14 things I learn in 2014

Happy 2015!

My greetings come late but it's better late than never, right?

To be honest, I am more than just happy that 2014 has flown by.

Therefore, I would like to conclude the saying that goes, "Human beings grow wiser as they age." I am not implying that I am wise or smart but at the very least, I know I have learned 14 new things in 2014. These 14 new things have totally changed my perspectives in life.

Life is supposed to be simple but due to too many pressures from people and material needs around us, somehow, life becomes complicated.

Let's wind back to what I have learned in 2014.

#     #     #     #     #     #     #     #     #     #

My immature mind forever thought that friends are equal to colleagues and that we should get along well. I guess in all kind of working environment, you will be spotting office politics - people trying to bring you down, people resenting you, people who just cannot bear having you around and all others.

Above all, the scariest one would be the hypocrite.

Being nice on the surface and trying to backstab you afterwards just because they think it is alright to do so.

Sometimes, I think I am indeed idiotic enough to have trusted so many of such kind of people at workplaces. I used to label them as "friends" and now, I come to understand that there are differences between friends and colleagues.

Point to remember - your colleagues will never be your friends!

As age catches up, I guess being a female homo-sapien, we get more worried because very often, people around us would be telling us that, "A girl's market value decreases as they age."

I do not know how true that statement is but being a Chinese, I guess you can't help but to feel dejected but human beings can only plan while God decides. Instead of feeling bad about why love hasn't found me, why not spend some time to just learn that things happen for a reason?

In 2014, I have learned that love takes two to tango and it takes time to grow.

True enough - love is built on the foundation of a strong friendship.

I have to thank this person whom has always been there for me be it when I am happy or sad. It may have taken me a while to realize he has always been there but then again, things happen for a reason. As much as I wish we are meant to be, still, good things do not come easily.

If we are meant to be, things will fall together one day.

Throughout my life before 2014, my goal was to make people around me happy. If they were unhappy, my mood got affected and honestly, my day would be affected to the point I would not have any motivation to do anything.

In August 2014, after talking to a friend, I finally realized that the first rule of life is that you, as the main character in your life, should be happy. When you are happy, you will make people happy.

"When you are unhappy, there is no point trying to make everybody else happy."

"Being happy is all that matters."

I can honestly tell you, the person who has taught me so much about friendship and trust is no one else but this friend of mine, Chung Siang. The first person whom I always think of when the topic of friendship comes about is him.

We have come a long way - from ICQ stranger to a brother whom I never had. He has taught me so much about accepting people the way they are, being at your best is what it counts and that learning to love yourself is the most important thing in your life.

Part of who I am today - all thanks to him... he trusted I could be a better person and I trusted he would be guiding me along the way.

Thank you, Chung Siang, for trusting me and teaching how to trust again.

Special thanks to two special someone who has never ceased to be there for me - dong-sen-s, John and Emme - for everything.

I used to think that life will be better if everyone likes me. Hence, I tried my best to please those around me to the point I couldn't take it anymore.

I asked myself, "What do I get in return?"

You may be thinking, your life will be like a dream if people like you but bear in mind, there will be someone in your life that will dislike you no matter what you do.

Point to remember - it doesn't matter whether other people like your or not, the important thing is that, keep your head high and tell yourself, "I am all that matters."

Being an open book means that you are giving chances to people to read your mind or to hurt you. I come to learn in 2014 that you should never be an open book.

True enough, it may be difficult for people to get to know about you but at the same time, it also gives a chance for people to personally attack you.

Finally, I come to understand what Forrest Gump has said is right.

Let your life be like a box of chocolates - never give any chance to people to read you like an open book.

It feels like yesterday that I have just known this person but honestly, human beings are fast to judge. When we first got to know each other, the first impression just wasn't there.

Through time, I learned that he is a friend who is responsible, kind, humble, family oriented and well... he may look serious all the times with the MEH-ness but still... for me, he is a blessing in disguise.

Thank you, for being there :)

I seriously hate pretending to be someone I am not. There are times when people would tell you, "Girls have be be ladylike - you are not being one!"

