If I post more entries on my recent hauls, for sure some of the people I know, they're gonna label me as a show-off or even, big-time spender or something like, she's a total high-maintenance girl. Before you whip my arse for whatever reason, I do earn to support myself, okay?! Enough say!
Seriously, I am NO pro at dates but I always have my very own two cents on this issue, especially when I've been through countless heartbreaks and stuffs like that over the years.
It has been 4.5 years since I last dated anyone and to be honest, I'm a loser at the game of dating because for some reasons, I seemed to be bumping into one Mr. Wrong after another. It's either I bump into...
- Mr. Jerk - A useless guy who eyes on your saving account and loves making fun of you about your physical appearances in front of your friends. He is that kind of guy who always embarrasses you because he thinks he's more superior than you. Other than that, he always think, "No matter how I make fun of her, she'll still be with me because she has no other suitors."
- Mr. Sex Maniac - Although I don't oppose the idea of one night stand or anything, it doesn't mean I'm that kinda girl who's supporting it either. I'm neither. So, Mr. Sex Maniac happens to look like boy-next-door, acting all innocent and stuffs but once he's near you, all he will try to do is to get you to have sex with him with no strings attached. He will tell you stuffs like, "Baby, it's not one night stand, I wanna make love to you because I love you." Maybe sometimes, if he is more aggressive, he will tell you, "Let's have sex! You're not losing anything because in the end we'll still get married."
- Mr. Time Waster - I don't know about you but for me, Mr. Time Waster is the exact kind of guy whom I abhor. He knows you guys will not end up being together but still, he's trying to hold you on because he's still in the mid of searching for his true Miss Right and it so happens you're NOT his Miss Right but you're just someone whom he thinks that can boost his self-esteem because he thinks, "Hey, she likes me!" He will never tell you to go into serious relationship nor something like, "You're the one I've been waiting for." The reason is as simple as you're just his toy.
- Mr. Dishonest - "I will be there for you if you ever need me to. I will never leave you. I don't think there's a point for me to hide anything from you. I wanna be as honest to you as possible because I care and I don't want to lie to you." Well, the fact is... he is already lying to you when he tells you all these. If a guy truly means what he says, he'll prove it by going an extra mile, even if that means traveling as far as 4 hours a day to just catch a glimpse of you but if you guys are staying just 15 minutes away from each other and he has his own transport but you're wondering why the hell are you guys not seeing each other when he has promised that he'll meet you, then, something must be VERY FUCKING WRONG with this guy!
- Mr. Stress-is-Everything - "I will get back to you, okay? I'm really busy right now and I've got so many things to be stressed about. My boss is giving me such a high expectation and I need to perform." So, in the end, Mr. Stress will forever be stressed up, thus... you, even not as his official girlfriend yet although he says you're special to him, be ditched and forgotten because work is far more important to him than you are. Ouch, that hurts but yes, that's the fact that you should face if you're dating Mr. Stress because for him, even being in a relationship with you could bring more stresses to him.
- Mr. Realistic - It's not wrong to be realistic but for us, girls, sometimes, we just want someone to listen to us but not to give some stupid realistic advices although it could be the best thing for us. Females are programmed to be more emotional, hence, it's not wrong when we grumble a bit. Mr. Realistic, in this case, he'll always go, "Since this is the life you've chosen, why not just bear with it? Life is all about the choices you've made, so, why complain?" If you're dating this guy, dump him, you don't need someone like that!
- Mr. Playboy - "I will break up with my girlfriend and be with you soon, please give me some time to settle this relationship issue." So, does your boyfriend tell you that? If your answer is a yes, then, be expected to hear the follow-up story like, "Darn, is that your boyfriend? He's dating my other friend too and worse still, he's dating me as well!" Fuck this kinda guy because in the end, he'll tell you, "I'm sorry, dear... after a thorough thought, I can't leave my girlfriend because I need her." Ah... typical playboy! You're yet just a toy for him to kill his time since the girlfriend is just too busy to entertain him.
- Mr. Show Off - "I don't think they can pay me as well as the company I am serving now. You know, they pay me RM27000 each month and I expect more than that if I'm switching to another job. Further more, I've my own personal space given in the office! How cool is that?" Oh, so you earn RM27K every month. Well... good for you but is it my problem?! I guess not, hence, you don't need to show off to me or any other girl out there that you earn a certain amount and that some other companies cannot afford to hire you. In reality, you're just a piece of shit and nothing more, nothing less.
- Mr. Avoid-the-Reality - Come on, face it, you're an adult already if you're thinking about finding the right girl, settle down and to start a family with her even if it means you're only 21 or 22. When something crops up, Mr. Avoid-the-Reality will normally like his nickname, avoids you. He will stop contacting you, he will stop talking to you, he will then, go and find another victim so that when the victim falls for him or something, he'll start the avoiding game all over again. Girls, we don't need this kinda guy, do we? Adults shouldn't be avoiding issues and problems but they have to come face-to-face with it even if it means the relationship between both of them is not bound to happen. Why the hell do you need to avoid if talking things out could be better for both parties? Silence is gold? I tell you, BULLSHIT! Silence kills!
