Thursday, June 21, 2012

Ask and you shall receive

If you don't know yet, I am a Roman Catholic and I've been through baptism, confession, holy communion as well as confirmation.

If you know me in person, I don't think the adjectives "holy" and "religious" are plastered on my face. In fact, I used to skip Sunday masses and even missing days of obligations so often that I have lost count. Going through an unhappy teenage years have totally made me thought God is unfair and God doesn't love me just like how He has loved others.

Whenever anything happened, I would put the blame on God that He has not been taking care of me. There was even a point of time when I told myself that I should just stop going to church because God wouldn't care. I thought to myself if He would care, He wouldn't give me hopes and ruining them altogether.

Remember Dr. Wong and I?

Remember Euvern and I?

Remember Raph and I?

I asked God, "What did I do to deserve all these?"

I asked God, "If You knew they were not the right one for me, why would You break my heart by giving me false hopes? Am I not Your child?"

I questioned the faith I have had since I was a child that God would carry my burden together with me because after so many things happened in life, I realized nobody was ever there for me. It had been all about me, myself and I. I was tired of life. I blamed God. I blamed Him for creating all these pains and torments because aside from traumatic relationship issues, I faced other problems and complications in life.

I remember telling dad how disappointed I was with God because from what the bible said that He would always be with us, I felt He wasn't there for me. Thus, I stopped going to the church because no matter what I did, I would not succeed in anything.

However, all those have changed through time.

Lately, I have been getting several comments from friends that I have changed. Seriously, I don't know and don't realize how all these took place and stuffs like that. From all that I know, I am going back to church and trying very hard not to miss any days of obligations.

Perhaps, it is true that as you age, you grow wiser.

I am not trying to say I am damn smart or anything but it is true that as you grow older, you tend to sit down and think of all those good old days. There are times when I would question myself on all my childish and immature acts in the past. Then, I realized perhaps, all these times, God has been with me. It was only that I realized it a little later.

Lemme refresh my own memory.

Situation 1

I remember telling God, "I want a doctor boyfriend. No matter what kind of guy I am going to get, just let him be a doctor."

God answered my prayer.

He gave me Dr. Wong.

We were in a relationship for 2 months before I saw him hand-in-hand with another girl at Lot 10.

Then, I realized, perhaps it was God's grace that I discovered Dr. Wong is a moron that toyed with my feelings. If it wasn't because of God, I wouldn't be able to know Dr. Wong is such a dick!

Situation 2

I asked God, "When will I be able to lose weight? I want to fit into a lot of nice clothes!"

God answered my prayer.

I managed to lose weight after so many years and keeping it off.

The thing is, we girls, we never learn to be grateful. God gave me the will and perseverance to lose weight but I had to do it by working real hard. At the same time, remember my story about why I wanted to lose weight? Well, if you don't know, it was because of a guy called Raphael. I just wanted him to look at me, once would be enough and guess what, God gave me motivation!

Situation 3

I asked God, "This is unfair. You brought me into this piece of pain in the arse by doing masters and now, you're giving up on me I don't want anything else, God, I just want to get through all the torments of writing thesis!"

God answered my prayer.

Even though I did not get through my masters with flying colours but at least I have gotten through it successfully with His grace and blessings.

What is there more to ask for?

Situation 4

I asked God, "Why is that everyone gets their fair chance of working in Singapore and why is it that I never get any chance even for an interview there? All I wanted is just a chance!"

God answered my prayer.

I was at Singapore last month for an interview at one of the colleges as Student Care Executive.

God gave me what I asked Him for but it was me, I declined the college's offer because the pay was too low and the interview was a b*tch.

You guys know what?

The worst thing in life is not blaming God for what He has not given you.

The worse thing in life is when you do not realize God is working wonders in your life and not being grateful for all His blessings!

Seek and you shall find,
Ask and you shall receive,
Knock and the door will be opened for you.

I am lucky that I realized I was wrong in the past and yeah, God does love me!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Yea, definitely loves u! :)