I have to admit - there are two sides of me. I can be a girly girl but at the same time, there is another side of me who is more sporty and maybe a little tomboy-ish.

Those two sides of me defines who I really am but why do I have to listen to people telling me, "You've gotta pretend to be who you are not sometimes."

Why do I have to pretend?

To make you happy?

In 2015, I will make sure I will stop pretending to be who I am not.

Sure enough we all love a helpful person but sometimes, being too helpful is not a good thing. People may just use it as an excuse to go against you.

We learn about giving and taking in life.

Never give out but never take anything back.

Moderation is the key!

In communication, more than often, whatever a person says maybe wrongly interpreted by the other person. That explains miscommunication in a lot of situations.

Sometimes, things that we say are not being fully understood by the other person because as human beings, we tend to jump into conclusions very often.

Therefore, in 2014, I guess I have made quite a number of enemies because I can be pretty blatant and straight-forward to the point people may dislike me for saying certain truth.

Hence, I have learned that I am only responsible for what I say, whether or not you fully understood what I have said, that's not my responsibility.

I always thought I have higher standards when it comes to life because I am a person who expects a lot from other people. I know I may sound scary at times but then, to have a standard is better than not having any at all.

There was one time in my life that I told myself, "Perhaps, I should lower my expectations."

I did and I regretted.

One thing I have learned that in life, if people want to be in your life, they should raise their standards, not you lowering your standards. Lowering your standards indirectly means you are dumping your self-respect.

Respect yourself and never apologize for having high standards.

Waking up to beautiful mornings, how many of us actually feels thankful for the day?

For once, I am found guilty... I never thank God for a beautiful day and for a healthy body. Instead, when problems arise, I would put the blame on God for not putting Himself in my shoes.

In 2014, I learned that being thankful for what you have is important.

Not everyone has the chance to be who and what you are. God doesn't create everyone equally. There are reasons why certain people are better or worse than you.

Be thankful of what you have and you'll learn that life can be joyous too.

We have heard about life is all about taking chances but how many of us actually do take the chances?

Life is a gamble - if you do not take the chance, the possibility may be that you will lose the chance forever because time and tide wait for no man.

If you know what is wrong with your life, why not take the chance and make your life better?

Every step that you are going to take counts and it will shape you to who you are in future.

Point to remember - overcome your fear and step out of your comfort zone!

I learn that through a slap on my face.

Not everyone can be honest but when people are honest, you have gotta make sure you are able to take it.

Never expect cheap people to be honest with you because whatever they say will be cheap and it's not honesty.

#     #     #     #     #     #     #     #     #     #

So... those are the 14 things I have learned in 2014.

Hopefully 2015 will be kinder to me...

Once and for all

My mood right now - agitated and angry.

This entry is not gonna anything related to make-up, beauty or health. I'm a typical human being just like you all and I do have my ups and downs in life. 

Initially, this trip back to my hometown was not intended to be so long. One of my main intentions was to meet Sam. I did not know whether or not I would be able to bump into him but I took a shot. Erm... Sam and I have a lifetime stories growing up seeing each other as well as watching each other transform while being where we are today.

Honestly, one of the reasons why I am staying single after my previous relationship is because of Sam. I wanted to give both of us a well-deserved chance because we the chance to be together 9 years ago. Yes, 9 years is such a long time that none of you could ever imagine. 

Another reason is that, Sam is attached to a girl already and I do not wish to become the reason he breaks up with the girlfriend. I want nature to takes it's course, so, all these times, I keep a low profile as possible if we were contacting each other. Sometimes, I think I am the dumb one because I know he is attached but I do have a little bit of feelings for him especially after knowing how he feels towards me as well. I am scared because I'm not someone who would go after an attached or married man.

Before I came back, I told Sam I would be visiting Kuching for a day or two and he was thrilled and promised he would be taking a few days off to accompany me. I was happy and felt appreciated because never in my life had a guy taking leaves to be there for me. 

