Why?

As I am documenting each of my feeling down right now, all that I am feeling - I miss you more than words could say. Sometimes, I wish things would stay the way it is from the very beginning but somehow, our relationship took a big turn and our lives are changed - forever.

We started out more than just enemies - we hated each other. We couldn't tolerate the sight of each other. We got annoyed at each other's name. We pretty much did not get along well.

There were times I wished you were not in my way but somehow, fate always seems to prove things will forever happen the opposite of what we have always wanted - our paths crossed. There you were, not my knight in shining armor but my worst nightmare ever.

As time passed by, things started to take their tolls. Little did we know, all the hatred we had for each other would blossom into friendship - a friendship that I never even imagined.

Things got a little complicated and then on, we were suddenly 老公 and 老婆. It wasn't intended - all that happened was that I was hoping you would pay a little bit more attention during class rather than chit-chatting with your friends. You may think I am an idiot but the trick did work - I started to see you paying more attention during class.

Well... we managed to clear our misunderstanding and soon, we started talking more to each other. It was then, I came to realize that we were similar in so many ways. Even those around us were telling us that we were the opposite gender of each other. I guess it could be one of the reasons we hit it off.

From talking to each other to messaging to whatsapp-ing to hanging out.

Do you remember the time when I visited Miri with some of our friends? 

You told me, you were not that close to these friends and yet, you still came because I asked you to. You made yourself available on those two days just to come and see us?

Even though your place is a little bit far away from where we were staying, it did not stop you from meeting up with us.

I wasn't exactly in a good mood at that time but somehow, you managed to cheer me up with your typical annoying jokes.

Do you remember the time when I met your mum for the first time?

Honestly, I wasn't quite prepared for it because I wasn't expecting auntie to want to meet up. My heart was pounding so fast that it almost fell out when I was waiting for you and auntie to arrive. I kept my sanity because I knew I was the one being paranoid.

When you finally sent us off on our last day in Miri, I was feeling weird. That feeling was just like butterflies in the stomach.

It suddenly struck me...

Perhaps, in the past, both of us were too busy hating each other to even notice, "Hey, that's a real awesome person you've got there!"

I seriously did not know why but as days went by, I found myself doing little things for you. On your side, I noticed you were doing the same thing. These were the things that put smiles on our faces as we braced each and every day.

I didn't even get to thank your mum for the yummy cheesecake and the CNY red packet that she sent. Well.. she had to get you to send the cakes and red packets to travel with you to me. Oh, oh... that was the time when you met my parents for the first time too.

The time when you fell sick and your mum called and asked for my help to send you to the hospital, honestly, I wasn't feeling too good myself. I knew I was worried about you but I was too sick to drive that I had to get my sister to be our driver. I ended up vomiting in the car =.="

What a sight to behold!

After that all of us spent the next few hours in the hospital.

Do you remember the first time you stayed over at my place? 

My mum whipped up a simple traditional Chinese chicken mee sua with boiled egg for your dinner? You were enjoying the meal because you told me the mee sua's texture was unique and you had never come across it in Miri.

Fast forward to early March 2015...

I had finally gotten my long-awaited trip to Belawai...

Little did I know you had a little surprise prepared for me at Belawai.

It was a birthday surprise!

I was at a loss of words when you and your friends took out a birthday cake out of nowhere and started to sing the birthday song to me.

To be honest, I felt the butterflies in my stomach again but I ignored it.

I was ready to cry but I held my tears because I knew crying would make me look ugly on a joyful day which was to be celebrated.

You told me, "Sorry, the cake is kinda melting because there is no fridge at my place. The girl at the bakery told me that Tiramisu is the only cake that could last without fridge - hence, the ugly cake."

It was a fruitful day for me because of you and your friends - I was honestly very, very touched and happy. I guess, I managed to hide my feelings quite well.

By the time the day ended, I was dead tired. I fell asleep in the car and this was what you did to me!

I mean, seriously?!

It was really a tiring day - all of us woke up at 5 to get ourselves ready for our Belawai trip and by the time it ended, I didn't even realized I had fallen asleep on our way back home.

I certainly didn't realize what happened but everything between us happened so fast that we started attending events together and soon, we were labelled as 'they come in pair'.

It was really weird - when we were on our own, you would never tease me but when there were friends around, sometimes, I felt like you went over the limit. I told myself that you didn't mean it because those were jokes. Well, I guess there is truth when people say that you get angry or mad because you care, right?

