Bits and pieces...

It's 2.11a.m. and I'm still sitting in front of my lappie, dreaming away but FULLY awake and conscious of what is going on.

I have been pretty disturbed lately. Nah, it's no longer about any other person but it's about myself. Guess there are a lot of rough patches that I need to mend in my life right now.

I was looking at some old school pictures of myself and all of a sudden, I miss my university years in UTAR. Seriously, I miss a lot of my friends and also those moments spent laughing and eating our worries and stresses away!

What is happening to me now?

Sighs... I think it could be due to the fact that my birthday is coming again and I'm going to get older for once again. In no time, I shall be referred to as the old geezer, I think! Thus, it explains why I've been having countless sleepless nights. Like a friend would put it, "Staying up late usually leads to life issues like career, love and money."

Yes, true enough!

I'm old enough to be climbing up the career ladder but instead of working my way up, I feel like my career world is crashing down. When all of my friends are busy working hard, I am still stuck with my studies. Honestly, if you were to ask me again if I would be choosing the same path if given the chance again, my answer is NO. If I knew doing Masters would be such a torture to my career life right now, I'd never even think of starting it!

Yes, I'm stuck with my thesis because I feel like giving up as life is so difficult!

Money is always a problem for everyone. I've been facing financial crisis, yeah, blame it on shopping and entertainment in KL. Even staying at home means using money in a complicated place like KL. I wish I could just go back to where I belong, get a job and lead a simple life! Yeah, I could just get a job and earn to avoid monetary problem while doing my thesis but then again, my ability to multitask has gone DOWNHILL, I can't work and study at the same time these days. Please don't judge me when I say this.

I shall not ramble much about money.

Love... this is something I want most and yet I'm scared of it the most. Among all of the problems that I'm facing, the thought of having to grow old alone scares the hell out of me! Every time, when I get invitations after invitations to friends' wedding, I do have the feeling of reluctant to attend their big days because for sure I know I'll be going green with envy, seeing them walking down the aisle with their partners when I am still single, very much available and yeah, unwanted perhaps.

Sighs...

Sighs...

Guess what I can do now is just to shut my eyes and sleep my worries away!