I was happier a week ago when he suddenly came back for Raya holidays. He said it was sudden because he did not plan on coming back. When he sent me a SMS saying he was on his way to my place at 12am, my heart dropped. I couldn't believe what I read. He had just taken a 7-hour ride back from Kuching and all he thought was dropping by my place for a visit? How can a typical girl like me feel not appreciated, right?

We met up the next day and that was the first time he came into my house to greet my parents out of courtesy. I couldn't feel more than happy. Just before he left, I jokingly asked, "Hey, Sam... we have only seen each other for less than an hour. Is it enough? Do you wanna see me again before you leave tomorrow?"

He stared at me with those eyes that would melt any girl's heart and told me, "I want to see more of you but I can't stay longer because I need to go shopping with my mum and grandma. Do you wanna join us?"

I was like... oh, okay, he asked me to join his mum and grandma for some shopping spree. For a moment, my heart stopped beating but in the end, I declined because I wasn't as courageous as I thought I could be. At the same time, the thought of him, still attached to his girlfriend, made me feel bad, so... I did not go out with him.

Well, everything else seemed pretty insane because talking to Sam over the phone after he returned to Kuching was dreamy and all that but those moments did not last long until we had quite a mind-boggling argument regarding what we are going through. He sent me a SMS about a week after his trip back home, telling me that he had broken up with his girlfriend.

I did not even think he would be courageous enough to do so because all these times, the Sam that I knew was a little... you know, obedient. When his girlfriend started to cry or taunt, he would give in. Honestly, I don't like girls like that and I am certainly not a girl who would sit on the floor and cry like a baby.

Two years ago, Sam told me the same thing that he had broken up with his girlfriend and that he felt a heavy burden being lifted. At that time, I wasn't feeling anything because I thought I had nothing to do with his break up and that whatever he was doing, they were not my concern. So, it was only 3 days later, he called and told me that they got back together. I went like, "WTF?! I thought you are tired of this relationship?"

He admitted that he was indeed tired of a bossy girlfriend that ordered him around and expecting him to move over to KL, into her place, staying with her mother.

Let's face it. If you are a guy and your girlfriend demands, "You cannot go back to Sarawak because I want you to move to KL and stay with my mum. I am the only child, so you have to understand my situation. I have a mother to take care of and since you are my boyfriend, you have to move to KL because Sarawak is too ulu and I don't like it there."

Guys and girls, if you are a fellow Sarawakian and people put you down just like so, how would you feel?

I don't hate Sam's girlfriend but I merely dislike her attitude of looking down at Sarawak and it's people.

Then, I got to know the reason they got back together was because the girl threatened to commit suicide if Sam did not return to her and that if she dies, Sam would need to take care of her mother.

Talking about nonsense, that girl is rubbish!

If I were Sam, I would dump her for good - psychotic bitch!

This time around, when told me he had broken up with the girlfriend for the second time, I doubted that would really be for good or not. Stupid sister was telling me, "I can play a bet with you - 3 days! Within 3 days Sam will go back to her psychotic girlfriend."

I told stupid sister not to tell silly jokes and bet on stupid stuffs.

Night fell... it was a little over 12am, about 3 hours later, when I got another message from Sam - that was less than 3 days bet as being placed by stupid sister. It read something like this...

"She called back and cried. She wants to get back together."

At that point of time, I was a little angry. I was angry at Sam. I knew I was not in position to be angry but he shouldn't even told me about the whole break-up story if it wasn't decided.

What are all these nonsense about breaking up, threatening and getting back together? Just because she knows how to cry and make life-threatening stories so Sam should get back together with her?

I couldn't stop wondering too...

What is wrong with the psychotic bitch and also Sam? Am I a toy for Sam to just lift the burden his girlfriend put on him temporarily?

I shall quote from Princess Jasmine of Aladdin, "I am not a toy to be won!"

I replied his message like this...

"I don't know what in the world you're trying to do and I am not interested whether or not you are breaking up for good. It's your decision and I don't want to know anything."

His answer was...

"Why are you angry? I still haven't decide yet."