Do you remember the time when you had to go to each and every bakery around town just to custom-made my double-storey birthday cake? 

You told me you were a bit frustrated because you knew how much I wanted triple-storey birthday cake and you couldn't find any bakery that would accept your order. You resorted to ask my sister for help in the end. My sister was laughing and telling me that, "No, you shouldn't get a triple-storey birthday cake for Angel because that means she's gonna be 30 so, get a double-storey cake instead!"

I almost couldn't believe it when you pushed the trolley towards me while singing the birthday song the second time this year. I was very, very, very touched... again, I held back the tears because I was pretending to be the cool kid next door.

Look at my happy face!

When you knew I wasn't having a good day, you would go, "Let's do waffles and pancakes!"

You knew how much I loved waffles and pancakes, just like yourself.

Honestly, I could never imagine how my life would be if you were not there for me. I was thankful and grateful for having you next to me but somehow, good thing always comes to an end.

I had to leave for KL.

I was heavy-hearted but I lied that I wasn't. I lied to each and everyone around me that I wasn't feeling a thing because I knew between you and me, there would never be anything. Again, I pretended to be cool. On the day of my departure, I was really hoping you would at least give me a hug but you didn't.

You saw me getting out of the car and yet, there wasn't even a goodbye.

It broke my heart but I knew you have your reasons for not doing so. I told myself, I didn't wanna know why but I couldn't avoid asking, "Hey, why didn't you give me a goodbye hug? Don't you feel heavy-hearted when I left?"

Your answer was, "I wanted to but there were others around so I didn't do it... Furthermore, I know myself too well. I am scared if I hugged you then, I wouldn't want to let go."

Butterflies in the stomach - again.

I guess God was trying to test my patience. In every friendship or relationship, there is bound to be love and hate.

At the time you denied me, I told myself, "Perhaps, this was only a dream - a dream that I wish would go on forever."

Hearts are left broken with the words left unspoken.

I never really came to realization how true this phrase was.

The time when you told me, "Between us, there is nothing and there never will be anything. I wasn't pursuing you and you will definitely meet a guy who's better than me."

My heart bled. I cried, but, why?

There was nothing I could do. All of a sudden, I felt the distance between us - we were one South China Sea apart from each other.

I started to question God... did I meet the right person at the wrong time?

God, if You were listening or even reading this, is generation or age gap keeping us away from each other?

Why, me?

Why, him?

Why did things have to develop just to have them destroyed again?

If I have to choose to be honest, God, there isn't a day spent without thinking about him. However, I come to understand that there is no point holding on because between us, there are just too many impossibilities.

For once, I will continue to persevere and pretend that nothing happened because just as you have put it, you will definitely meet a better girl in the future and I am pretty certain she would be way better than me. She would be the one who would melt your heart. She would be the one who would hold on to you.

Good luck!

50 First Dates :)

Pretty much reminds me of the movie that I really enjoyed watch years back.

Honestly, when it comes to dating, I guess I am pretty much a rookie because I don't remember having pleasant dating experiences and that sums up why I am still unattached up to this very day.

Whatever the reason is, we are gonna complete this tag today!

1. How long does it take you to get ready for a date?

I would say most probably, I would need about an hour? Well... a girl gotta do what she's gotta do and I am a firm believer in first impression counts.

Once I introduced a friend to my cousin and it ended up disastrous because my friend met my cousin without dressing up at all - a baggy tee with pants plus big, old thick glasses. My cousin told me, "If you're gonna introduce any girl friends to me, please let her know that the basic of all respect in the world is to dress up when you're meeting a person for the first time."

So, girls, please take your time and doll yourself up a little, alright?

2. Whats your idea of a perfect first date?
a) Dinner
b) Drinks
c) Cinema
d) Adventurous dates

I would go for B - drinks. I don't really feel comfortable going for dinner on a first date. If we are comfortable over a cup of tea or coffee, I guess dinner will follow :)

3. What would you gravitate more towards to wear on a date...
a) Jeans
b) Trousers
c) Skirt
d) Dress

Dress all the way, baby - I love dresses. After all, remember my belief on first impression counts?

Dresses can make you look 100 times sweeter and more innocent!

I only dress down when I get to know my date more through time. Then, I would most probably opt for shorts, jeans or tees.

Girls, dress to impress!

4. On the date of your choice what makeup would you wear
a) Girl next door
b) Smokey and sexy
c) Bold lip
d) Brights

I love make-up but for a date, I would easily go for my first look, smokey and sexy.

