My first puppy love...

Note: Updated!

Some time ago, I was talking to Alen about being 23 and the fact that few of our childhood friends are either getting engaged or married at this age. I was expecting him to tell me that he's at least attached or getting engaged soon since all those years of knowing, he's kinda popular among girls, you know?

There I was, pestering him to get a girlfriend since IMU is full of pretty and smart girls but he actually told me no girls want to date him! I certainly don't trust the fact that no girls want to date him. It was even more surprising when he said inner beauty outshines appearance because that means I'll stand a chance to win his heart.

So, our conversation went like this...

Me: Alen, consider me la!
Alen: Why not? If there's chemistry, everything will work out fine for us.
Me: (fell off my chair) Ha-ha-ha-ha... very funny indeed.
Alen: What are you laughing at? Crazy ah?
Me: I was expecting other answers from you instead of "why not?"
Alen: Like what?
Me: Something like, "You want me to consider you? Are you joking?"
Alen: Don't be ridiculous la!

I really fell off my chair when Alen said, "Why not?" instead of sarcastically saying, "You want me to consider you?"

Alright, alright, I know some of you realize that I've been posting a lot of entries about the BIG L game lately. Eh, lao niang also got emotional moments, okay?

A lot of things bring back memories lately - well, I don't know why but memories are weird sometimes. At the times when you don't want to even think about them, they always come bouncing back to you.

I woke up this morning, reminiscing the past - those years when I was still in primary school. Those were the days... Technically, yeah, those were the most carefree years of my life - no worries, no stresses, no nothing. Basically, I just went to school to talk to friends so, that explains why I'm so talkative and at the same time learning new things.

I wasn't quite exposed to the world of paktology or better known as relationships because honestly, I'm from a quite conservative family and my parents used to refrain my siblings and I from talking about it until we reached a certain age - well, the same thing goes to topics on sex.

The topic is not about sex (FULL STOP).

When I was in Primary 4, there was sort of a re-positioning of which class we were supposed to join and this was done according to our results from Primary 1 to Primary 3. To put things in a simpler way, all of us had to get to know new classmates since half of the classmates were from another class.

At a point of time, our class teacher kinda re-arranged our seat places and I ended up sitting next to my first ever puppy love - Derek.

*Derek, he and I were meant to be... Far longer than forever, I'll hold you in my heart, I'll make an everlasting love, to find the way through...*

Haha, that was The Swan Princess' theme song. Sorry for diverting you.

I remember very clearly that he was the one who made the first move by asking for my number name. It was the first time ever in my 10 year-old life that a guy friend asked for my name. Well, seriously, I wasn't good-looking even as a kid - when we exchanged hand-shake, that was the first time in my life that I felt my heartbeat fastened. Yes, my heart was pounding so fast that it almost fell out of it's place.

How should I put words into imagination?

Hmmm... Maybe I'll just attach a picture so that it'll a lot easier for me to continue with my story and for you guys to know what I'm going to talk about.

~ Derek is on the left - obviously ~

He used to be so active in class and he actually interacted with a lot of friends in the class. He was certainly one of the few teachers' pets in our class. Despite excelling academically, Derek was also an athlete. As far as I could remember, he used to play basketball, badminton, volleyball and he also represented the school on track-field events.

Well, enough about that for now - all in all, in the eyes of the vulnerable me at 10, he seemed so perfect in every single aspect.

Derek was friendly, funny, cheerful and supportive. Yeah, I used to hate Mandarin classes back then and it was because of him that slowly, I began liking it because he was so good in Mandarin that I often felt intimidated sitting beside such a smart person that he always cheered my day whenever he was around. More than often, he would be helping out with my Mandarin exercises and sometimes, Mathematics too since those were the two subjects I hated most.

Then again, despite of all those memories of us, sitting side by side to each other, doing homework, playing games and stuffs together, I remember there were times when we were punished by our teachers because we talked too much - well, yeah, technically, I used to be talkative too.

Yeah, yeah, I know I am STILL talkative NOW - so, shuddap!

I guess 10 years old is really too young to know anything but I was like, imagining things. I told myself that one day, when I've grown up, I want to marry Derek and then, we'll live happily ever after - some sort of like all the fairy tales in story books. So, I wrote his name all over my books and then, I even made carvings on my erasers.

In addition to add, I used to cut out his pictures and then, put all of those pictures under my pillow because I heard if you put the picture of the person of the opposite sex that you like under your pillow, he or she will like you. That was funny but if you ask me now, I'd say it's called osmosis. Haha.

Yeah, I was an idiot - well, Arians like me are hopelessly romantic, so stop laughing.

I wrote him a love letter too but I never had the courage to give to him - yes, I was a naive and shy girl - not anymore. So, I'm going to read to you guys too, just like Xiaxue did to Tyron but not as long as her four-page long love letter. Haha... I remember it not very clearly so, if you are one of my friends that so happened to see my first ever love letter to Derek, please correct me.

Dear Derek,

I am happy when you want to talk to me. I want to talk to you more. I like you a lot and I hope you like me too.

All my love and maybe a little bit of lust,
Angel.

Lame, right? But then again, that was the truth.

Whenever Derek talked to me, I was like the happiest 10 year-old soul on Earth. I would concentrate on what he was talking about even though at times, he wasn't talking to me. I went to almost all of the competitions he took part in and I cheered for him - so loud to the extent of losing my voice for the next few days. Haha.

I exaggerated. I did cheer for him but not to the extent of losing my voice.

I wasn't sure when the feeling disappeared because the next thing I remembered the puppy love sorta feeling I had for him, he was leaving for NZ already. Well, that was during Form 4.

So, since then, I haven't seen him around - OMG, for 7 freaking years!!!

No, we didn't keep in touch or anything because first of all, although we used to sit next to each other, he still had his circle of close boy or girl friends while I had mine too but mostly girl friends. Hello, remember? I was the fugly girl next door?

OMG, 7 years! That is indeed a long period of time! Sometimes, I do wish I'm still keeping in touch with him - AS FRIENDS, mind you! Well, after all, once we used to know each other and for the next moment, I realized we haven't been talking to each other since Form 1 in 1998.

I bet he doesn't even know about the little fact that, once upon a time, an fugly pork chop girl, as in Angel, had a crush on him - well, life goes on.

If this girl is to have one wish now according to Xiaxue...



You guys should watch the video above if you have no idea what I'm talking about here...

Aherm... So, if this girl is to have one wish now... it is that she will get a kiss from him :)

But I guess that is unlikely going to happen this lifetime...

Well, that was the story of my first puppy love or better known as my first crush. It's always a wonder what children would do for their puppy loves, right?