By that time, I was more furious...

"I don't like it when you are giving me false hopes. I thought you would be serious this time around especially about US. In fact, when you told me you've broken up and I am the first one to know, I was over the moon and now, you're disappointing me!"

Perhaps, he was trying to get away from more problems and said...

"I'm having headache - drank too much. I'm heading to bed."

My last message to him was...

"All I know is, I don't like indecisive guys and I don't plan to know what you wanna do! Good night!"

He did reply but with an unhappy emoticon.

Who cares?! I was already feeling so disappointed with him. Think of it, first time trying to break up, the girlfriend threatened him that she would commit suicide. Second time trying to break up, committing suicide again?! WTF?!

Friends around me have been telling me that if the psychotic bitch wanted to really end her life, she would have taken her life by now and not clinging on to Sam.

Whatever it is, I don't give a damn about what they're going through. It is not my problem anyway and I don't intend to get together with a guy who disappoints me over and over and over again.

As complicated as my love life would be, I think I deserve better than Sam. 

My cheesecake and I

No, no, no... not that kinda cheesecake!

** A special shout out to Amy and her mum! Hello there! **

You know, I'm on a VERY strict diet and I need to lose like another, self-proclaimed, 30kg, hence, no cheesecake for me until I am 35kg or so. Wish me luck!

This cheesecake, however, is different - very different.

A real living, breathing, walking and talking cheesecake!

Now, how often do you come across a cheesecake that can do everything as in a real human being can? None, right?

But please don't be like Amy... Listen Mrs. T, not Kimchi or Bibimbap Oppa, okay? Hahahahahaha... That girl would surely know those terms made me burst out laughing like mad. Gosh... where on Earth did she come up with terms of endearment like that?

Cheesecake Oppa, perhaps?

NO!

Hahahaha.

Good night, people!

Mushroom!

Baby said I look like a mushroom now!


Since I do think mushroom grows on my head now, I better be off to bed but before I do, lemme present to you another stupid picture of mine!


Good night, sleep tight, peeps!

There goes his tongue!

Oh, yucks!

Imagine you kissing your boyfriend or girlfriend during those French Kiss moments and all of a sudden, he or she bits your tongue off and spit it out later - glaring at you like a monster!

Oh my freaking gosh!

Gross!

A woman who bit off her boyfriend's tongue during a kiss on his birthday has been jailed for three years.

Tracy Davies, 40, severed the first third of Mark Coghill's tongue in "an animal fashion" after asking him for a "smoochy kiss," Newcastle Crown Court heard.
The pair, who met through a lonely hearts column, had been celebrating Mr Coghill's 45th birthday, and had drunk two bottles of vodka before the attack.
During the three day trial, Newcastle Crown Court heard how Davies "turned into the likes of Mike Tyson" within seconds of being "lovely."
A recovering alcoholic, Davies had become upset because she wanted a baby and wasn't pregnant. When Mr Coghill comforted her, she told him she loved him and asked him to kiss her.
But she soon turned into a "massive monster," Mr Coghill told the court, biting down hard on his tongue after she lured him into putting it in her mouth. He screamed in pain and tapped her on the head in a bid to make her release him. Instead she chewed through his tongue, and spat it out on the floor.
Sentencing her, Judge John Evans said Davies had acted in an "animal fashion" and adding that Mr Coghill's injury was "truly appalling."
During the trial, Mr Coghill told the court how he tried to fight Davies off, but her teeth remained clamped to his tongue. "I couldn't kick her off, or push her away or anything like that. I was just hoping and praying she would stop," Mr Coghill told the court.
"Then when she did stop, she opened her mouth, and looked at me in such a way that I have never seen anyone do before. She opened her mouth, and my tongue was in her mouth. She let out a satisfaction sound, like if you have a cup of tea when you haven't had one for a few days. An mmmm sound."
In her defence, Davies said she had "no recollection" of attacking Mr Coghill, and she only told the police she was responsible for his injury because he had convinced her that she had done so.

If you're interested in her picture, click here.

