Thursday, August 26, 2010

The things about REGRET

If you'd ask the elders, they will often tell you, "One should never tell lies."

I know it's like, every single soul on Earth knows we shouldn't tell lies and yes, white lies are included in it too.

Well, it's something like terlajak perahu boleh diunder, terlajak kata badan binasa.

In English, it basically means look before you leap, especially when you're talking to somebody. If you've said something bad or sometimes, white lies, karma will get back to you someday.

I was talking to a friend regarding the things I regret most doing and not doing in life. That topic honestly bothers me a lot because up to this point of life, I have 3 top things I regret doing the most. Let's start with #3 instead of #1.

#3 - Never studied hard enough.

Remember as a child, when people asked us, "What is your ambition?"

Our answers would always be definite, "I want to be a doctor."

There are times when we would answer, "I want to be a lawyer!"

Other answers would be, "I'm going to be a pilot, nurse, engineer, yada, yada, yada..."

Mine was pretty definite too, "I want to be a doctor when I grow up."

Well, here I am, an adult already but I never get to fulfill my childhood dream because childhood dream is a total bullshit. I'm not a doctor but still a struggling student. How pathetic can my life get, right?

When I look back in time, I really regret for not fulfilling my dream of being a doctor.

Perhaps, I should study harder then, I might be able to be another type of doctor - doctor of philosophy and then on, you all shall address me as Dr. Angel. Muahahahahaha...

#2 - Dated a series of assholes!

Let's leave out those guys whom I have crush on because I never dated them. I dated my friend's boyfriend - how great am I - definitely. Well, what can you expect from a 21 year-old kid back then? Let's put him in #1 in The Ex-List, shall we?

Exception from telling lies like he'd break up with his then-girlfriend, Ex #1 did nothing much. When we went out, he was the one picking me up, sending me home and paying all the bills for meals and also movies.

Then, I met the asshole of all assholes, which I shall refer him rate him as #2 in The Ex-List.

Ex #2 was a total devil and asshole. Well, you can't blame me because he is indeed merely stupid, katak di bawah tempurung and gatal.

Other than asking me for money $$$, he asked for sex with the reason, "You're marrying me, hence, there's no difference in having sex now or later."

How is that kinda mere stupidity ever born into this world? Let's put it, 有其父必有其子 and I'm pretty certain it's heredity in his assholic family.

What to do? Bapa borek anak rintik hence, bapa gatal, anak lebih gatal.

So, moving on to Ex #3 as of now. This is a even more special case because I never dated any races besides Chinese and Ex #3 is not a Chinese. The good thing about him was that he'd go extra mile just to make me smile or even to take up blames for my mistakes.

Well, it was a employer-employee relationship, hence things ended quite badly for us and the worst thing of all... He dumped me on my birthday because of some issues that both of us were not able to resolve. How cruel can life get?

Then again, I regret that I've wasted my time on the three ex-es. I mean, yeah, there's a saying that goes, if you don't meet Mr. Wrongs, how do you know who will be your Mr. Right?

If that's the case, I shall meet more Mr. Wrongs, toy and dump them - if you can't beat them, join them. That's me!

#1 - Told lies to somebody I really care.

This is the thing that I've done that will haunt me forever.

I've told him a lot of lies and still, he believes me to this very day... Sometimes, it just strikes me that I'm really evil. I know telling lies are bad in this case but if I didn't come up with lies, I didn't even get the chance to know him.

Further more, those lies started when I was only 13 and I really can't believe those lies are perceived as REAL up until 12 years later - that's up to TODAY.

Sometimes, I'm thinking, why would I be so stupid back then? If only I didn't gang up with my fellow friends to play a trick on him and stuffs like that, things will be so different today.

Arghh... I was indeed the stupidest idiot ever back then. I guess I can never turn back the time, hence, I don't have any choice because telling him the truth isn't the wisest thing to do.

There you go... 3 top things I regret doing the most. So, what are yours?

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