I am a firm believer that it's either you go big or you go home. Unless my date doesn't really like seeing me with make-up, I will tone it down to girl next door. 

On going out with make-up, well... the same theory applies - if I've gotten to know him, why not?

5. Your date says you have half an hour to be ready what do you do?

If that is a first date - I won't be going if I am not given sufficient time to get ready.

If that is not a first date, I would consider going out with pajamas on, if that doesn't embarrass him.

6. Your date asks for the bill, do you...
a) Offer to pay - with actual meaning to pay
b) Make a fake fuss - with no intention of paying
c) Expect him to pay straight away

I do not expect people to pay for me but if he's gentleman enough, why not?

Regarding bill, if the guy does not even 'offer' to pay and revert the bill to me, no thanks, mister, we are not seeing each other anymore after today.

7. It's time to say goodbye you really like your date do you...
a) Wave
b) Hug
c) Kiss on the cheek
d) Peck
e) Full on smooch

Most probably I would like a hug - I love hugs and occasional kisses but for first date, no thanks... let's just say we would save the best for the last.

I guess that's it about the tag.

This is seriously not the best time to complete this tag because I am deeply affected by quite a number of things right now.

Single-hood

Hi, people of blogosphere!

Just in case you're wondering, the entries on my blog have been scheduled 2.5 weeks prior to today. That's why you see my blog still active. LOLX!

Yes, I am pretty much alive but on the kicking part... nah, I've been too occupied and tired with a lot of things for the previous 2 weeks. Life has not been f-ing awesome because I've been struggling to go through everyday. It has not been pretty bad too, minus the struggling part because I still can go to sleep soundly, waking up to beautiful mornings minus the part when I have to wake up early.

I get lazy at times too because I'm still a human after all. I'm sure you feel so every now and then, right?

I'm sorry to divert you away from the topic of the entry. Let's talk about singlehood today, shall we?

I don't hate to admit I am still single because I'm just too busy for love to come knocking. If something is the truth, why would you hide it? I mean, there is nothing to be ashamed of to even feel lonely. Stupid sister once asked me, "You wake up to so many people around you every morning, what are you feeling lonely about?"

The truth is, she will never come close to understand the feeling of being lonely because she has forever been in a relationship. Erm... the type when she is over with Guy A, she will jump into another new relationship with Guy B after few days - if you get what I mean. When I tell her I am lonely, she'll feel like I am crapping because I have so many friends around me.

It is indeed true for those of you who are either ATTACHED, ENGAGED or MARRIED to tell people like me, "Your turn will come, you don't need to worry."

Well... first thing first, I'm not gonna lie but no matter how many times you're telling me that, I will still worry because you're not in my position to feel the loneliness. The feeling isn't as bad as something inside you has died but it is just the feeling of, "FML!"

Yeah, just the FML part.

I don't know for you but for me, I don't like it when people make remarks, "You're too choosy!", "You ought to lower your expectation!", "You cannot expect these traits from your future partner if you don't own them yourself!" and so on and so for.

I get those remarks all the times especially with my increasing age every year.

Hello... are you me? How do you know I am choosy? How do you know my expectations are high? How do you know what traits I expect from my future partner?

Indeed, it is true when the Chinese says, "If you don't speak, nobody is going to say you're mute."

Sometimes, it is the case of the more you comment or remark, the worse the situation is going to be. So, people, next time, if you're not sure about anything, don't make remarks. It is okay to ASK QUESTIONS but NOT TO MAKE REMARKS but bear in mind the questions asked should be intelligent and not stupid.

Grrr... these stupid people who ask stupid questions really gets on my nerve!

If you wanna know, I do feel lonely especially on Friday nights and also on days when I am alone and wishing hard someone would be there but no, no, no, I am not depressed because of my loneliness. My life still goes on like how it should be and although I do rant about it in real life, still, I gotta do what I have to do to live.

I even try to be positive by telling myself, "Hey, singlehood isn't too bad!"

Yeah, I am deceiving myself but at least I am enjoying life being single, minus the thesis-writing part.

Lemme share with you why I think singlehood isn't so bad even though I do feel lonely at times.