Now, it keepts me wondering, why a person like her would have a boyfriend while I'm still single but NOT available? Ah, forget it, life isn't always great to have love around. At least I think mine sucks with all of these bullshit. I'm better off on my own - a lot better.

I forgot to share with you guys a story of brighter side of me - I did something good last Friday. I was and am happy I did something that made an old lady happy and kept on praising me, "You're the kindest soul alive!"

Ah, well, my brother said, it'll perhaps take 10 years for the kind deed to return its favour to me. I don't really mind if it comes back to me or not because I was freaking frustrated last Friday because of the incident and perhaps God is trying to tell me life is NOT all about love and stuffs.

True enough, my love life may not be colourful but then again, there are so many chances for me to contribute to the society. Thus, I'm planning to go over to perhaps to an old folks' home or orphanage to contribute something.

Anyone who wants to join me?

Wah, period eh... Can die la... how ah, how ah?

Anyway, I need to sign off to continue with my stupid-ass assignment that gives me headache and that's going to due on Thursday. I need to come up with 5000 words but up to now, I could only manage to write 500 words. This is ridiculous!



Sorry to divert you with my bimbotic pictures - I like just love to show off my new short hair even though sometimes, I think the hairtstyle makes me ugly! The pictures were taken during work this morning and pardon me for my lousy complexion.

Yours truly, signing off. Muacks!

XOXO,
Yours truly.

Kiss my blues away

I found a temporary cure that would kiss your blues away - not permanently but at least kissing your blues away for a while is better than nothing - Fruit Lassi. Don't you know sweet stuffs like chocolates can contribute additional inches to your waistline?

Aiks... I should have known this little fact myself but for the previous few days, I've been chomping down on chocolates my brother's friend bought from overseas. Darn... Now, there goes my diet!

Whatever... At last I found joy within homemade fruit lassi that will not cost a bomb but it always will cost you a bomb if you order these drinks outside.

Well, I've made Papaya Lassi yesterday and this morning, I had Mango Lassi. You can choose any other fruits or just mix the fruits together. I've few suggestions on what fruits to mix by the way.

1. Banana + Strawberry

2. Banana + Mango

3. Orange + Lime

4. Orange + Papaya

5. Pineapple + Apples

6. Green Apples + Red Apples

7. Papaya + Apples

8. Papaya + Banana

If you'd love a tinge of difference, try adding tomatoes or cucumbers into your lassi. It'd be more than just cooling that way. Personally, I love anything with papaya and apples but since I'm not a fruity, fruity person - let's just go straight to the point.

Ingredients
Fruits or vegetables - amount depends on your likings.
2 tbsp of low-fat natural yogurt - RM5.35 for 450gm.


1 tbsp of honey - depends if you have sweet tooth or not.


Method - Just put everything into your blender and blend away - remember adding ice cubes to make it tastes better.

Taa-daah, this was the end product of Papaya Lassi... I know it looks gross in picture but believe me, it tasted better than how it looked like then...

And by the way, yeah, I forgot to blend my ice cubes together with the drink so, that explains the three floating stuffs in the glass, alright?

Next up... This is something I've wanted for so damn long. I thought they're gonna come in pink but too bad they only have blue and white... Since I'm not a blue person although I'm feeling blue now, I chose a white one instead.

Lemme show you the process of officializing this thing! The picture below shows yours truly, trying to rip open my star product!

I know, I have swollen eyes - the picture was taken right after a good cry. Check out my expression - damn kesian and swollen. I also kesiankan myself when I saw the picture last night. Why would I take picture of me being in such a stupid state?

Alright, that's another story!

Yay, I've finally bought this convenient box from Ikea for RM19.90 and damn cheap, okay? I've been eyeing on this box ever since Alice told me about it 2 years ago or so.

Darn... I was on a really tight budget and didn't want to spend much but now, I'm so much in need to organize my piling make-up products! You'll scare yourself out of your skin if you are to see how messy my make-up products look like before having this convenient box! I kinda dumped everything in a pink bag and I always had hard time trying to locate things inside the box! Thank you, Ikea, for such a wonderful creation!

