The past, present and future

I woke up yesterday morning, feeling quite emotional all of a sudden. It has been quite some time since I have felt so. It felt as if I have just woken up from tears - my eyes were sore and I was mentally tired. I thought, perhaps it was the workload but after having several heart-to-heart talk with friends, I realized it wasn't about workload.

It was about my life - my past, present and future.

I guess there are just times when you feel like doubting all your current decisions. For once, I am unsure if it is your presence that made me feel this way.

Before I actually got to know you, I was this idiotic girl who used to be a dreamer. A dreamer who dreams a lot about the impossible. I remember, there was once when I told a close friend of mine that I want to get attached to a guy who is caring, sensitive, kind, gentle, helpful and innocent. At the same time, he would have to be someone who knows what basic respect is. That close friend of mine laughed and answered me, "It is not impossible but you can only meet this guy in your dreams!" 

Well, you can put it that guys like that do not really exist in the present world any longer. At least that is what majority of us believe in. It is worse if you have been staying in big cities like KL for quite some time and you know everyone is so materialistic, realistic and selfish.

However, I told her, one of these days I will meet someone like that and prove her wrong.

Thinking back, so many years have passed and honestly I have not even bumped into a guy who has those traits.

Maybe, just maybe, as my friend has put it - this kind of guy will only appear in dreams. I did ponder over what she has told me.

Perhaps she was right. I have spent so many years, waiting for him but he never appeared.

It was quite disappointing but somehow, I still told myself to hold on.

Until the day I got to know you - finally, I believe miracle does exist.

There you are - you are all I could ask for in a guy.

You have taught me how to see perfections in imperfections.

You have taught me how to love myself more than anybody else in the world.

You have taught me how to look at things positively and even if things do not work out, it is not the end of the world.

You have taught me that being the best at your best doesn't mean you will be the best person.

You have taught me that everything can't be measured materialistically, it is the effort that counts.

You have taught me that there is nothing more beautiful than confidence.

When I look back in time, I do ask myself occasionally, what would our lives be if we were to know each other few years back?

I never thought someone like you would really exist in this world but somehow, you do exist :)

Future?

I don't know what the future holds nor am I able to predict what will happen to us. I guess whatever happens, both of us just have to give blessings to each other.

Thank you for always being there. 

It is a blessing in disguise to know you.