1. You make your own decisions because you're the boss!
2. You are free to do whatever you want because you don't need to ask, "Hey, boyfie, girlfie, can I go hang out with my friends?"
3. You only pay for your own share when you're eating out. I know, you'll think girls always don't pay because guys should. Bah... I've met idiots that expected girls to pay for them!
4. You don't need to spend an hour to put on make-up and dress nicely to impress.
5. You don't need to share the bathroom with another person.
6. You can be always on-the-go because travelling with a partner sucks sometimes. Yeah, I do travel alone, no big deal. Travelling alone isn't so bad actually.
7. You don't need to waste your breath to argue or quarrel with your partner.

I don't know about you but those are the things I enjoy doing, as a single. LOLX!

I am be quite a loner sometimes. I don't hate people but there are just times when you feel like being alone and shut yourself in the room. Other than those, I'm perfectly living my life as a single and though not loving it, I am surviving through it.

Hahaha... I know you must have been wondering what I do from Monday to Sunday, being a single, right? Well... there are a lot of things I can do actually but I'm not gonna tell you everything because I don't you all to think that I'm trying to ask you to live my life by my standard.

Whatever it is, although singlehood doesn't rock but at least it is not too terrible.

Happy Tuesday, people!

Dr. Wong and I

I hate to admit it but I've gotten my heart broken again just 2 weeks back. As much as I hoped things would work out between us but it didn't and it ended up the harsh way that I never expected it'd happen.

Remember the time when I've mentioned that there's a price to pay for dating a professional? I guess I am paying the price now - torments, pains and also heartbreaks.

Lemme resound my story and you be the judge.

I got to know Dr. Wong about 3 to 4 months back and at that point of time, I was going through some family issues because everything within the family was so messy to the point I wanted to give up but Dr. Wong was with me from day to night and night to day. He was the one giving me endless supports and advices.

Well, quite a nice guy, right?

Yeah, I guess that was one of the reasons why I fell for him in the first place and it didn't happen over night. Another reason why the feelings developed was because he told me, "No matter what, when or how, in my eyes, you're my Miss Perfect. You'll never be wrong and even if you are wrong, it'll be my fault. If you're late, I will wait, if you're crying, I'll wipe your tears, if you need a hug, I will be next to you. I will never break your heart like other jerks you've met."

How many girls out there will not fall for a guy like Dr. Wong?

When we first started out, I was a little skeptical because both of us wanted to keep things on low profile since we did not know how things would turn out for us but Dr. Wong assured me that he will work hard for this relationship to happen and I trusted him. Only some of my close friends knew him but that was the starting point of our first ever argument. He didn't like the fact that our friends knew about our relationship. This included our parents.

Being daddy's girl, the first person I told was dad and dad was really happy for me because I was asked to go for a match-making session earlier but I kept on declining but this time around, I had a reason to turn them down.

Dr. Wong was super mad at me but at the same time, he said, "I don't want you to go match-making but at the same time, can you just not tell your parents about us yet? Our relationship isn't really stable."

I had to agree with him but to the point of not letting my parents know, I thought it was a little weird. So, everything went alright because he gave in to me in the end. Awww... that was why I had fallen for him.

The second time when we quarreled was because of his time management. How can you expect your partner to keep on waiting for you and having you not turning up? I mean, hey... this is only courtship and you're not willing to show up?

Okay, I've to admit now, I only got to see Dr. Wong like once a week because according to him, a doctor is always busy and with him being the future specialist, his private time is limited. He could only make out a day out of a week for me.

I was okay with that because I thought to myself, "I'm gonna be an understanding girlfriend to him. It's not that he doesn't want come but he's busy with work."

Little did I know I was so wrong.

On the day as fate would have it, I was picking up my sister at Lot 10 when my instinct told me to just go for a walk. Earlier that day, Dr. Wong was SMS-ing me non-stop asking me what would I be doing, where would I be and not to stay outside too long. Well, I was happy at the thought my boyfriend cared about me. Just as I've sent him a SMS, "I'm going home now," as luck would have it, I bumped into him at Lot 10's entrance.

I couldn't believe my eyes. A moment ago, he was telling me he had just gotten home from doing oncall and was gonna sleep a bit before coming over to my place later that night and then, I saw him with my very eyes, alive, standing right in front of me and... HE WAS FREAKING HOLDING ANOTHER GIRL'S HAND AND HE WAS CARRYING HER HANDBAG FOR HER!

I wished I would have caught the wrong person but I knew I wasn't wrong when stupid sister told me it was him! He couldn't even utter a word in front of me when he saw me. Even when I called him, he was pretending that he was out with his friends and later that day, he told me, "She is my ex."

