Sunday, June 17, 2012

My dad, my hero

Reality sucks but that's life if you don't know.

When I was a kid, I remember how I went against my parents just because I thought, "I am old enough to do this!" 

No, I wasn't a rebellious kid but it was just that I used to have regular b*tch fits all the times because I thought the world is unfair. I mean, look at how I looked like in the past and tell me that you love me, then, most probably I would get over my previous b*tch fits.

Even thought I always had scary mood swings, I grew up being terrified of especially my mum. Dad has forever been our Mr. Nice Guy because he would be the place where we seek comfort, especially after mum punished us.

I guess all of us have our own childhood memories of their parents, right?

I couldn't wait to leave home right after I did my Form 6 and I remember, back then, I was more than just happy because I thought I could finally get out of home to start a new life.

True enough, a new life awaited and ever since I left home for KL, 7 years have passed. Yes, can you actually believe it? I have been here for the past 7 years. These 7 years truly have taught me so many things - being independent, learning to stand on my own feet and to face the world alone. Even so, both of my parents would be here to give endless supports and advices.

As years go by, I finally came to realization my parents are not getting any younger. I remember, I was asking Jeff a.k.a. Mr. Dimples the other day, "What is the reason that makes you come back to Kuching?"

His answer was simple, "It hurts to see my parents getting older as the years pass by. Every time I was home from Australia, I see them age. I feel the need to be by their side now."

I finally came to understand that yeah, my mum and dad will not get any younger when mum called me one day and said, "Oh, your dad is at your aunt's place. He wanna hang out with your aunt's grandchildren."

Yeah, right... To be honest, I felt bad for dad at that point of time.

I do know how much dad wishes he could be a granddad but among all of my siblings, none of us could fulfil his dream of having grandchildren as of now. I wish I could but sorry, no boyfriend, no husband, thus, no children or grandchildren.

Dad always hopes we would return home after graduation but my siblings and I graduated, we came to realization no matter how much we want to go home, there is no job available at our hometown that will pay us decently. Imagine owning a degree and you only earn RM1200 to RM1500 a month.

It is truly sad whenever I think of my parents, alone at home at our hometown with the children scattered all over KL. I guess only those of you who have left home for a period of time will understand what I am feeling right now.

For 7 years, I couldn't celebrate Mothers' and Fathers' Days with my parents. I couldn't celebrate their birthdays with them. I couldn't be there where there were events or occasions within the family. Believe me, it does feel bad not being able to be with your parents. I think only those who experience all those I have been through will understand.

So, every year for the past 7 years, whenever it's Mothers' or Fathers' Day or birthdays, we tried to at least get our parents to KL for a be-early or belated celebration.

You are right, that is my dad blowing out the candles on his birthday cake while the other picture, that is yours truly, posing for the camera with the lamest pose. LOLX!

By the way, do I look like my dad?

Since it is Fathers' Day today, I am gonna dedicate an entry in my blog especially for my dad.

Dad has always tell us to be humble and to be grateful with all those we have because there are others who are not as lucky as us. He taught us to learn to be thankful even though life is simple.

Even if we have only sweet potatoes for ever meal, we should thank God for the meals.

Dad even told us to be contented with what we have in life because not everyone will have what we have. I guess dad could fake it as philosophical doctor with all his lifetime philosophies of the need to be thankful and grateful for whatever we have.

I am someone with big dreams and sometimes, when my dreams fail, I would be very disappointed with myself. When that happens, dad would be there to tell me, "God has a better plan for you."

I think I know where I get my love-for-food genes from - dad. LOLX! Hahaha... he loves shopping for food as well as discovering new food.

For real, dad accompanies us everywhere if we wanna go food-hunting. LOLX! The funny thing is, he would always check out the price on the menu before ordering and while he does that, he would always shook his head from left to right to left to right again and again, saying, "No, no, no... that is soooo expensive. No, no, no, no, no..." 

No matter what it is, my dad will forever be my hero - a place where I can always seek comfort and advices.

Oh, well... so much for ramblings on Fathers' Day, huh? I can go on and on and on regarding how great my dad is and stuffs like that but I don't think any of you wanna read that too. I doubt if there is anyone reading this entry as well.

Anyway, I'm gonna end this entry with a portrait of me and my family.

Honestly, I am proud to be in the family. I am proud to have the most loving and supportive parents ever. I am glad and grateful that both of you never give up on me even though there were times I almost gave up on myself.

Happy Fathers' Day to all fathers out there and for my very own special dad...

Yes, I love my dad, my hero.

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