As much as I wish all these never take place, still, I know I can't go against our destinies. Perhaps, destiny is the only reason why he chose to let go.
I never wanted to let go in the very beginning and honestly, even up to now, I'm really having tough times trying to get over it. Partly because we're working together and sometimes, I find it hard not to let the memories of everything lingering about. Those memories will just bounce back at the moment I see him from time to time.
What does our destinies hold actually?
The other day, when all of us were at Relay for Life 2009, I was hiding away at the back of the tent, weeping. It was really hard because we were all sitting down next to each other. He was sitting right in front of me but both of us were pretending nothing ever happened and we weren't even talking to each other.
It hurts a lot when that somebody is ignoring you.
Yes, we are no longer related and I'm the one who finds it so hard to put the memories behind because between him and I, there are just so many memories.
I was talking to Dee and Awis about it and both of them were more than worried that I could not pull through.
Honestly, I'm doing fine. It's just that sometimes, I feel terrible when it comes to facing him at work. Yes, it is hard as I've said but like what I've told both Dee and Awis, "Things will be fine. I will be fine because I have to be fine."
Sigh... Maybe things will be a lot easier if I don't get to see him.
As the matter of fact, I'll be transferred to Menara Hap Seng from The Weld starting 13th to 22nd of June. Although it's only for a short period of 9 to 10 days, at least it'll make me feel better not having to face him for that period of time.
As promised to fellow friends, I'll be good, yes, things will be fine. I'm stronger than what I seem to be, alright?
Anyway, update again tonight - need to go and send my car into car-hospital. Tayar pancit. Suey betul!