What the fuck is he trying to pull?

Am I a retard?

At that point of time, I finally came to realization why all these times, when I offered to send him lunch or dinner to HUKM, he turned me down. When he said he wanted to see me and I told him I'd go over to the hospital, he declined. When I asked if he was busy or not, for always, he would have something up. Whenever he came to my place, it'd be after 10pm.

I felt like a mistress all of a sudden.

If a relationship comes to this stage where you see your other half being with another person, what would you say?

His stupid explanation was easy, "She was my ex and my parents' favourite, so, they asked me to go back to her."

Great, right?

I remember, on our second date, it was coincidentally, I saw a lovey-dovey SMS on his Galaxy Ace and that was the starting point when I suspected him of dating another girl behind me. Instead of demanding for an explanation, I kept quiet because I wanted to respect him, who knows she might just be another girl who pursues him since Dr. Wong is physically fit and quite good-looking? So, I kept the thought to myself and said nothing about it.

Even when Albert was trying to warn me, "Angel, if one of these days, you bump into your boyfriend holding another girl's hand, what would you do?"

I even told Albert to respect us and that Dr. Wong would never treat me that way.

As of now, I am mending my broken heart. Yes, it might be my fault, it might be that I am the third party between him and that girl and yes, that girl could be in the same situation as me but who cares? I'm through a guy like him - cheater and liar!

I will just sit back and mend my broken heart no matter how long it takes.

You don't have to worry about me because I'm doing okay since, obviously, it wasn't my fault because I didn't go and date another guy plus, I really tried to be an understanding girlfriend but I failed. Nevertheless, that isn't an issue now because...

Life is too precious and beautiful to let go just because of a cheater and liar.

If I were to be given a choice if you'd want a boyfriend like that or stay single, I'd choose to stay single rather than being in a wrong relationship.

Sometimes, you just have to listen to the people and voices around you because you might not be right all the times.

Staying strong is one issue while believing is another.

The Dating Game

Let's take a break from all the hauls for a while, shall we?

If I post more entries on my recent hauls, for sure some of the people I know, they're gonna label me as a show-off or even, big-time spender or something like, she's a total high-maintenance girl. Before you whip my arse for whatever reason, I do earn to support myself, okay?! Enough say!

Seriously, I am NO pro at dates but I always have my very own two cents on this issue, especially when I've been through countless heartbreaks and stuffs like that over the years.


It has been 4.5 years since I last dated anyone and to be honest, I'm a loser at the game of dating because for some reasons, I seemed to be bumping into one Mr. Wrong after another. It's either I bump into...

• Mr. Jerk - A useless guy who eyes on your saving account and loves making fun of you about your physical appearances in front of your friends. He is that kind of guy who always embarrasses you because he thinks he's more superior than you. Other than that, he always think, "No matter how I make fun of her, she'll still be with me because she has no other suitors."
  
  
• Mr. Sex Maniac - Although I don't oppose the idea of one night stand or anything, it doesn't mean I'm that kinda girl who's supporting it either. I'm neither. So, Mr. Sex Maniac happens to look like boy-next-door, acting all innocent and stuffs but once he's near you, all he will try to do is to get you to have sex with him with no strings attached. He will tell you stuffs like, "Baby, it's not one night stand, I wanna make love to you because I love you." Maybe sometimes, if he is more aggressive, he will tell you, "Let's have sex! You're not losing anything because in the end we'll still get married."
  
  
• Mr. Time Waster - I don't know about you but for me, Mr. Time Waster is the exact kind of guy whom I abhor. He knows you guys will not end up being together but still, he's trying to hold you on because he's still in the mid of searching for his true Miss Right and it so happens you're NOT his Miss Right but you're just someone whom he thinks that can boost his self-esteem because he thinks, "Hey, she likes me!" He will never tell you to go into serious relationship nor something like, "You're the one I've been waiting for." The reason is as simple as you're just his toy.
  
  
• Mr. Dishonest - "I will be there for you if you ever need me to. I will never leave you. I don't think there's a point for me to hide anything from you. I wanna be as honest to you as possible because I care and I don't want to lie to you." Well, the fact is... he is already lying to you when he tells you all these. If a guy truly means what he says, he'll prove it by going an extra mile, even if that means traveling as far as 4 hours a day to just catch a glimpse of you but if you guys are staying just 15 minutes away from each other and he has his own transport but you're wondering why the hell are you guys not seeing each other when he has promised that he'll meet you, then, something must be VERY FUCKING WRONG with this guy!
  
