I wanted to get a job was to earn bucks to support myself. After a thorough thought of why others can do it while I can't, I came to the decision to hold on.

True enough, with determination you'll pull through and I did. Here I am today, still working for Starbucks and loving each and every moment spent there even though the job is dead tiring with the salary like peanuts!

I love the company of everyone at Starbucks, The Weld and I love everyone there... I mean how can you not love your job when you can communicate with different types of people or there are even times when customers show interest in you!


Indeed, I'm very grateful to have bumped into this bunch of friends at Starbucks who have taught me a lot ever since the first day I joined them in December 2008. I mean, with a manager as understanding as Dee, who over time, became one of the person I love talking to, how can you not like Starbucks, The Weld?

Indeed, I'm very much grateful that Dee understands my hectic schedule and tried to help out as often as possible.


That is Dee and Navin, camwhoring with my camera. Well... honestly, I appreciate every single moment spent with these bunch of people!

You all rock!

At the end of the day, I love my job but the thing is, the pay is too little and the working hours are just too long for the pay!

Alright, let's move on to the second job of mine - lecturer.

I've to admit that I'm not a person who can teach well. Even though dad and the majority of his siblings teach, I just can't bring myself to the thought that one day I'll be teaching but here I am today, teaching.

Dammit...

You know, the best thing about being a lecturer is that it's easy to teach those college students because they are grown-ups and things are just so easy since you don't need to explain term by term, vocabulary by vocabulary, in all 3 languages.

I'm not a morning person but having to wake up early in the morning and to travel all the way from KL to PJ is just like a curse! My class is at 10am, so I need to wake up around 8 every Wednesday and get ready latest by 9am before starting my journey.

Before the class, alright, this is worse than a curse - preparing slides!

Dammit... I really never like doing extensive and in-depth reading but since I need to prepare slides for every lesson for 14 weeks, I need to read, read and read!

Goodness, I think I've gone mad from all the readings!

This is a torture - like skinning me off and waiting for me to die slowly...

The final job would be the home tutor.

Honestly, the salary for home tutor is really quite irresistible to resist, so I took up the job since first of all, the salary at Starbucks isn't much. Even if being a part-time lecturer does pay off well but still, it's not sufficient since there are just so many things I need to pay off every month. This has not include shopping yet.


Talking about shopping - darn... I haven't even shop for quite some time already! Life has been so freaking hectic that even if I have the ka-ching thingy, I don't have the time to wander around shopping malls.

Let's not divert you else where and talk about the home tutor thingy. Shit... I did tell myself, teaching is not my field and it has been proven that teaching is really NOT my field.

I hate kids and I always will... I really have had HARD time trying to teach a bunch of Primary One kids for the past one month and I was screaming at them the other day when he said, "Teacher, why are you so stupid one?"


My response was, "I am stupid, right? Why not, you come and sit at my place and TEACH me instead. Tell me why grammar should be this way and not that way."

The boy looked at me with wide-opened eyes without any response.

I was honestly irritated with that kiddo but another 2 of the kids stepped on my patience limit too especially when after teaching them the same thing over and over for more than 1 hour.

I really don't want to say this but somehow, I don't know what's wrong with those kids. I mean, how can you forget the thing that you've learned just a minute ago?

Argh... if this situation goes on, I will commit suicide earlier than anyone!

Alright, alright, maybe not to the extent of commiting suicide but I think I'll go mad faster than the water-drinking rate...


My life is freakishly mad, right?

At the end of the day, I still hate kids. Alright, I know most of you - attached or single, you guys love kids but you don't need to come and influence me to like the brats. Believe me, you'll never succeed! Muahaha...

All in all, I really have a love-hate relationship with all my jobs!

I'm the biggest failure ever in history...

I failed terribly during the learning audit today...

Dammit... what was I doing?

I made damn lotsa stupid mistakes that I'm NOT supposed to even make during my shift. I forgot tumbler discounts, I kept on voiding bills after bills!

Today is indeed a blue Monday!

I hate Mondays!

How can I not know what a DRB is? Fuck man, fuck! I should have known all these littlest details so that I can score well but heck, what happened to me during the audit?

Sigh...

I was in a mess this morning!

Sigh...

Darn...

On the bright side of life, I think somehow, he's taking initiative to make things better between us but honestly I don't know if I should be feeling this way since it's really hard for me to put everything behind.

He was actually trying to pull a joke but I ended up going, "Huh?"

I'm really feeling so goddamn terrible!

Would somebody help me?

Destiny

As much as I wish all these never take place, still, I know I can't go against our destinies. Perhaps, destiny is the only reason why he chose to let go.

