A lot of times, we often find ourselves standing in the middle of a road diverged in two, having to make decision which road we should take. Have you ever wonder, right now, at current situation, what will your life be if you've taken another road instead of the road you're walking on now?
You see, it's all coming down to my teenage years whenever I think of that.
It was really tough for me to find the right clique when I was a teenager. I wasn't born to be a beauty queen with a body to die for nor a face as angelic as an angel. It wasn't my fault when I wasn't born a smart ass and I didn't ask to be born unattractive. So, throughout my high school years, I knew there were friends who befriended me just because they could make use of me to reach their goals.
Aside from that, I remember very vividly, there was this really down-to-earth male classmate of mine - let's call him Sam. I met him when I was 12 from the tuition center I used to go to but did not get the chance to know him because we were from different schools and even when we went to the same high school at the age of 13, we were in different classes. It was not until when we were 16, Sam and I were somehow ended in the same class. Even so, we did not have a lot of things to talk about because we belonged to different cliques of friends.
It was a hi-and-bye thing whenever we met and well, a year later, when we were in Form 5, somehow or rather, our friendship blossomed. We talked a lot... actually, we crapped a lot because you see, he was one of the top students in the class and did really well in Mathematics. Hence, I always went to him for free lessons.
No, no, no... it was totally not related to my puppy love because I only got to talk to Sam like friends when we were 16 or 17. Much, much older than the time when I crushed my puppy love. LOLX. I made the statement sounded so wrong but never mind. That's the whole intention. Hahaha.
Let's get back to the story of Sam.
I was and am talkative by nature and more than often, because of my talkativeness and maybe a tinge of naughtiness, somehow, Sam and I managed to become REAL friends from the hi-and-bye type. Well... I loved teasing him because he used to be all quiet and down-to-earth. He was one of very few guy friends whom I know really had the heart of gold when it came to friendship because for people like them at the age tend to get attracted to the hot girls but sadly, I wasn't any hot girl, but still, we became friends.
It was not until my 17th birthday that I finally pestered and pestered Sam for a birthday gift. I guess Sam gave in and bought me the first ever birthday gift that I've kept with me up to this very day. LOLX!
Can you believe it? Yes, this decoration item is still placed in my room back at my hometown. Geez... I guess I really do treasure this piece present from Sam indeed.
After Form 5, we went our own ways when he decided he'd go for Physics while, I ended up doing Biology. Well, different classes again but on and off, we would bump into each other because we were in the prefectorial board and well... still, I teased him like mad. Hey, not the bad teases but then, just kinda, you know, naughty. LOLX! Good thing, he responded and I guess he finally picked up communication skills and teased me back.
It went on for 2 years until we left Form 6. He went to UNIMAS, Kuching whereas I ended up somewhere in KL. It was 2005 back then and, we didn't get meet or even talk to each other for more than 2 years until in December 2007, when I was on a quest to find out more about my thesis in UNIMAS' library, I noticed a very familiar guy walking past me.
Instead of just walking past just like a stranger would, he kinda turned around to look at me several times before he left the library. The library was REALLY big and empty due to the fact that the time when I visited, it was semester break, hence, no students were around. I was pretty sure it was Sam but why didn't he say hi to me? I took out my mobile and dialed his number - missed call actually. Hahahahaha...
See... at least I was persistent!
In less than 5 minutes, unmistakeably, Sam came back into the library and this time around, a big smile was carved on his face, "Hey, Angelina, is that really you?"
On an honest account, there is not a single guy friend who would address me as 'Angelina' because I hate that name! Well, Sam is the one that always goes, "Angelina, Angelina, Angelina, Angelina." After a while, I kinda got used to him calling me that.
We hung up for a while in UNIMAS and got to reminisce the past. Hahaha... Then, a question popped up from both of our mouths, "Are you single or dating?" We laughed over it later but neither of us got the answer because my friends came and join us later. Hence, Sam left because he had a church meeting to attend to.
We kept in touch pretty often after that - we went out several times in 2008 after I had graduated but he was still in Kuching since engineering courses require 4 years to graduate.
In the mid 2008, when I was back to our hometown, it was such a surprise he called me the morning my flight landed and said he would be around too. I was thoroughly surprised because as far as I knew, it wasn't semester break in public universities and yeah, stuffs like that.
So, we kept SMS-ing a bit before we met up later that night.
We went to an old classmates' gathering over at Cafe Cafe. Well, just like the usual him, shy and quiet but yeah, we did talk. When the gathering was over, he offered to send me home. I was like, "Eh, I get a free lift home?"
On the way home, we kinda updated each other about our lives and that was when I got to know that he just got attached one of his coursemates. I congratulated him without noticing actually he had something on his mind because that night, he kept on sighing. I was laughing about it and told him to cheer up when I had my own agenda going on that time. I was being harassed by a guy that wanted me as a girlfriend and in the end, I had to get Sam's help in pretending to be the boyfriend. Sam didn't hesitate and agreed but I told him, "It'll only be a while. When it's over, I'll buy you a nice dinner!"
Since then, another year went by after I returned to KL and he went back to Kuching.
Come to think of it, it does feel weird that majority of the time I went back to our hometown, he would be there too.
Towards the end of 2008, after my convocation, I went back to our hometown again and well... he called me. LOLX! I was surprised again when he said he was at our hometown too. This time around, we talked over the phone and he told me that his relationship with his girlfriend was going downhill because as much as he cared for the girlfriend, still he did not like the fact that his girlfriend kept on forcing him to move to KL. I got to know from him too that somehow or rather, his girlfriend started to become very, very demanding and started to be orally abusive.