  
  
• Mr. Stress-is-Everything - "I will get back to you, okay? I'm really busy right now and I've got so many things to be stressed about. My boss is giving me such a high expectation and I need to perform." So, in the end, Mr. Stress will forever be stressed up, thus... you, even not as his official girlfriend yet although he says you're special to him, be ditched and forgotten because work is far more important to him than you are. Ouch, that hurts but yes, that's the fact that you should face if you're dating Mr. Stress because for him, even being in a relationship with you could bring more stresses to him.
  
  
• Mr. Realistic - It's not wrong to be realistic but for us, girls, sometimes, we just want someone to listen to us but not to give some stupid realistic advices although it could be the best thing for us. Females are programmed to be more emotional, hence, it's not wrong when we grumble a bit. Mr. Realistic, in this case, he'll always go, "Since this is the life you've chosen, why not just bear with it? Life is all about the choices you've made, so, why complain?" If you're dating this guy, dump him, you don't need someone like that!
  
  
• Mr. Playboy - "I will break up with my girlfriend and be with you soon, please give me some time to settle this relationship issue." So, does your boyfriend tell you that? If your answer is a yes, then, be expected to hear the follow-up story like, "Darn, is that your boyfriend? He's dating my other friend too and worse still, he's dating me as well!" Fuck this kinda guy because in the end, he'll tell you, "I'm sorry, dear... after a thorough thought, I can't leave my girlfriend because I need her." Ah... typical playboy! You're yet just a toy for him to kill his time since the girlfriend is just too busy to entertain him.
  
  
• Mr. Show Off - "I don't think they can pay me as well as the company I am serving now. You know, they pay me RM27000 each month and I expect more than that if I'm switching to another job. Further more, I've my own personal space given in the office! How cool is that?" Oh, so you earn RM27K every month. Well... good for you but is it my problem?! I guess not, hence, you don't need to show off to me or any other girl out there that you earn a certain amount and that some other companies cannot afford to hire you. In reality, you're just a piece of shit and nothing more, nothing less.
  
  
• Mr. Avoid-the-Reality - Come on, face it, you're an adult already if you're thinking about finding the right girl, settle down and to start a family with her even if it means you're only 21 or 22. When something crops up, Mr. Avoid-the-Reality will normally like his nickname, avoids you. He will stop contacting you, he will stop talking to you, he will then, go and find another victim so that when the victim falls for him or something, he'll start the avoiding game all over again. Girls, we don't need this kinda guy, do we? Adults shouldn't be avoiding issues and problems but they have to come face-to-face with it even if it means the relationship between both of them is not bound to happen. Why the hell do you need to avoid if talking things out could be better for both parties? Silence is gold? I tell you, BULLSHIT! Silence kills!
  
  
• Mr. Listen-to-My-Friends - "Hey, we don't think that girl suits you! She's only eyeing your saving account and also, the reason why she's still with you is only that you're doing something she likes. So, as your best friends, listen to us - dump her!" Oh, I'd hate to say this but if you have a boyfriend or if you know your boyfriend is this kinda guy, lemme tell you, fuck him! How old do you think you are, listening to your friends and that you can't make up your own mind? Are you retarded or what? Isn't your brain fully developed to make your own decisions? If you friends mean more than your girlfriend or potential girlfriend-to-be, then, marry your friends even if it means you've gotta turn into a homosexual! It's like, who cares?
  

I think if I were to rant about how many different misters I've met over the years, the list will be endless because seriously, I've met these guys and somehow or rather, over the years, it has make me stop trusting that LOVE will ever happen in my life.

I doubt it.

I remember, I was talking to bestie regarding the whole dating game issue and she told me, "You're so lucky that you get to bump into all sorta different guys while I don't and I won't be able to do so because I'm married. Count your blessings, Angel!"

ROFL!

Count my blessings? Those certainly are NOT blessings!

Granted a chance, I'd rather give up the opportunity of bumping into 100 Mr. Potential Boyfriend-to-be to meeting just ONE, yes, ONE IS ENOUGH, Mr. Right. I don't need 100 chances to meet these guys but, I just need one chance to meet the right HIM and if I ever do, I will do whatever it takes to safe-keep what we share in common and also to withhold what God has bestowed upon me.

I am not the kinda girl who gets lucky when it comes to relationship, hence, it explains why am I such a loser in this game.