- Mr. Listen-to-My-Friends - "Hey, we don't think that girl suits you! She's only eyeing your saving account and also, the reason why she's still with you is only that you're doing something she likes. So, as your best friends, listen to us - dump her!" Oh, I'd hate to say this but if you have a boyfriend or if you know your boyfriend is this kinda guy, lemme tell you, fuck him! How old do you think you are, listening to your friends and that you can't make up your own mind? Are you retarded or what? Isn't your brain fully developed to make your own decisions? If you friends mean more than your girlfriend or potential girlfriend-to-be, then, marry your friends even if it means you've gotta turn into a homosexual! It's like, who cares?
I doubt it.
I remember, I was talking to bestie regarding the whole dating game issue and she told me, "You're so lucky that you get to bump into all sorta different guys while I don't and I won't be able to do so because I'm married. Count your blessings, Angel!"
Count my blessings? Those certainly are NOT blessings!
Granted a chance, I'd rather give up the opportunity of bumping into 100 Mr. Potential Boyfriend-to-be to meeting just ONE, yes, ONE IS ENOUGH, Mr. Right. I don't need 100 chances to meet these guys but, I just need one chance to meet the right HIM and if I ever do, I will do whatever it takes to safe-keep what we share in common and also to withhold what God has bestowed upon me.
I am not the kinda girl who gets lucky when it comes to relationship, hence, it explains why am I such a loser in this game.
Alright, alright... Imma not gonna rant about how sucky I am but after going through few self-help and motivational books, I guess, I'm willing to share some of the things I've learned with you lucky girls out there, especially for your first dates because first impression is usually very long-lasting and it's pretty much dependent on how you perform during your first date so that there will be second, third, fourth and so on.
- Don't talk to much but don't be a retard - you may disagree but usually, most of the guys, they're NOT interested in your stories because they're more interested in GOING DOWN on you since... ooh, your two boobies look nice out of your bra! If you're too quiet, girls, the guys will think you're a retard or maybe mute! Crack a joke or something! Respond when they're asking questions! You're not an idiot, right?
- Leave your past relationships out of the scenes - the guys are NOT interested in your past relationships because for sure, they'll think, "She's just a loser, no wonder she's still single up to this point!" There are tons of other things to talk about, so, just keep your past relationships to yourself and let them serve you as part of your memories!
- Dress to impress - I have a friend who told me, "If a guy fancies me, he has to love me the way I am! I don't think I need to change just because of him!" Well, girls, if you're thinking just like that friend of mine, be prepared to fail the dating game because, like I've said, first impression counts! It's only after you've get into a relationship with this guy and both of you are comfortable with each other that you can dress down a bit. If you're thinking guys should love you the way you are, you're ABSOLUTELY WRONG because guys usually SEE more than they hear or feel. They're visually orientated creatures!
- Please apply a little makeup - it doesn't hurt or kill for you to apply a thin layer of blusher and also lipstick or lip gloss, right? Hey, guys are visually orientated, if they like what they see, good for you but if you disgusted them with your old-fashioned glasses and all, sad to say but buh-bye! All the talks about, physical appearance isn't important will only make sense once you guys are IN a relationship, or else, again, buh-bye and sayonara!
- Be more open-minded - the same friend told me, "I expect him to pursue me. You can't expect me to go crawling to him, telling him that I'm into him, after all, guys should be initiating first moves! I'm NOT gonna pursue him. He SHOULD come to me!" Face it, girl, if you're totally worth any guy's pursuance, I don't think you'll need any matchmaker, right? The truth is, you need a matchmaker but you refuse to make any action but at the same time, expecting the guy to approach you when honestly, I don't think he will since there are still so many more attractive and younger girls out there!
- Don't act needy or that you own the guy - honestly, I sucks here! I'm not a dictator but I think I'm more towards the needy side, hence, no wonder, most of the times, relationships didn't work out for me. At least I learn something now. Truth is... although you know he's the one you're into, but then again, do you really need to show it to him? I guess not. Just be yourself, be happy and lead a life like you normally would without him after all, no matter what happens, life goes on.
- Bring your own transport or use public transport - don't ever count on the guys to pick you up or send you home - be independent especially during first dates. We don't really need a lift even if he insists out of courtesy. Well, it's also safer that way.
- Thank the guy - even if it means you're paying for your own share, thank him for his time. Thanking is out of courtesy and not because you're into him or anything. This is the most basic of all manners and if you fail, you'll fail terribly! If he doesn't appreciate having you thanking him, girls, he's NOT your Mr. Right.
- Be sensitive and never straight-away believe whatever he tells you - well, chances are that liars are everywhere. You will never know when you'll bump into one, hence take extra precautions so that you will NOT get your heart breaks if you've found out he lies.
- Be cautious of how you bring yourself in front of him - don't burp, don't skip along like a child, don't be pretentious and don't be something you're not just to impress him or even getting his attention. At the same time, NEVER be yourself because he might not like it. Just smile to him and nod your head and things like that if you don't know how to answer his questions. Be down-to-earth and yet humble, be relevant and yet stay in your personal space, be happy and yet not over the moon, be optimistic yet not lying. If he doesn't appreciate you, then, say goodbye to him!
I shall blog again real soon! Happy Tuesday, people!
** Disclaimer - I don't claim I am a pro in relationships or stuffs like that. These are just something I've read in the books and I'm just sharing it with readers. If you have your own thoughts regarding the dating game, feel free to drop your comments and if you disagree with me, just scram because... I don't claim I'm a pro!