I did not know his girlfriend so, I was in no position to comment. I just zipped my mouth and after that, he asked if we could catch up that night since he would love to see me. I agreed. Well... something cropped up and I had to entertain a gang of kids - read it, yes, a gang of kids! So, there I was, bringing a gang of kids out with me together with my sister. When Sam actually got to the place where we were supposed to meet, I guess he was shocked to see me among all the kids. LOLX! Fancy me being the big kid there.
We talked a while before he decided to leave and actually asked if he could send me home. Throughout the journey home, we reminisced the good old days like why we didn't get in touch earlier and stuffs like that. Well... I bet that is what life is all about, right? You get some, you lose some.
After I got home that night, I completely forgotten about Sam - yeah, COMPLETELY.
Few months later, I got a phone call from him when I was back at KL that he couldn't take it any longer and he wanted a breakup with the girlfriend. He was asking me what he should do.
Being no expert in relationships, yes... mind you... I failed terribly in relationships, so... you know, I know, shut up! I told him to talk to the girlfriend nicely and try to make her understand his situation. Instead, he said he could no longer tolerate her and 2 days later, he SMS-ed me, telling me, "We broke up. I feel so much better now."
After it was over for him, we kinda SMS-ed each other quite often and he would call if he had got nothing to do but like always, I kept on teasing him by telling him, "Hey you, go and find a nice, rich and handsome boyfriend for me."
LOLX! I was stupid.
A week later, he called me again and apologized for letting me down. I was like, "Huh? Did you let me down?"
"We got back together - I had to..." Sam told me.
Then, I got to know that his girlfriend was crying and attempted suicide if he were to leave her.
From the bottom of my heart, I did pity Sam. I knew at that time, he was tensed but no words escaped from my mouth. I just told him if they were meant to be, no matter how, they'll be together. Yeah, I did tell him to be strong too.
We stopped contacting each other after that until mid of 2009, when I was back home for Amy's wedding, I bumped into Sam while I was going out for breakfast. It was another surprise because all those times I thought he wasn't around, he was still around.
Hahahaha... talking about destiny?!
Sam told me he couldn't attend Amy's reception because he had to rush to Miri on a project the next day and after that, he'd need to rush back to the HQ at Kuching for another meeting with his assistant. I thought nothing about it and just teased him again like usual that he'd be missing a lot of fun stuffs!
A week later, when I was leaving for KL once again, I was rushing to the airport because I was obviously late to check myself in. Then, when I was in the departure's lounge, I switched on my mobile and beep, beep, I had an incoming SMS.
"I was standing justa few steps behind you at the check-in counter just now. I saw you with your parents."
I couldn't believe what I had read. I called him immediately.
"I was really behind you and was hoping you'd turn around to at least look at me but you didn't," Sam told me, "I figured out you would be leaving your parents again, so, I didn't want to interfere your mini family reunion."
"Duh, you should have came up to me!" I told him, "I thought you're back at Kuching, why are you still here?"
"I traveled from Miri to Kuching and back here because I had another meeting here this morning, so, I just sent off one of the staff back to Kuching when I saw you," he said.
Like how fairytale can we get?
That was the point when I felt sad that I didn't see him face-to-face before I leave but what could I do?
After Amy's wedding, we kinda stopped contacting each other because well... he has his own life and I have mine.
Few days after 2010 Christmas, we kinda dropped SMS-es in each other's inboxes and well... we met up at Midvalley because he was at KL to visit his girlfriend. Luckily I had Jeremy tagging along with me to meet him or else, I'd die of embarrassment! His girlfriend was so pretty, tall and slim - the exact type of girl any guy would die to get.
I was thinking to myself, "What are the reasons that made him wanted to leave her? I mean, look at her, just like a model!"
We just talked a little while before Sam's girlfriend decided they should leave because they had to meet up with her relatives for dinner. Right after Sam left, Jeremy looked at me and said, "So, he's leaving. Are you sad?"
What was there to feel sad about? I was happy for them!
Life goes on for both of us. No talking, no contacting, no SMS-ing at all for almost one year when just recently, well... as luck would have it, Sam actually dialed the wrong number when he was trying to call his friend and well, he called me instead. LOLX!
Hahahahaha... how very weird!
This morning, while I was still sleeping, I was woken up by a message from Viber. Hahaha! Sam!
Being the typical us, it was funny - he told me to go and get a boyfriend because I am getting older!
The conversation was a little funny indeed because like usual, I'd be teasing him, "Blame it on you, if you'd want me, I am already your girlfriend."
I didn't know what the heck went wrong and somehow, it got serious.
He told me that he thought I rejected him in the first place because he had been trying to drop hints that he was interested to get into a relationship with me but it seemed to him I wasn't interested because I gave no response.
"You totally ignored me," he said.
I was puzzled - when did he hint me? I have no clue at all - for all these times, we have been forever childish and I did not even know there were hints at all.
Only then, I got to know actually all those times I was back at hometown, he traveled back as well so that we could meet up. Then, when he asked me out and I obliged he thought I would have gotten his hint but the fact was, I did not. He asked if I ever thought of the reason why he'd be asking me out so often. I thought he just wanted to catch up and nothing more than that.
Well... noob me... I missed his hints - all of them!
How stupid can I get, right?
Thus... 3 to 4 years have passed where we've came to this point of life where now, he has his own dream whereas for me, I have mine too.
Honestly, I do wonder, what if he opened up to me right in the face and told me he'd want to get into a relationship with me at that point of time. Would I accept or reject the thought?
Anyway, that was the tale that never was.