I can even put my make-up brushes into the box, that's one of the happiest buy! From now on, I don't need to turn the room upside down to find my brushes because the brushes are put together with the other make-up products!

That means, bye-bye pinkie bag... You've served me well and now, it's time to put you to rest! Rest in peace, my dearly beloved pink bag...

Anyway, I'll just let you see the organization of my make-up products in the convenient box. Even though it isn't BIG enough to occupy all the make-up products, at least three quarter of my make-up products are placed inside the box already. Well, for another one quarter, I figure out I should go and get another one.

From left to right, starting from brushes section...

Section 1 - Brushes, brushes and more brushes.

Section 2 - False lashes and adhesive lashes glue.

Section 3 - Lip glosses, lipsticks and mascaras.

Section 4 - Foundation and eyeshadows.

Section 5 - Pigments and blusher.
I'm having headache trying to figure out how to store my 88 colour palette and also eyeshadows from Britney Spears with few more liquid foundations. Headache, headache...

Alright, lemme show you something meaningful for now...

I was surfing the net a while ago and came across this picture with caption. It somewhat touches my broken-heart and all of a sudden, I wish I own a doggie. Perhaps, it could cheer me up at time like this...

Lulu is looking for her friend, a man named Ed who had recently passed away. She returned to his door looking for him several times after he died.

If only I have a doggie that's as faithful as the poodle above. How can you be not touched if you somehow know, even when you've passed away, the pet you used to love and cared for comes back, scratching at the door, trying to find its way to get to you?

Sometimes, I do have to agree that owning a pet is better than you, having to entertain your boyfriend or girlfriend.

My life is...

crazily hectic right now...

24 hours in a day is insufficient for me. If you don't believe me, try studying for 6 hours straight, non-stop for 2 days and believe me, for the third day, you won't feel like attending classes any longer.

My schedule for the time being is...

Monday, 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. - Genre Analysis
Tuesday, 3 p.m. to 6 p.m. - Second Language Acquisition
Tuesday, 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. - Critical Discourse Analysis
Wednesday, 3 p.m. to 6 p.m. - Sociolinguistics
Wednesday, 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. - Applied Linguistics
Friday, 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. - General Linguistics

I need to drop like 3 courses because I'm expected to finish 2 of the 3 core courses this semester. I don't wanna die young and specifically, die from excessive studying hours.

I'm really, really, tired honestly... for the past two days, I got home only around 11.30 p.m. and slept at 1.30 to 2 in the morning.

Will update as soon as I have the time, probably Thursday or maybe weekends.

Meanwhile, sweetie, please, please, please, if you're reading this, please don't let the happiness and joy be gone from your being. I still want to see the old you when I get back there, okie?

A nice day to do cooking

Note: My convocation date has just been announced yesterday. So, everybody, come, come and bring presents for yours truly to Wisma MCA, Ampang on the 24th of August 2008 at 7.30 a.m. The more presents the merrier.

Cooking is also dependent on one's mood - who's the one saying that you can actually do cooking everyday? No such thing, okay?


Since Wendy came back from Ipoh today, I've decided to cook something for dinner. So, there I was, this morning, thinking hard on what should I be cooking for her. In the end, I just dumped everything in and voila, four dishes came out. Haha. Smart me.

~ The ingredients ~

Wanna see the dishes I've prepared?

Taa-daah...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

Actually, I forgot to take the pictures of the four dishes because I was too hungry by the time Wendy got back from Kota Raya, so, we kinda gobbled everything up in an instant.

Wait... wait a minute... I did take a picture of the lamb chop that I've prepared and marinated by me brother before he went back to Sibu few days ago. It was delicious!

~ Salivating yet? ~

After some time, when we've finished everything up and cleared the mess, I went to take my sweet-time bath and ended up turning into...

A camwhore!

~ The cook cum camwhore cum mushroom head ~

Salute me for being lame.

Muahahaha!

I am seriously...

INSANE.

Shoot me.