Alright, alright... Imma not gonna rant about how sucky I am but after going through few self-help and motivational books, I guess, I'm willing to share some of the things I've learned with you lucky girls out there, especially for your first dates because first impression is usually very long-lasting and it's pretty much dependent on how you perform during your first date so that there will be second, third, fourth and so on.

1. Don't talk to much but don't be a retard - you may disagree but usually, most of the guys, they're NOT interested in your stories because they're more interested in GOING DOWN on you since... ooh, your two boobies look nice out of your bra! If you're too quiet, girls, the guys will think you're a retard or maybe mute! Crack a joke or something! Respond when they're asking questions! You're not an idiot, right?
   
   
2. Leave your past relationships out of the scenes - the guys are NOT interested in your past relationships because for sure, they'll think, "She's just a loser, no wonder she's still single up to this point!" There are tons of other things to talk about, so, just keep your past relationships to yourself and let them serve you as part of your memories!
   
   
   
3. Dress to impress - I have a friend who told me, "If a guy fancies me, he has to love me the way I am! I don't think I need to change just because of him!" Well, girls, if you're thinking just like that friend of mine, be prepared to fail the dating game because, like I've said, first impression counts! It's only after you've get into a relationship with this guy and both of you are comfortable with each other that you can dress down a bit. If you're thinking guys should love you the way you are, you're ABSOLUTELY WRONG because guys usually SEE more than they hear or feel. They're visually orientated creatures!
   
   
4. Please apply a little makeup - it doesn't hurt or kill for you to apply a thin layer of blusher and also lipstick or lip gloss, right? Hey, guys are visually orientated, if they like what they see, good for you but if you disgusted them with your old-fashioned glasses and all, sad to say but buh-bye! All the talks about, physical appearance isn't important will only make sense once you guys are IN a relationship, or else, again, buh-bye and sayonara!
   
   
5. Be more open-minded - the same friend told me, "I expect him to pursue me. You can't expect me to go crawling to him, telling him that I'm into him, after all, guys should be initiating first moves! I'm NOT gonna pursue him. He SHOULD come to me!" Face it, girl, if you're totally worth any guy's pursuance, I don't think you'll need any matchmaker, right? The truth is, you need a matchmaker but you refuse to make any action but at the same time, expecting the guy to approach you when honestly, I don't think he will since there are still so many more attractive and younger girls out there!
   
   
6. Don't act needy or that you own the guy - honestly, I sucks here! I'm not a dictator but I think I'm more towards the needy side, hence, no wonder, most of the times, relationships didn't work out for me. At least I learn something now. Truth is... although you know he's the one you're into, but then again, do you really need to show it to him? I guess not. Just be yourself, be happy and lead a life like you normally would without him after all, no matter what happens, life goes on.
   
   
7. Bring your own transport or use public transport - don't ever count on the guys to pick you up or send you home - be independent especially during first dates. We don't really need a lift even if he insists out of courtesy. Well, it's also safer that way.
   
   
8. Thank the guy - even if it means you're paying for your own share, thank him for his time. Thanking is out of courtesy and not because you're into him or anything. This is the most basic of all manners and if you fail, you'll fail terribly! If he doesn't appreciate having you thanking him, girls, he's NOT your Mr. Right.
   
   
9. Be sensitive and never straight-away believe whatever he tells you - well, chances are that liars are everywhere. You will never know when you'll bump into one, hence take extra precautions so that you will NOT get your heart breaks if you've found out he lies.
   
   
   
10. Be cautious of how you bring yourself in front of him - don't burp, don't skip along like a child, don't be pretentious and don't be something you're not just to impress him or even getting his attention. At the same time, NEVER be yourself because he might not like it. Just smile to him and nod your head and things like that if you don't know how to answer his questions. Be down-to-earth and yet humble, be relevant and yet stay in your personal space, be happy and yet not over the moon, be optimistic yet not lying. If he doesn't appreciate you, then, say goodbye to him!
    

I have more than what I've listed above to share but since I'm feeling lethargic, I guess I should be bunking in. My working week starts tomorrow and seriously, it sucks!

I shall blog again real soon! Happy Tuesday, people!

** Disclaimer - I don't claim I am a pro in relationships or stuffs like that. These are just something I've read in the books and I'm just sharing it with readers. If you have your own thoughts regarding the dating game, feel free to drop your comments and if you disagree with me, just scram because... I don't claim I'm a pro!