I never wanted to let go in the very beginning and honestly, even up to now, I'm really having tough times trying to get over it. Partly because we're working together and sometimes, I find it hard not to let the memories of everything lingering about. Those memories will just bounce back at the moment I see him from time to time.

What does our destinies hold actually?

The other day, when all of us were at Relay for Life 2009, I was hiding away at the back of the tent, weeping. It was really hard because we were all sitting down next to each other. He was sitting right in front of me but both of us were pretending nothing ever happened and we weren't even talking to each other.

It hurts a lot when that somebody is ignoring you.

Yes, we are no longer related and I'm the one who finds it so hard to put the memories behind because between him and I, there are just so many memories.

I was talking to Dee and Awis about it and both of them were more than worried that I could not pull through.

Honestly, I'm doing fine. It's just that sometimes, I feel terrible when it comes to facing him at work. Yes, it is hard as I've said but like what I've told both Dee and Awis, "Things will be fine. I will be fine because I have to be fine."

Sigh... Maybe things will be a lot easier if I don't get to see him.

As the matter of fact, I'll be transferred to Menara Hap Seng from The Weld starting 13th to 22nd of June. Although it's only for a short period of 9 to 10 days, at least it'll make me feel better not having to face him for that period of time.

As promised to fellow friends, I'll be good, yes, things will be fine. I'm stronger than what I seem to be, alright?

Anyway, update again tonight - need to go and send my car into car-hospital. Tayar pancit. Suey betul!

At the time you're reading this...

I'm busy doing something.

It's a Saturday and I'm not at home at the moment and yeah... get back to you when I've gotten all the pictures ready.

I'm up to something really good and something that brings about a lot of smiles to a lot of people.

Guess what, guys?

I'm right at a charity walk, doing charity and this is a scheduled entry.

Anyway, update soon, bye and take care!

The story of my secret crush...

Guess who dropped by this morning?

I was busy clearing things in BOH when I was called to the front line. As hesitant as I was, when I stepped out of the BOH, the person I saw made my day!

He stopped by for Grande Mocha Frappucino this morning. As much as I was surprised to see him, he was surprised to see me as well. My goodness... When he smiles... awww... I can die right on the spot and go to heaven...

Him: Oh, hi, how come you're here this morning? I thought you're only coming in at 11 later?

Me: I'll only be doing that shift next week and today is an exception.

Him: Hmmm... Alright then, you're going to be here until...

Me: 3p.m.

Him: Any plan afterwards?

Me: Err... No, I need to get home to get my long awaited rest. Haha.

Him: Alrighty, so, I'll see you around.

Yeaps, nothing much because he was kinda rushing since office hour was starting soon when he dropped by. So, the day resumed as usual and it wasn't a busy day too since early morning. It was kinda a more laid back day if compared to the day before.

Around 1p.m. or so, when I was in the BOH for once again, Amir called me out and when I got out for once again, I saw him again - yes, he dropped by for the second time...

*sob, sob*

I was so happy to see him again and mind you, it's not love at first sight or anything, alright?

That was the time, he remembered my name!

Him: It's really hot outside and I'd like another cuppa Grande Mocha Frappucino, please.

Me: Okay.

Him: Phew, I've been walking from my office right opposite from here, all the way to the end of this road a while back for lunch with my colleagues and it's really burning hot out there!

Me: You might want to hang around in the store for a bit because it's cooler than outside.

Him: Now, I wish I'm back to Australia.

Me: You're not local?

Him: No, I'm an Australian but coming here for a project.

Me: Project?

Him: Yes, my company sent me here for a project with Ambank and I'll be back to Australia next week since I've been here since 2 months ago.

Me: Will you be back here anytime soon after going back to Australia next week?

Him: Perhaps, I will. You see, I've been travelling to and fro from Australia to Malaysia quite often and I'll probably be back here again in 2 weeks' to a month's time.

Me: Well, surely all of us are going to miss you.

Him: Anyway, Angel, it's really nice to get to know you and thanks again. I'll be looking forward to see you again.

*cough, cough*

I know, right? I was indirectly telling him that I'm going to miss him.

Darn... he does remember my name! I didn't even tell him my name and yet he knows my name. Damn... I can really die and go to heaven already!

But the ever so klutzy me, forgot to ask for his name!

You guys know what? All of a sudden, I feel so loved. Muahaha... you see... my twin brother dropped by after attending his interview and bought me some sore-throat candies. OMG, I love him so damn much and Bernard, if you're reading this, yes, you're very much loved! Hahaha... I hope you've enjoyed your Caramel Macchiato today but still, I want my treat and you're NOT going to get away from it!

Right at this point of time, I think although the past has already became a history, my life has just begun. Gosh... I really shouldn't be working so hard - yes, I've fallen sick. Flu, sore-throat, cough and damn... my schedule is so damn full...

I terribly need my rest...